Toby Price -  No if ands or BUTTS

 

I was spinning the rack, looking through the comic books that I wanted to buy before my dad paid for the gas. He walked up to me and he said, “What you got there?” And I said, “Well, I got a few books. I can't decide on which ones to get.” And he said, “Get them all.” See, when I was little, I used to think that reading was boring. But it turns out it wasn't boring. I just needed to practice. My dad figured out to get me to practice, he needed to give me the books that I wanted to read. Captain America, The Avengers, Spider man, y'all, I love Spider Man. Spider man was a nerd, just like me. He was smart. I was smart. He married way out of his league. So did I. He could climb walls. I tried too many times and it didn't work.

 

But all of that reading helped me become a better reader. It helped me decide what I wanted to do when I grow up. I wanted to be a superhero, but sadly, I don't think I would look as good in the tights as they do. So, I did the next best thing. If I wanted to be a hero. I decided to go to school and become a schoolteacher. [audience cheers and applause]

 

Like most folks, as soon as I graduated school, there I was running a local restaurant here in town. [audience laughter] I enjoyed it. I had regulars who would come see me every day. I had one regular in particular who showed up one day with a friend. She and the friend started speaking to me. And it turns out the friend was a Principal at a nearby elementary school. She said, “I have a job for you. It's with the first-grade class.” I said, “Well, hmm. Okay. I did all my training with fourth grade.” She said, “That's not going to be a problem. All you have to promise me is that you just won't quit.” 

 

I went and met the class. After spending about 10 minutes with these friends, I learned what happened to the first two teachers. [audience laughter] They were, now I would call it, challenging. But every day when I walked into that room, I wasn't going to quit. I thought about what my second-grade teacher used to tell us, that everybody has something to contribute. And I thought that about my class as well. They taught me so many things. They taught me to be patient, and they taught me to most of all see the value in every child. I didn't know it at the time, but they were shaping the type of teacher I would become, but most importantly, the type of parent I would become later on. 

 

Fast forward about seven or eight years in time, and I have one, two, three kids now. My two oldest are autistic. They were diagnosed at an early age. My oldest is nonverbal. My son, my middle child, he's a little more verbal. We weren't planning on having a third. And I asked God, “You've given us a third child. Give me one that can talk, God.” And He said, “All right, watch this.” [audience laughter] Ever since she was born, we always tell folks she was four going on 40. 

 

I was going to do with them the same thing that my dad did with me. I was going to share some of my favorite books with them. So, with my son, we got out the Spider man comics, and he loved Wonder Woman. [audience laughter] With my youngest, she was a reader. I got out Harry Potter, and she loved reading about the Titanic and World War II in nonfiction. [audience laughter] But that was okay, because we did find some books that we really enjoyed together. I had heard about a book on Twitter where I talked to a bunch of my teacher friends, and it was called I Need a New Butt! by Dawn McMillan. It was a picture book for kids. I found a copy at the local Walmart and I read it to my kids, and they loved it, every second of it. 

 

I Need a New Butt!, followed by I Broke My Butt!, My Butt is SO NOISY!, yes, my personal favorite. And most recently, we were at the Walmart and we found a copy of My Butt is So Silly. And we all clamored over who was going to get to grab it off the shelf and read it first. We got in the car and we read it on the way home. We laughed and we giggled, because kids need those silly books, those funny books. That's what hooks them into being readers and becoming readers. 

 

Well, let's fast forward from that time to Read Across America Week, Dr. Seuss' birthday. I was an assistant principal in a school, and my boss asked me to set up a Zoom meeting with 12 second grade classes and a principal of a nearby building who would be their principal next year. I got you. No problem. So, all 12 classes logged into the Zoom, and I was the host. I looked at my watch, and our guest reader was not there. I text her. No answer. I called. Nothing. I told my boss what had happened, and she said, “You go ahead and read.” 

 

So, I turned around and looked in my shelf, and there it was. I needed to hook these kids. I needed them to laugh. I was going to grab I Need a New Butt! by Dawn on McMillan. And I did. I went through, and I showed them the pictures in the book and I read the story to them. And they howled when they saw the little boy slide down the banister and think that he broke his butt, because there was a crack in it. [audience laughter] They giggled. They giggled when they saw him trying to sell his dog to afford to buy a new butt at the local store. [audience laughter] And y'all, they were rolling. When he thought about, what if I had a rocket butt that could blast me into outer space? 

 

After I finished this story, I saw some of my friends in the hall, and they come up and they said, “Mr. Price, we love that story. Thank you so much.” It made me feel good. Made my heart grow nine sizes that day. And then, I was called to the principal's office. [audience laughter] Even when you're a grown up, that's no fun getting called to the principal's office. And my principal, she told me, “Mr. Price, [sighs] we have to talk about that book that you read today. I don't know if it was the most appropriate book. Some parents may complain.” 

 

And I said, “Well, that's not a problem. I'm so sorry. If someone complains, I'm more than happy to talk to them and apologize.” And she said, “Okay. Okay. We'll have to talk about it some more later.” “Yes, ma'am.” I left her office. And about 15 minutes later, I got called back to her office, because the superintendent wanted to see me at the district office. I drove to the district office on the other side of town and walked into the building in the conference room with the superintendent and assistant superintendent, and y'all, they let me have it because I chose this book. “Is this the kind of thing you find funny?” I said “Yes. Before I came here, yes.” [audience laughter] That day, they sent me home suspended with pay, pending investigation, because parents are going to call. 

 

Two days later, they call me back out to the district office. I was a nervous wreck anyways. I've never been in trouble like that before with these folks, ever. They called me back to the district office, and they came to a decision and said, “Mr. Price, we just can't get past this. I just can't get past why you chose to read this book. It was poor professional judgment, and because of which, we're terminating your contract, effective immediately.” I froze. I'm a dad of kids with autism. We don't sleep at night. We just worry with our eyes closed on a normal day, you know, how am I going to pay for therapy, medicine, bill luxuries like food, lights and water. [laughs] 

 

They told me you could sign this resignation and we can part ways, or you go home and think about it and decide if you want to appeal this, you'll have to find an attorney and we can start an appeal process, and they left me in the room. I called my wife. I told my wife what had happened. And she said, “We've been married 21 years. If you were wrong, I would tell you were wrong. But you weren't wrong. So, you're not signing that resignation.” Thank you. [audience applause] 

 

She said, “Pick your head up high. Don't let them see you cry, and walk right out of that building and come home.” I did just that. I picked my head up high, didn't let them see me cry and drove right down the street to the Dollar General for a box of Little Debbie Zebra cakes. [audience laughter] That's true. If you're going to eat your emotions, there's no better way than Little Debbie Zebra cakes. 

 

Well, after that, my wife and I found an attorney and we began the appeal process. Now, I've never been in trouble before, so this was all new territory for me. But day one of the appeal went a little bit like this. We had an expert witness come to say that reading kids silly books is good pedagogy or teaching. They objected. We have evidence of other books. Objection. We have affidavits from other educators. Objection. See a pattern? [chuckles] 

 

I learned some interesting things that day that I did not know. Like, the superintendent had no idea who Shel Silverstein was, had never heard of no David, had never heard of a Caldecott Award. Or, worst off, in this one, my wife grabbed my leg and she'd never heard of Captain Underpants. [audience laughter] And most importantly that day, I learned that not one parent complaint was submitted into evidence. Not one. [audience applause] 

 

Right. Well, the second day of the appeal was a lot more arduous than I had expected. [chuckles] It was my turn to testify, and they got to ask me questions. They all but accused me of being a liar, a thief and a pedophile. It was a terrible, terrible day. The whole process is still ongoing. And just stopping and thinking about it now makes me really sad. 

 

I had a friend who came to my house and told me, “Dude, after what happened, I took Walter the Farting Dog off my shelf and took it home.” He's a second-grade teacher. I know. And it made me think that, wow, this is a big deal, because teachers like him and teachers like me, they're not going to read those fun, silly books to kids like we want them to. And kids need those books. Not just because they're hilarious. No. [chuckles] If you can hook a child with the funny and the silly books and make them think, wow, I want to read that, they'll stick around and read more and find out all of the wonderful things the book can besides just funny and silly. 

 

Some days as a teacher, you feel like Captain America. You're up there smiling, high fiving and changing lives. And other days, you're like Peter Parker sitting in that tiny broken-down apartment, bandaging your wounds, literally and metaphorically and emotionally wondering, is this all worth it? Am I even making a difference? Why do I do this? And you do it, because it is the hardest job in the world and it's the best job in the world. 

 

And now, while we wait for a decision, I'm grateful that I get to sit at home with my three friends. We're reading some Wonder Woman, some Titanic. And my oldest has developed a love for Harry Potter, Lemony Snicket and Spider Man. And I get to share those books with those kids today. Thank you.