Samantha Williams - The Great Zimbabwe

 

Thank you. Okay, so you should know that I can't swim. Keep that right here. Comes in handy later. So, in 2015, I was living in Johannesburg, South Africa and had a great group of girlfriends, many that I'd known for a couple of years and my closest friend in the group, her name was Farai and she was organizing a trip for our friend Lorraine to go to Victoria Falls to celebrate her 35th birthday. 

 

Now this should be very straightforward. We're going to Vic Falls, we're doing boozy boat cruises, we're doing barbecues by the pool. It's going to be great. And for the first two days of the trip, it was exactly that. We were lightly lit on the river, we saw the falls, we ate whole plates of food. Everything's wonderful. 

So, then on the day we're supposed to leave, Lorraine, who's turning 35 and in her feelings and wants to have a big adventure before she leaves Vic Falls, says, “Ladies, what if we go white water rafting?” And all of the other members of the group, there's six of us and we're all from-- We're living in South Africa, Zimbabwe, Tanzania, like these are down women to adventure. They're like, “Yeah, let's go white water rafting.” And I'm like, “Hey, I can't swim and I really need to make this flight because I have work tomorrow. So, I don't think we should go whitewater rafting.” 

 

Imagine this going on for about two hours and then imagining it ending with us in a van on our way to Victoria Falls for the whitewater rafting, reading the release waiver in the van and learning that the Zambezi River is a Class five or Stage five river. There are no Stage six rivers for whitewater rafting. [audience laughter] That's it. It is a Stage five river and amateurs and people who can't swim are not supposed to be on that river whitewater rafting. [audience laughter] 

 

Fast forward an hour later, I'm shaking and like basically crying. Everyone else is super pumped. We're all ladled up in our vests and the guides are like, “A 97-year-old woman did this yesterday. You're fine.” I'm like, “She sounds hardcore. I'm not. I can't swim.” [audience laughter] He then shows me how safe it's going to be by throwing Lorraine into the river at like a calm part. And of course, her vest buoys her straight up. And he's like, “See, you're going to be just fine. You'll float up just like that too.” And in my head I'm like, maybe, yeah, like maybe I'll live through this. 

 

So, he teaches us the brace position. There are six of them on little canoes sort of beside us in the raft. And they tell us no one ever flips over of course, you're going to be just fine. They're in there. I don't know what they're called kayaks. And they're like “And if anything happens, we got you.” We start going down the rapids, and I'm feeling the breeze. It's actually kind of nice. We're surviving, so I'm happy. And then we start to get to the ones that the rapids that have names, and I've forgotten the names, [audience laughter] but it's like “The washing machine. The closet door.” You know the closet door because it's like, it slams closed really fast. And I was like, okay. And then we get to “The Terminator,” [audience laughter] and I was like, “Are we going over the Terminator?” And he's like, “Yep, get oars down. We're down. We're down.” And then he screams out, “Brace,” which means you're supposed to drop your oar into the raft and put your head down. 

 

So, he screams, brace. We do that, and the next thing I know, we are completely submerged under the water. I don't even remember this part of the day. I remember my friend Farai, who was my roommate in grad school like that means she owes me nothing in life, but we became great friends after this. She pulled me out of the water. I mean, I can't swim, so the vest, it can save you in still water. But the rapid's going over your head from the Terminator. It's got very little to do. She's holding me for dear life and holding me onto the raft. It's completely overturned. And so, the bottom is up, and we're all just sort of screaming in the water, going over these rapids. The kayakers are telling us there's nothing we can do until they can get us over into the side of the riverbank. 

 

And we notice that someone in the water starts having an asthma attack. This is a black woman who has started to turn purple. She cannot breathe. And I start noticing that my side really hurts, but she's purple, so I got to keep it quiet, but my side really hurts. So, we go over one more rapid. They start to try to-- Farai pulls me onto the top of the raft, then pulls herself up. We get the woman who's having the asthma attack onto the top of the raft, another rapid, it's still coming over every time, I'm sure it's the end for me, because at this point, I'm just swallowing water. There's really nothing you can do. 

 

And then I started to notice the blood on my side is starting to go grow a little bit. Her asthma attack subside, so I feel like I can speak up now. I'm like, “Hey, I'm bleeding and it hurts a lot.” [audience laughter] And I don't know if any of y' all have ever been hysterical, but it turned from like, “Hey, I'm bleeding” to screaming, “Y'all. I think something happened to me, too.” Another rapid. Another rapid. 

 

To keep it to five, Y'all, we went over nine more rapids before they could finally corral us over to the side of the river. So, we get to the side of the river, they're finally able to call the emergency helicopter. We get helicopter evacuated, see the falls again. I feel them brush my face, [audience laughter] spend the night in the hospital. The next day, finally released, I had missed all this luscious chub had made sure that no organs or bones got broken. But I was deeply bruised and decided that I will never, ever again go white water rafting, but I will go anywhere in the world with Farai.