A.E. Hotchner - The Day I Became a Matador

 

 

I'm going to take you back to Spain in the summer of 1959, when the big event was mano a mano bullfight between the two great matadors of that epoch, Luis Miguel Dominguín and Antonio Ordóñez. There hadn't been such a bullfight, mano a mano in 30 years, and there hasn't been one since then. So, it was a great event. My longtime friend Ernest Hemingway called me and he said, “I'm going to go there and cover it for Life magazine. I'm going to write about it. Why don't you come on down, and we'll have another adventure?” [audience laughter] 

 

I had met Ernest when I edited his novel Across the River and into the Trees. And afterwards, I had adapted many of his short stories and novels for television and for the movies. We'd had some great adventures together, fishing for marlin and hunting birds in Idaho and a lot of other things. [audience laughter] 

 

So, I got to Valencia, where the first mano a mano was held, and they were marvelous, both bullfighters. And the second mano a mano was in Malaga, where they were even better. And afterwards, we all adjourned to the Miramar Terrace, where we had a great deal of red wine, and tapas, and had a good time. And during the course of it, Antonio, who was Ernest's favorite bullfighter of all time, said, “You know something, Pecas? I think you should be in the ring. What do you think, Ernest?” He called me Pecas. That was his nickname. Pecas means the freckled one, which I was at that time. [audience laughter] 

 

Ernest said, “That's fine. Hotchner you should be ready to get in the ring, be a matador, and I'll be your manager.” [audience laughter] And we now drink a lot of red wine, and we're having a great time. And I'm extrapolating over where I'll fight. I know that's just red wine talking and not anything that's going to happen. And before we leave, Antonio says, “Tell you what, the next mano a mano is in Ciudad Real. You can be the sobresaliente, and I'll put you in one of my suits.” I didn't think anything more of this. [audience laughter] 

 

When we got to Ciudad Real to see the mano a mano, we went up to the hotel room where Antonio was to wish him suerte good luck, there was on the bed a bullfight suit. [audience laughter] And it was Antonio's. He came over and he said, “I thought you'd like the colors.” They're ivory and black with a touch of red. He said, “I think it goes with your complexion.” [audience laughter] I said, “My complexion right now is white and getting whiter.” [audience laughter] So, they proceeded to dress me. 

 

Now, I want to tell you, a bullfighter's costume is no laughing matter. [audience laughter] The undergarment is pulled on you, and it's like new skin. Then they give your traje de luces, which is your outer garments. They weigh approximately, like an anvil being put on your back. [audience laughter] So, I was dressed up in my suit. There was no way really to move in any direction. I was mummified. [audience laughter] You have to be suited like this. Because if you go in the ring and there's a breeze, a little wind, and you're wearing anything that moves, the bull is going to go for you instead of the cloth that you're waving out here. 

 

So, therefore, I now am put together, and I thought, this is one of those bibulous jokes. They've got me dressed up, and then, ha, ha, they go to the ring, and they leave me here in the room in this ridiculous costume. [audience laughter] I'm not going to be any bullring. [audience laughter] As the hour approaches for the fight, everybody leaves except Antonio and me. We're alone in the room. Antonio goes over to a table where he has some religious objects, and he starts to pray over them. I'm in my corner over there, wishing to hell I had something to pray over. [audience laughter] 

 

The door opens. It's for real. I am down now in the van, and we're on our way to the bullfight. I'm sitting next to my manager, Mr. Senior Ernest Hemingway. [audience laughter] And he said to me, “You know, this is my first time as a matador manager, and I'm rather nervous.” [audience laughter] He said, “I'm rather nervous. How about you?” [audience laughter] At that moment, the van is going by the bullring. And outside the entrance of the bullring is a poster bigger than this room. And at the top, it says mano a mano and it's Dominguín versus Ordóñez. And underneath, sobresaliente el Pecas. [audience laughter] 

 

Now, I want to tell you what a sobresaliente is. It's a substitute sword. And this matador, who's the third matador, only goes in the ring if the other two have been blasted off the face of the sand, either by a goring or whatever. Obviously, a joke. We go under the stands now. We're prepared for the paseo you've all seen in the movies, the paseo where everybody goes across the sand, the horses and the matadors and everybody else. I'm standing there with these two great matadors. They have fixed my ceremonial cape, so it's exactly right. 

 

And Antonio says to me, “Listen, be careful about when we walk the paseo over to the judges stand where the Presidente is, follow me exactly, because Litri, who was a bullfighter, took young Count Teba in as a sobresaliente, as a joke. But Teba was a little bit wobbly, and the wardens spotted him, they arrested him, and he spent a week in jail.” [audience laughter] And I thought, now's the time to run. [audience laughter] But off we went, the horses first, then the two matadors, then el Pecas, and then the rest of it. [audience laughter] 

 

Walking from there over to the president's box was four miles. [audience laughter] I did everything I could to be just like Antonio, and I guess I pulled it off. I didn't wind up in jail. We doffed our hats to the president. I went into the Callejon, which is the little alley between the wooden barrera and the first-row seats. My manager is standing there. [audience laughter] He says, “You know, there's something I forgot to tell you.” [audience laughter] “By the way, I'll tell you one thing.” He told me in that wagon that I glossed over, but you should know, I said to him, “When I get to the ring, I'm not conversing with what a matador does. Whoa, whoa, give me some advice from my manager.” [audience laughter] 

 

He says, “You only have to do three things. Number one. Look tragic.” [audience laughter] He said, “The bullfight is a very serious business, so you should look like you're serious.” I said, “Have you looked at me?” He says, “Number two. When you get to the ring, people are watching you. Don't lean on anything, it's ugly for the suit. [audience laughter] And number three. If the photographers come toward you, put your right foot forward. It's sexier.” [audience laughter] So, there's my manager who now says to me, “There's something I forgot to tell you. There's a fourth thing, and that is that you have to show yourself to this crowd. The sobresaliente always must make his presence known.” 

 

Whatever blood was left unfrozen froze. At this point, Dominguín had already had the first bull. Ordóñez gets the second bull. He does a couple of cape works with him, and then he fixes him, fixes the bull stands still there, walks over to the barrera, motions to me, I come out, I doff my hat to the crowd, I'm ready to leave, my cape is over my arm, the fixed bull decides not to be fixed. If you can imagine yourself on a railroad track and there's a locomotive coming right at you. [audience laughter] That was that bull. Antonio said to me, “Pecas, don't move. Don't move.” I was frozen stiff. [audience laughter] 

 

As the bull approached us and got within striking distance, Ordóñez who was to my right, swiped his cape, pulled him away, and did a faena. The sobresaliente, whose cape had slipped down, he pulled it up-- I guess the crowd thought I was making a pass. At any rate, I stiff legged out of there. That was my only experience in the ring. [audience laughter] Antonio was terrific with the last bull, his third bull. It was a faena like nobody had ever seen. The crowd went crazy. They waved their handkerchiefs, white handkerchiefs, to influence the judges, and the judges gave him the penultimate, both the ears of the bull, the tail, and a hoof. And they also demanded a tour. 

 

So, now we do a tour of the ring and he comes out and brings me with him. So, el Pecas, the sobresaliente, is now going to make a triumphal tour of the ring with this great matador. The aficionados in Spain are very appreciative of a great performance. They throw all manner of things to the matador, fans and cigars and bottles full of wine and tiaras, mantillas, shoes, hats, whatever. So, this is sailing down on us. I'm thinking, well, this is a great thing. Look at all this [unintelligible 00:13:40] And Antonio says, “Pecas, pick up the ladies shoes. Nothing else. My men will get the rest.” [audience laughter] So, I'm following him, and I'm picking up ladies shoes out of the. [audience laughter] 

 

Now, if you got a tight jacket on, and you can't really get your arms around, and your pants are so tight, they feel like you're going to fall over every time you bend down. Picking up ladies shoes is not easy. [audience laughter] And it's also, it's not very fulfilling. [audience laughter] Not for a matador. So, we circle the rings, and my arms are full of ladies shoes. [audience laughter] We finish. As is often customary, a group of men come out, and they lift Antonio up on their shoulders, and they parade him out to the street when they were going to parade him through the streets of the hotel. The band comes to follow him. And left alone in the center of the ring [audience laughter] is a sobresaliente with his arms full of shoes. [audience laughter] 

 

I didn't know I could move as fast as I did to get back to that van as it was pulling out. I got back to the hotel and I went into Antonio suite, and Antonio said, “Hey, Pecas, you were wonderful. Just throw them on the bed.” So, I dumped the shoes on the bed. He said, “Come on, the wine is flowing, and we've got tapas.” I went over, had a glass of wine. Ernest was enjoying himself. Knock on the door. He said, “Pecas, you get that.” I open it up, and there is the most gorgeous signorina you've ever seen. She's in stocking feet. She's holding one shoe. She says, “I come for my shoe.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, I usher her to the bed. I helped put the shoe on her dainty foot. Antonio and Ernest come over, invite her for wine, and we all have a glass of wine. There's a knock on the door, and another knock on the door, and another knock on the door. [audience laughter] And in they came. They reclaimed their shoes. They joined the party. It was wonderful. [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

They stayed until the wee hours. And the next day, the photographer of Life magazine, who'd been with us and taking pictures of the day before, he came with his prints of them. there was a big 8 by 10 of el Pecas with the two great matadors of the world on his right and left, beaming. Ernest comes over and said, “That's wonderful how you found your true profession.” [audience laughter] I said, “Just a minute. It may be wonderful to you, but look at the front of their pants, those significant bumps, and then look at the insignificant thing that I have.” [audience laughter] He said, “How many handkerchiefs did you use?” [audience laughter] I said, “Handkerchiefs? You're my manager. You didn't tell me to use handkerchiefs.” [audience laughter] 

 

He says, “Well, you've been to a lot of bullfights with me, didn't you see that all these matadors have nice humps in the front of their pants?” I said, “The subject never interested me until now.” [audience laughter] He says, “All right, look, I can make it up. It's okay. We'll make amends. Antonio has his next fight in Ronda. He wants you to be his sobresaliente again. And this time, we'll make a level playing field out of it.” I said, “Fine.” [audience laughter] And he said, “And I'll tell you what we're going to do.” And then, he paid me one of the greatest compliments I ever got. He said, “While they're dressing, they'll be using two handkerchiefs. But Pecas, you only need one.”