Abhishek Shah - Love at Third Sight

 

Wow. [audience laughter] Hello, everyone. Couple of years back, I went to India to visit my family. And during that time, I remember I went to this nightclub and I saw this beautiful girl. I was looking at her and I kept looking at her and then she looked somewhere else and then she looked at me and then I looked somewhere else and then we both looked at each other and we fell in love at the third sight. [audience laughter] 

 

A year later, we were dating. We had now decided that we wanted to get married. But see, our relationship was modern in a sense that it was a love marriage, but it was still traditional in a sense that we wanted to get the blessings of our parents and approvals of our parents. Otherwise, we had decided that we will not get married.

 

So, first, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My parents loved her and she loved my parents. It was amazing. Now, it was my turn to meet her parents. I did not know how this was going to go, because my girlfriend had warned me that her dad's personality is exactly opposite as mine. I was a little bit concerned. I was like, “I don’t know, I have to create this good first impression in order to make sure that he likes me.” 

 

So, the next day they invited me over for the dinner at my girlfriend's house. I was like, “You know what? I am going to create a very good first impression.” But I reached at their house, like two hours late, because there was a lot of traffic. When I reached there, he was hardly talking to me. So, I was trying to diffuse the tension. So, I tried to do like a fist bump. [audience laughter] But he didn’t react. So, I just did a fist bump by myself. [audience laughter] 

 

Everything that night I tried to do, it just did not work. So, I was like, “You know what? I have to keep trying in order to impress their parents.” Like, the next day I told my girlfriend to switch off the internet, and then I went to her house and I fixed the internet. [audience laughter] It didn’t work out. [audience laughter] Her dad realized that all I did was put the adapter back in the socket. So, I was like, “I will keep trying.”: Like the next day, I know that her girlfriend likes to go for running every morning, like for health reasons. So, I just joined just to do an informal conversation.

 

I would not try to crack a joke. I was like, "Oh, even you go for running every day? Even I go for running every day to the restroom, [audience laughter] when I eat a lot of spicy food.” He did not like the joke. He did not. So, everything I kept trying, it kept getting worse and worse. I was like, “I need to do something very quick,” because I had to come back to the United States and I was getting a little desperate. So, at that time I realized there was this one friend of mine who had helped someone in a similar situation. So, I called him. I was like, "I need your help. Can you help me?" 

 

Now, this friend of mine, he was a big Bollywood fan. Everything he would do is over the top, nonsense, would not even make sense. Like, he would do everything over the top. So, I called him. I was like, "Let's meet." He met me. I was like, “What can I do? Can you help me?” And he was like, "Bro, I got this. Bro, I got this. [audience laughter] This is what we are going to do, okay? You meet your girlfriend with her parents, and then I will come and snatch the purse of your girlfriend, [audience laughter] and then I will run and you follow me and then you bring the purse back and her parents would think you are the hero." I am like, “What? [audience laughter] That is a terrible plan.” He was like, "Bro, it is 100% guaranteed success. [audience laughter] If you follow this plan, you will be good for rest of your life." I was like, “I don’t know. I was not very sure with the whole plan.” 

 

But then, I told my girlfriend and she was like, "Really? You are going to impress my parents with fake mugging?" [audience laughter] I was like, “Yes, that’s exactly how this is going to work out.” [audience laughter] So, we both were not sure whether this would work or not. But we also knew that we were running out of ideas to impress her dad. So, I was like, “We will go ahead with the plan.” 

 

So, we decided-- The next day, it was her mom's birthday. They go to a fixed restaurant, like this very beautiful restaurant every year. And I was like, “That is the restaurant where we will execute our plan.” So, I told my Bollywood friend that this is the restaurant. This is the table. There is a table in the corner. You come there and you do your thing. And be there at 08:00 PM. 

 

So, the day comes. Next day, I reach to a restaurant two hours before. I'm nervous. I'm like a nervous wreck. I'm sweating. I have like thousands of thoughts like, “What if this doesn't work, what would happen if it works?” Like, “What's going on?” I was just very nervous. I was pacing back and forth. It was like then 07;00 PM, 07:15, 07:30. As the time was coming close to 08:00 PM, I was trying to call my Bollywood friend just to make sure that the plan is still on. But he wasn't responding. Like, his phone was going directly to voice message. He wasn't responding to my text messages. So, I was like, I was just getting more and more nervous. And then, my girlfriend and her parents came and we sat down for the dinner. 

 

It was almost like half an hour, like 08:30, and I still didn't hear anything from my friend. So, I was like, “You know what? Maybe he just backed out of the plan. Maybe he doesn't want to do this anymore.” And just around 08:30, I see a stranger person walking towards our table. He snatches the purse and he starts running. [audience laughter] I'm like, “Who is that guy? [audience laughter] He wasn't even part of our plan. [audience laughter] What is--" I'm confused, my girlfriend is confused and it's all happening so fast. I don't know what to do. So, I just stood up and started running after that stranger. He just disappeared. He dropped the purse somewhere in the corner. So, I took the purse, I came back to her table and I told her parents I took care of him. [audience laughter]

 

At that time, like her girlfriend's parents, dad was so happy and relieved to see that I was okay. And for the first time, I saw him smiling. I remember I wasn't even eating a dessert, but it tasted like a sweet million bucks. [audience laughter] I was like, “You know what? This wasn't part of our plan, but it just worked out in our favor.” So, I was very happy. Just when we were about to finish our dinner, [audience laughter] my Bollywood friend shows up. And now, I don't know what to do. I cannot say anything. So, I'm trying to express with my eyes, like, “Don't do anything. I've already proved that I'm a man.” [audience laughter] But my Bollywood friend, he has an IQ of minus infinity. [audience laughter] So, he just ignores the whole telepathy thing [audience laughter] and just goes and grabs the purse. 

 

But before I could do anything, my girlfriend's father jumped on him [audience laughter] and he started punching him. And just at that time, this is what my friend says. “Abhishek, help me.” [audience laughter] I'm like, “I don't know you.” [audience laughter] And then, he goes on. He's like, “Oh, I was late. My Phone was switch off. So, I send one of my other friend to take care of this thing.” I'm like, “What?” What a great time to bring that up. [audience laughter] 

 

We were just disappointed. I was extremely disappointed, my girlfriend was extremely disappointed. Just when I reached home, I was thinking, where did I go wrong? [audience laughter] Everything was a mess, everyone was disappointed and I was just thinking that what I did wasn't very good. So, I just opened my laptop and I sent her dad an email that “Whatever I did today, I'm extremely sorry. I know it's not the right thing, but my intention was not bad. If there's any person whom I'll ever get married to, it would be your daughter and this is 100% honest here.” And then, I closed my laptop. I was just awake the whole night. I couldn't sleep and there was nothing from their side. 

 

And then, the next day, I got a call from her dad. He told me to bring me and my family, all. They invited us over the lunch. We went to their place and I was like, “I don't know how this is going to work out.” And then, her dad told me that, “It's not that you are a bad person. We know you are a good person. But to send my daughter all the way to a new country, to move all the way to a new country is an extremely huge decision for us. But if she does move, then it would be only with you.” And then, I tried to do like a fist bump, [audience laughter] and this time, he did give me a fist bump now here. Thank you.