Gary Daniel - My Crush almost got me Crushed

 

So, love. Love is so beautiful, but it can get you killed. So, I'm about to do the craziest thing I have ever done in my life. It was to see a girl that I like that I met in 9th grade, when she was in 10th grade, and now I'm a senior, she already graduated and I don't see her anymore, so I want to see her. So, I decided to go to New Jersey to-- Even though I didn't know the address, I decided to surprise her. Yeah, that was not the smartest idea. [audience laughter] So, I had to go to the terminal bus. I didn't take any charger, my GPS was on the whole time, and I was listening to music and my phone was just dying. So, I got to the terminal bus.

 

The terminal bus, it was so big that for me, it looks like an airport with hundreds of buses to take. I was so lost that I had to ask somebody, “Yo, I want to get to New Jersey. What should I do?” [audience laughter] And he was like, “Yo, what part of New Jersey you want to go? And I was like, “I just told you, I want to go to New Jersey.” [audience laughter] And his face was like, “Damn, this guy is really lost.” [audience laughter] So, I have to give him my phone with the address, because I didn't even know how to pronounce the place that I was going, and I still don't know how to pronounce it. [audience laughter] He took me to the right place, the right bus. I didn't even know that I had to pay for a bus. I was just depending on my school Metro card. [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

So, I was lucky. I was lucky that the day before, I asked my mom for money to get a haircut, which I never did. Sorry, mom. [audience laughter] But that was good, because I used the money to get into the bus. So, when I got to the line, I realized that line was bigger than the Washington Bridge. Like, I spent an hour in that line. When I finally got to the bus and there was only one seat left and a woman next to it. She was just looking at me, like, saying, “Don't even think about sitting next to me.” [audience laughter] We started talking about telepathy, and I was like, “I don't care. I'm going to sit there because I've been waiting for an hour and I'm tired. I'm going to sit there.” 

 

I sit in there, and my GPS stopped working, and this woman was looking at me the whole time and I just was in panic. So, I thought the bus was already past the place that I wanted to go. I got off earlier. And my GPS, for some reason, started working again and I realized that I was two hours away from her house. I was just lost. [audience laughter] I realized that love is really blind, because it makes you do things that you never thought you would do. Crazy things. I was able to see the whole New York City, and I was like, “Damn, this is beautiful. But it will be more beautiful if I could see her instead.” 

 

I took that moment to tell myself what the hell I just did. [audience laughter] I just keep walking and walking. I was so hungry that I heard my stomach saying like, (in a different voice) “Feed me, please. Man, you're going to die if you don't feed me.” So, my phone was 1%. It was like one minute before it dies and I die with it. [audience laughter] I took the last minutes just to call her and at least hear her voice. It was like my last words. [audience laughter] And I told her, I patiently said, “Yo, I lost. Please help me.” It was just at that moment that my phone died. So, I was just sitting in front of a building, hoping that somebody would help me. The people were just walking by me, like they didn't care. There was even one guy that gave me $1. I appreciate it. At least something. [audience laughter] 

 

So, it started raining, and I said, I'm going to a building, somebody's building, even though that I can get arrested. I don't care, I got to find a place to sleep, dude. So, I went to the last floor. It was not as good as my bed, but it was something at least. And next day, I woke up and I was totally a mess. I had a headache, my back was hurting and I told myself, is this really how I want to surprise her? [audience laughter] So, I went to a store, so that I can get a charger or something. There were some Dominicans from my country, and they were like, “Yo, que lo que mano Toko Dutad.” [audience laughter] That means how are you? [audience laughter] And I told him, “Yo, I'm lost in another state. I was sleeping in the stairs, but I'm good. I'm happy to be alive at least.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, once my phone finally got GPS was on and I realized that I was literally next to her house. I don't know how I get there, but I was next to her house. I called her and I told her, “I'm here. Can you please pick me up, because I don't know where I am. All I know is that I'm around your house.” And she was like, “I'm sick. I can't.” And I told her, “So, you're telling me that I came all the way to New Jersey to see you, you're telling me that you're sick.” Obviously, she thought it was a joke. And I told her, “Can you please see through the window if I can find you?” She saw me, and she was shaking her hand. It was the best one for me. I was like, “I finally got it.” And she told me, “Yes, you're really crazy.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, I went to her house. We ate some papas con salami. She gave me some chocolate, because I was really cold. Although she's not here, I just want to thank her, because she accepted to go to prom with me and-- [audience go aww] [audience cheers and applause] 

 

Wait, I'm not done. [audience laughter] So, I don't know what they always think I've done when I say that. [audience laughter] So, since this is being recorded, I just want to tell you that you're the most beautiful girl I ever met. And even though you might not feel the same for me, I just want to let you know that I love you.