Lucy Danser - Lift Lessons

 

 

Okay. So, this time last year, my boyfriend got a job for seven months in New York City. Mainly because the job came with a free apartment, I decided to go with him. So, he went out ahead of me. The day before I was due to join him, I called to ask for our address. He told me that we were going to be living in Midtown Manhattan on the 44th floor of an apartment building with a view of Central Park and the Hudson River. 

 

Now, I know that this is an excellent address, but when he told me that, all I felt was absolute sheer terror. The reason for that, and keep in mind that my boyfriend knew this, is that I am scared of lifts. When I say scared, I mean I was a 29-year-old woman who had never used a lift unaccompanied. I was terrified of lifts. And now, I was going to live on the 44th floor. [chuckles] 

 

So, I flew out to New York. I can't say initially it was terrible, although I was uncomfortable. New York is a hard place to have a terrible time in. I saw Broadway shows, and I ate amazing food and I drank incredible cocktails. So, put it this way. On Instagram, everyone was very impressed with me. [audience laughter] But the truth was, I had absolutely zero independence, so that I didn't have to enter or leave the apartment building without my boyfriend, I worked entirely to his schedule.

 

So, I didn't make any plans, I didn't accept any invitations and I could never just pop home when I felt like it. So, here I was in my dream city. And very soon, I was just exhausted and I was miserable. Just when I was about to give up, as it so happens so often in my life, my parents appeared on the scene. My parents aren't very easy to describe. I'm not going to try too hard, because my dad is here tonight. [audience laughter] But suffice to say, they are kind and loving and caring, and maybe a little bit over-involved in my life, [audience laughter] which is quite frustrating. 

 

But it does mean that when I called my mom and I told her about all the amazing things I was doing and seeing and all the people I was meeting, what she actually heard is, “I am desperately trying to fill every second of my day, because I'm too scared to go home.” And to her, this was totally unacceptable. My parents were actually planning to come and visit pretty soon. My mom promised/threatened that by the time they left, I would be using this lift like a champ. [audience laughter] 

 

Sure enough, a few days after their arrival, I awoke to quite an aggressive banging outside my apartment door. I went outside, and my mom and my dad were there facing the bank of lifts, and they dragged me into the middle of them and they said, “This is day one of the lift tests. And the first test is you will go one floor in a lift alone.” I was immediately terrified. And so, first of all, my mom and me stayed there, and my dad got in the lift by himself and he went up and down a few times. And all the time, he was screaming at the top of his voice. [audience laughter] I believe this was supposed to show me that if something did go wrong in a lift, someone would eventually hear you. [audience laughter] 

 

But then, I had to get in with him. We went up and down a few floors together, and then we were listening out for any weird noises or lights or buzzes or whatever, and so I could just get used to it. And then, we got off together on the 43rd floor. My job was just to go up one flight by myself to my mum, who was waiting there. I pressed the lift button, and it came and the doors opened, and I did what I have done countless times before, and I just let the lift go. I did that about three, four, five more times. I said to my dad, “Please.” I was crying and I was shaking and I was like, “Please, I can't do this.” Just take me straight back up to my mom and I just want to go home.” And he was like, “No. No, no, we're going to wait as long as it takes. But hopefully, it won't take too long because it is nearly lunchtime.” [audience laughter] 

 

Finally, I realized I had no choice. So, I got in the lift, I pressed the button for the 44th floor, and I screwed my eyes shut for the entire two-second journey. The doors opened. My mum was standing there with her arms outstretched. I ran into them and she grabbed me and twirled me around and tried to push me straight back into the lift, [audience laughter] but I moved out really quickly, because I had done it. I had done test day one. I had done one floor and I was victorious.

 

They came back the next day and it was two floors and three floors. A few days later they had to go home, but they called every day to check I was still doing it. Finally, I did all 44 floors. Suddenly, I was living that life in New York that I'd always wanted to live. I started taking acting classes, I made some friends. And then, one day, I came back to the apartment alone, earlier than I ever had done before and I realized that from our window, you could see the sun setting over the Hudson River. And it was beautiful. I would never have known that was even there if I hadn't learned how to use a lift. 

 

Sometimes when I was doing really cool things or meeting nice people in New York, I stopped and I felt quite guilty that for my parents’ entire trip to New York. [audience laughter] They mostly just saw the inside of my building’s lift. But I guess that there are some tests that you can't do by yourself, and maybe it's okay to be a little over-involved sometimes.