Susan Fee - Ringtones

 

 

So, I'm a mental health counselor. I work with families and teens. One of the biggest questions you get is how do you know what your teenager is really thinking about you? [audience chuckle] I'm here to tell you I have the answer. You don't have to go through their room. It's not about reading text or going on the computer. I found out the hard way. 

 

So, I'm out buying a car with my 17-year-old daughter, counselor. So, I had what I called a counselor car for many years. They don't make it anymore a Honda inside, it's a pretend Prius. [audience laughter] So, stripped down, there's nothing in this car. I'm used to that clunking along, gas mileage and all. But we're going to bump it up a little bit, and I'm going to buy this new car and my daughter is with me. We're going to learn how to buy a car. This is going to be cool. And who do I get is the sales guy is Chris, the college kid. 

 

Chris, the college kid showing us around, showing me the new things that you can get in a car. So, I'm learning. I'm liking this car. My daughter's next to me. Chris is in the back. He's showing me how all these things work in the car. It's got Bluetooth. Well, I've never had Bluetooth. I honestly didn't know how it worked. People can hear things in their car. “This is amazing, Chris. Show me, Chris college kid, how do you use Bluetooth?” He says, “I can do this.” 

 

So, he says to my daughter, “You got your phone?” “Yeah.” He says, “Okay, you got your phone?” I say, “Yeah, I got it.” He goes, "Okay, right now, call your daughter on the Bluetooth." Okay. I call my daughter. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, like surround, I don't even know what's happening. [sings Carmina Burana] What is happening? Now, if you don't know the song, Carmina Burana-- [audience chuckle] You do know it, because any movie that involves Satan has this song. [audience chuckle] 

 

I do not understand what is happening right now. But Chris, the college kid in the backseat, does understand. He and my daughter understand that this is her ringtone for me. [audience laughter] I see him in the back room, and he's like-- [audience laughter] He’s trying to tell her, [whispers] "You're going back. You're not getting this car." So, I catch my breath. I try to understand. He's like, "Yeah, yeah, you called your daughter. You could have conversation now. Okay.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, I follow up with what really only a counselor would ask. I mean, this takes training. [audience chuckle] I say, "Gabrielle, what is your father's ringtone?" [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

And she comes back with The Imperial March. [audience laughter] So, bottom line, you want to find out what your teenager thinks of you? Ringtones, baby. It's all about the ringtones. Thank you.