Tim Gunn - Underpacked

 

Thank you. Thank you so much. About myself, I will say that I care about how I look, I care about the clothes that I wear, I care about the message that they send. I try to anticipate situations and be prepared for them as well as I can be. So, that's the little bit about me. 

 

My family figures in this story, because it is a family story. Let's go back 12 years, because that was when this happened. My mother at that time was in her late 60s, and living in a house that she built to retire in Bethany Beach, Delaware. I won't say that she cares as much about-- well, I should say. She cares about her appearance, but she's always making excuses for it, that there's not so much she can do until she loses some weight and gets a new wardrobe, and it's that old story. Yet every closet in her house, which is a pretty large house, is filled with clothes. So, when I go to see her, I have no place to put anything. I just am spreading out clothes on a bed or whatever.

 

My sister and brother-in-law are both in academia, not unlike me. They also care about appearance and they're very, very preppy. Then there's my father. My father had been very ill with Alzheimer's disease. Again, we're going back 12 years. He'd been in a nursing home for about eight years. I don't know how many of you in this room have experienced this with a loved one, but it is devastating. It's simply devastating. At the time that he was diagnosed, which had been about eight years before that, the doctor said to my mother, and I was standing there, "Resign yourself to having this tear your family apart to financial ruin, and eventually your husband will lose his soul." And I thought, it could possibly tear the family apart, it could cause financial ruin, but lose his soul?

 

So, my sister and I would take the family dog to visit dad at Christmas time, because the nursing home welcomed pets during the holiday season. And our Wirehaired Terrier would-- we'd open the door to the nursing home, she would run through the halls to dad. Somehow, she knew where he was, leap into his lap, and there was this happy reunion, even though he hadn't a clue who she was. And this one Christmas, three years before this particular event, the dog didn't know who he was. We tried to put her in his lap, and she'd just leap off, and she looked at him as though, "Who is this?" I turned to my sister and I said, "He lost his soul." 

 

So, from that point forward, we had a whole series of crises. Dad was going, Mother would call, "Get ready, the time has come. Get ready, get ready, get ready." Well, it didn't come until this one fateful day when she called and I'm sort of-- She's getting into her whole story about it and, "Okay, I know, get ready." She said, "No, it's happened." So, we're gathering, we have to bury him. He was in Washington. He was being taken to Evansburg, Pennsylvania, where there was a family burial plot. Again, why Evansburg? I haven't a clue, but I'm not going there. [audience chuckles] 

 

So, I gathered my things together as well as I could and with no notice at all, and headed to Wilmington via Amtrak, where I was met by my mother. We drove to Pottstown, where we stayed overnight with my sister and brother-in-law and their kids. And owing to the fact that my sister and brother-in-law pack like they're leaving Romanov Russia and never returning, [audience laughter] we couldn't travel in one vehicle. It was impossible. So, the next morning they take off in one car, and mother and I are in another.

 

And it was a long trip. It was winter, so it was sleety and icy and not very pleasant. And it was getting dark early, and we drove for about six hours. It was a Sunday, just to give you a day. So, it's a soulful day. We're about 30 minutes from Evansburg, and I realized that I have left my funeral suit in the closet in the guest room at my sister's. I'm wearing a pair of khaki pants and a pink oxford cloth shirt. Remember, this was 12 years ago. I've evolved. [audience laughter] I just broke out in this hot panicky sweat of what am I going to do? Nothing's open. I can't be pallbearing tomorrow morning in khakis and a pink oxford cloth shirt.

 

I'm thinking, my niece is really crafty and maybe if we gave her a couple of Sharpies, she could fix the khakis. But what's she going to do about the pink shirt? And then, of course, I transferred this panic to my mother, who then went into her whole mother thing. This is when you feel completely infantilized about, "You idiot. How could you have done this?" Well, it happened. [audience laughter] So, I thought, I'll drop mother off at the motel, I'll drive back to Pottstown, six hours, get the suit and come back. But you know what the really-- The thing I was just self-flagellating? Because there was no reason to have taken that suit out of the trunk of the car. It could have stayed in the garment bag, it didn't have to go in. But I'm thinking, oh no, it needs to have a nice vertical hang overnight. [audience laughter] Don't ever say that to yourselves. Leave it where it's nice and safe, and you won't forget it. 

 

So, we have the Beverly Hillbilly truck driving behind us with all the luggage strapped to the outside of the car. Not really, but metaphorically it works. I say to myself, “You know something, my brother-in-law Jay probably has about 25 suits with him. [audience chuckles] While we're not the same size, I will make it work.” [audience laughter] [audience applauses] 

 

And in fact, he was traveling with no fewer than four suits. [audience chuckles] So, not only did I was there a suit for me to wear, there could be a fashion show. [audience chuckles] I mean, it was simply remarkable. A white shirt and a dark tie, and I was all set. So, I said to my mother, "I will never, ever, ever say anything about the fact that they overpack so badly." They were forgiven forever at least from me, because they bailed me out of this tremendously difficult situation. They still continue to overpack. They do, but I always know that there's something in that wardrobe for me should there be some critical emergency. [audience chuckles] So, I thank all of you. I'm so thrilled and honored to have been here, and I thank all of you. Thank you.