John Grady - My Bald & Blue Period

 

So, I spent eight years of my life here in New York City performing with Blue Man Group. [audience cheers and applause] 

 

Thank you. I know. No, it's like, seriously, dream job. [audience laughter] I'm serious. I mean, where else do you get to learn to be a precision, expert drummer, to learn to throw and catch with laser-like focus, and also to communicate non-verbally with two other blue men on stage and with the audience, because that's what it is. We don't speak, we don't talk. But it was a great job to have. It's my first time moving to New York City, my first off-Broadway show, and I'm so excited. The show is just addicting to do. Once you do your first show, you're just like, "Ah, I can't wait for the next one, and then the next one, and the next one, and then the next one.”

 

Then a week goes by, and then a month goes by, and then a year goes by, and you celebrate your first anniversary. And then, you're two years in, and a few more years have gone by, and somehow it has become a job. [audience aww] I know. It's like, I'm just trying to keep it fresh and alive after show number 2,473 or something, whatever. I'm finding myself trying to fight complacency, because you become so adept at doing all the skills that it's just not really a challenge. I find myself walking through the show thinking things like, "Did I order food between shows? [audience chuckles] Did I remember to TiVo Sopranos?" and like that. 

 

So, now I'm trying to find and rediscover that thing, that original thing, that really connected me with the show. I find myself trying to recreate those early days. For those of you who haven't seen the show, it's primarily about the audience, about connectedness and community. The audience has gathered for the evening, for this happening, for this crazy, wild, interactive piece of theater led by these three silent, bald, and blue characters. One part of the show is we bring up a volunteer, and we refer to her as our feast guest, which, not important for you to know, but just because we sit behind a table and we eventually get to dining with her. But we also take her through a bunch of tasks, and we're getting to know her, and the audience as well by manipulating things and moving things around and opening them.

 

She comes to represent the audience in a way, because we're going to be up there making, not fun of her, but making fun with her. I mean, the audience empathizes with her, because they're going to be in on some of the jokes that she's not. They'll definitely, they'll feel like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad that was you up there and not me. You were amazing. You were wonderful." Now, when I go to choose a feast guest, it's my job each night. I look for someone who's sort of open and willing, just a willing participant, someone who I think best represents the spirit of the show. Like, if I was going to choose someone from the audience here to be a feast guest, it would be like this one right here, just very shiny, available. Yes. It's just like, we just make a quick connection, like, good, so I know we're good to go. It's like that. 

 

So, I'm stepping out into the audience for the first time in the show to go pick out a feast guest. In the first few rows, people are wearing ponchos, because the show is just a mess. It's just a playground for you, and it can be messy, so we want to make sure the audience is covered and protected. So, I step out there, and I'm having, it's probably show number 2,474, just a little less committed to and present than 2,473, I don't know, when suddenly, bing, chong, bong, I see the shiny, happy person sitting over in the poncho section. She literally just pulls me in on her vortex, like, wow. I can't remember the last time that I saw someone who was so willing, so available, just so open. And I was like, "Okay, fine, you're the feast guest. Make my job easy. Great." So, now I'm going out to the audience to have a little more fun. 

 

The other two blue men come up to me and they tell me it's time for us, for you, to let us know who the feast guest is. This is all non-verbal. And I say, "Well, check it out. Shiny, happy person right here." They're like, "Great. Shiny, happy person. Bring her on up." So, these two guys run up onto the stage. The band kicks into their theme that's going to start our procession up the aisle to the stage. [imitates music] I reach down, I grab her hand, and she's just beaming at me.

 

She just clings onto my arm. She leans into me. She's so excited, she has no idea what to expect. I reach down, and I pull off her poncho, and she has one arm, [audience aww] which is not a big deal, right? Even though in this piece we're going to be grabbing things and manipulating them and moving them and opening them, and oh, God, we're going to be up there making fun with her, not of her. And now, I'm beginning to panic, and I look up on stage and the other two blue men are staring down at me in horror, going, "What did you do?" "I don't know. [audience laughter] I don't know." And now I'm running the entire piece frantically through my mind, because I know it forwards and backwards, and I am going to accommodate it for her. I am going to make--

 

So, I could probably skip that part. Or, again, instead of her doing that, or actually, we'll just leave that part out. Actually, he probably doesn't have to do that for her, you can probably just skip that part and leave that part out. Actually, if we're going to skip that part and skip that part, why don't we just put it back down, just skip the whole thing? [audience laughter] At this point of the show, we're supposed to be sort of afraid that we're bringing someone, an audience member, into our space for the first time, and we are terrified. [audience laughter] We are sitting behind the table in a row, and our knees are knocking together, and there is this awkward silence coming from the audience that I have never experienced before. 

 

But she is loving it. She is having the time of her life. So, I bring out the first object, which is this electric candle, and I put it on the table, and it has a little switch on it. She leans over and switches it on. That's okay, we're good, pretty good there. Next blue man next to me, he pulls out a desk lamp, and he puts it on, and he stretches it out, and she reaches over to click it. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. The switch doesn't go on. And what is about to unfold in my brain, and I'm trying to communicate with him, screaming, going, "Noooo. [unintelligible 00:07:56]” [audience laughter] 

 

Because the joke of the piece is it's attached to a clapper light. So, he goes [audience aww] and pops the light on, [audience laughter] which usually elicits laughter from the audience, but not this time. Dead silence. Because it was like he was saying, "Well, if you had two hands, you could turn on the light." [audience laughter] Oh, dear God, help us. Last blue man brings out a box of Twinkies for us to dine on. For those of you who've seen the show, that'll make sense. He passes them out. And the Twinkie for the blue man is, it's a very curious object. The way it's shaped and sculpted, the way the light hits it and the way it sort of reflects off its golden, cakey shell. 

 

And if this is something that's meant to be consumed, why would you put it in this package? Is there an opening to this package, and how would you open it? This is something that we play with. Oh my God, how is she going to open this package? But I look over, without missing a beat, she's already taken the Twinkie, taken the package, put it under her, what's left of her arm right here, and just goes, pops it open, puts it on her plate. [audience laughter] With such speed and dexterity, I had to see it again. So, I hand her mine, [audience laughter] she goes, pops it open, puts it on my plate. I look at the other two guys, who are still struggling with theirs. I pick it up, and I'm like, "Check it out." [audience laughter] They are completely blown away. They reach out, he gives his to hers, and she pops it open. He gets it, pops it open, and now we're good. [audience laughter]

 

And that thing that is starting to happen, that can only happen in a live performance, where the event on stage is starting to mirror what's happening with the audience's experience. It exists somewhere in between and creates this biofeedback loop of event and experience and experience and event and event and experience and experience and event. And now, we are with the audience and they are with us. And the two blue men beside me reach down and pick up their forks because they're going to dig into this Twinkie, and that's when I feel her shut down beside me. I literally feel her heart-light go out. I look out of the corner of my eye, and she's staring down at the knife and the fork, and I see panic in her eyes.

 

I reach over, and I just grab my fork, and I just gesture to her, “Just the fork, right?” She just beams back at me and says, "Yeah, that's all we need." And the two other blue men follow suit, "Yeah, exactly what-- Yeah, what he said." [audience laughter] We dig in, and it's all good. I'm feeding her, she's feeding me, we're all cross-feeding each other. It's a big flirt-fest. The piece just crescendos and explodes in this huge celebration. The audience bursts into this enormous applause, for her, really, because she was beautiful, she was amazing, and she was the catalyst for this whole thing to happen. She brought that element back that I had completely forgotten about. She brought this innocence, this childlike innocence, that ability to remain present and be honest and fearless and not try to manufacture anything again. 

 

We send her back into the audience, and they've completely changed. The space has completely changed. Tiny Astor Place Theatre has become as large and as opulent as the Bolshoi. We go back behind our PVC-pipe instruments to play our first piece of music. Each tone that we're paddling out is just echoing into the darkness, like launching a flare into a cavernous cave. I just start to cry. I look over at the other two guys, and they are crying, because we're just raw and exhausted. But even more so, we're exhilarated that we made it through this experience together. Afterwards, I went up and met up with her in the lobby. I thanked her for being such an amazing participant in the show and for making it such an incredible experience for everyone involved, and for making the show, for me, alive again. Thank you.