Tomi Reichental - The Shower

 

Well, I'm in Bergen-Belsen concentration camp. I don't even know what concentration camp is. I'm only nine years old, and I see fire around me and watchtower, so I know I am not free. Not long before I was in my village called Merašice in Slovakia, where I was still playing. In summer, I used to run barefoot. In winter, we used to toboggan. So, this place was for me a little paradise. But now I found myself that I'm a little prisoner. I'm confused, I'm starving, I'm cold, and I'm very, very miserable.

 

It was 16th of October 1944, when were betrayed, arrested by the Gestapo and deported to this hell on earth Bergen-Belsen. I remember this particular day when we, the children, began to realize what is happening around us and learn while the adult already knew. There was a usual routine. We were in Bergen-Belsen perhaps 10 days, two weeks. Every morning, we have to go on a roll call, and we have to stand in freezing cold outside for an hour to wait for our supervisor. They were young women, SS guards. 

 

But this particular day they were accompanied by a group of armed soldiers. I could hear whisper around, “Something is wrong. Why these soldiers?” They would call our number, and we had to say, "Yeah." After the roll call, we were told to go to the hut, and bring our blankets and towels out, because we are going to go to another place to have a shower. Now, that was good news. A hot shower. We're going to go to walk. For me, it was great news because I didn't need to go to the washroom outside with washing myself with freezing cold water.

 

But there were looks around, and I thought the people felt uncomfortable. We ran in to pick up the blankets and the towels. There was quite activity inside the hut. I saw this woman lean against her neighbor and said, "You think everything is okay? They are telling us the truth?" She just shrugged her shoulder and didn't say anything, but I could see she had tears in the eyes. I wanted to ask my mother, what's going on. But she was busy helping my oma to pick up the towel and blankets, and also helping my cousin Chava. Aunt Margot was standing in the doorway and she was urging us to come out quickly, because the soldiers outside were very impatient, waiting for us.

 

So, slowly, people were coming out and we had to be put three and three into a row. When everybody was out, we began to march around by the perimeter. Everybody was very quiet. It was very cold. I felt a little bit uncomfortable and thinking, why is everybody so sad? I mean, I heard a woman talking about we would like to have shower, and suddenly we have it and they don't feel any happy about it.” I saw a woman front of me suddenly taking the wedding ring off her finger, and she looking around if any of the soldiers are looking at her, and then she threw the wedding ring into the ground to the dust, and talked to her friend and she said, "These bastards will not get my gold."

 

We continued to go. I thought were going for a couple of miles, but it perhaps was about 30 minutes or so, till we stopped front of this big building, concrete building. And from the roof, this tall chimney. There were gasps around me. One woman even shouted loudly, said "Oh my God." My brother and my cousin, they were puzzled. I couldn't understand the panic around me. The next thing, the soldiers were urging us to go into the building, “Schnell, schnell.” So, were pushed in. We come to this long hallway hall. On the left side, we saw benches. There was chemical smell hung in the air. There were metal trolleys with bar on the top with hangers on it. And on the right side, we saw these heavy metal doors. 

 

Again, the soldiers were barking order to us. I didn't understand. They were speaking German. But Aunt Margot then conveyed the order that we have to dress, and put our clothes on the trolleys and the blankets, everything to leave there. There were even numbers on these trolleys. We were supposed to remember the number. And the women and everybody began to undress. The soldiers were standing on the side, and they were joking and smiling, making remarks and faces. 

 

When we were standing there all naked, there was this little incident that one of these soldiers was rather young suddenly was walking towards us. He was looking firmly on my cousin Chava. Like, my brother and myself, she didn't look very Jewish. She had long golden hair, blond hair dangling over the shoulder. When my aunt saw it, she stepped front of her daughter and stopped the soldier, and the soldier said, "What is this Aryan girl doing here?" My aunt retorted rather loudly, so that the SS woman could hear it, "Go away." He turned around and he walked away, and no more was said anything about it. 

 

When I was looking around, it was shocking to see the old woman with the white skin and crinkled skin, including my grandmother. They were so pathetic, standing there, innocent. I felt ashamed and insulted. I was tainted. Again, we were told to move towards the doors. As we were coming to the door, everybody got a piece of soap. We entered this large room with concrete floor, and on the ceiling pipe crisscrossing the ceiling with shower heads all over the ceiling. When everybody was in, suddenly, it became very silent. We didn't hear the soldiers anymore. The door was slammed behind us.

 

We all stood there. The adults all looked up towards this shower head. I didn't know what was happening. I saw some of the women were crying. My mother took myself and my brother, and pressed against her body. It was cold. We were standing there for about minute or two, maybe couple of seconds, when we heard this gurgle going through the pipe. My mother squeezed us even harder. I could hear her heart beating fast. She was breathing very hard, like she was gulping for air.

 

Everybody was looking towards the ceiling. We heard this noise coming nearer and nearer. Suddenly, hot water was sprouting from the shower head. And that was exactly what I was expecting. [audience laughter] But I couldn't believe what was happening around me. The women were kissing their children. They were laughing and crying at the same time. They were embracing one another. I couldn't understand what is all this happening around. I just wanted to wash myself with the soap and hot water. For a long time, I didn't hear such laughter while we were in the camp. In fact, that was the only shower that we had during our stay in the camp under the German imprisonment. 

 

And the women, of course, the adult among us, late in 1944, already knew about Auschwitz-Birkenau. They knew about the gas chamber. But we kids, we did not know anything about it. Million Jews were fooled by giving soap in the hand pretending they going to have shower and they ended up in gas chamber. So, I can only imagine today what our mothers were thinking at the time. They were thinking that we were going there. 

 

Bergen-Belsen was liberated on 15th April 1945. That day was the day that our nightmare ended. Thank you.