Nestor Gomez - Extra Mile

 

I drive for Uber during the weekends and the afternoons on the weekdays. So, I was driving around and I got this request to pick up somebody and I drove to the address. When I got there, a young man was already waiting for me on the sidewalk. So, I parked the car. But he doesn't come into the car. He knocks on the window and he tells me that he requested a ride for his mother, because he needs me to take his mother to the Metro station on Randolph and Michigan. He tells me that his mother needs to be there by 06:00 PM, and it's already 05:40. [audience laughter] 

 

So, I could easily get from Bogtown, or I like to call it, Hipster Town, [audience chuckle] all the way to Randolph and Michigan in 15 minutes, maybe 10. It's easy, but not on a Wednesday afternoon in the middle of rush hour. So, I think I told the guy I'm going to cancel this, because there's no way that I could get her there by 6 o'clock. And he gives me this look. I know that look. It's that look that you have in your face when your mother is driving you crazy. [audience laughter] So, I told him, “You know what? Okay, I'll take her. I'll let you know I can't get there on time.” He said, “You know what? I don't care. [audience chuckle] Just take her. Please take her away. [audience laughter] But one thing, don't tell her that you're not going to get there on time, because then she's going to get mad.” I said, “Fine.” 

 

So, he goes back into the house and comes back with this grumpy looking old lady. [audience chuckle] And the lady's trying to walk and she's complaining about all these stairs are too steep, “You're pushing me. You're making it difficult for me.” And the guy finally gets to the car, opens the door and puts his mother inside the car. And he has a big smile on his face. [audience laughter] And I’m thinking, why is he smiling? This lady is so mean to him. And the lady asked me, “Do you know where you’re going?” And before I can answer, she said, “Just put the address on the GPS, because I don’t want you to get lost.” 

 

So, I put the address on the GPS and the GPS lady says, “You’ll be arriving to your destination at 06:20.” [audience laughter] And the lady gets mad and she says, “You people are always making me be late.” I’m like, “What?” I’m mad at the GPS lady. [audience laughter] I got mad at this lady for saying you people. [audience chuckle] But I don’t know if she meant you people as Latino people, people of color, or she meant you people as Uber drivers, Lyft drivers. [audience laughter] But I’m mad and I decide that I’m going to do my best to take this lady to her destination by 6 o’clock, and show her that my people can do our job- [audience cheers and applause] -even if I don’t know who the hell my people is. [audience laughter] So, I start driving. As soon as I start driving, the GPS lady and the old lady told me to take the expressway. [audience laughter] I ignore them, I keep driving past the expressway. As I pass the expressway, the GPS lady and the old lady told me, “Do a U-turn, go back on the expressway.” [audience laughter] So, I tell them, “Listen, both of you, [audience laughter] if I get on the expressway, there’s no way that I’ll get you there at 6 o’clock. I know a better route.”

 

So, I take a street that is next to the expressway, and I keep driving on that street all the way until the street ends. And then, I take a side street and another side street and an alley and a side street and another side street. And the GPS lady is like, “Make a left, make a right. [audience laughter] Rerouting. Make a left, make a right.” And the old lady’s like, “You’re getting lost. You’re lost. You don’t know where you’re going.” [audience laughter] I just keep driving until I’m close to my destination. But I realized that I need to go east. And Randall is a one-way street that goes west. So, my only choice is to take Lake Street. Yeah, Lake Street is a mess. [audience laughter] I’m looking at the light and I’m like, “I need to do it.”

 

So, I make a left, I’m going to Lake Street and there’s no cars on Lake Street. And I just-- I made it all the way to Michigan Avenue, and I just had to turn right and one more block and I’ll be there. I got five minutes to spare. [audience cheers and applause]

 

That’s what I thought. [audience laughter] Because it’s Michigan Avenue. It’s crazy with traffic and people, and we get stuck on traffic and one-minute passes, two minutes, the light changes and the cars barely move and we get stuck at the light, right at the light. And one-minute passes and another minute passes and then the light changes and I make it to the intersection and as I park, 6 o’clock and I say, “We made it.” [audience laughter] And the old lady said, “I still got to go downstairs. You’re going to make me be late.” [audience laughter] And the GPS lady didn’t say anything. [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

I guess she was as hurt and surprised as I was. [audience laughter] Thank you.