Nestor Gomez - Labor of Love

 

I heard the phone ringing. When I look at it, I realized that it was my ex-wife that was calling me. That was very strange, because my wife and I really didn't talk to each other. I only talked to her over the weekends when I had to pick up my 11-year-old son and my 12-year-old daughter. And this wasn't the weekend. This was the weekday. So, she's probably calling me for some bad news. I answered the phone and immediately she started to go off. "Yes, yes, I'm listening to you.” “Something about our son.” Yes.” “He got something on the mail, a little doll, a package.” “Yeah, that was last week, okay?” “$15, okay?” “Okay.” “And today, you look at your credit card balance.” “Oh, he used your credit card.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to him.” “No, no, no. Not right now. Let me think about this, okay? I'll call you back."

 

So, my son had taken the credit card and paid with it for some doll that he bought. I knew that I had to do something about it. But what should I do? I knew what my father would have done. My father would have called me, grabbed the belt, and then he would whoop my ass. [audience chuckles] And because of that, I was very lenient with my son and with my daughter. Whenever I had to tell them something, I didn't scream at them. I used to go like, "Okay, just don't do that anymore." [audience chuckles] But I knew that in this occasion I had to find a balance between the kind of discipline that my father gave me and the discipline I was giving my kids. So, I thought about it for a moment, and then I called my ex-wife and I say, "I'm going to pick them up this weekend. I'll talk to him then." 

 

So, that weekend, I drove over to my ex-wife's house and I pick up my kids. But instead of taking them to the park, or to the amusement park, or to the house, so we could watch some movies, I took them to an apartment that a friend of mine had that needed to have the floor fixed. We needed to take the floor out and we needed to put new flooring on it. So, I told my son, "You know why I'm bringing you here?" he’s like, "Is it because of the $15?" "Exactly. You need to learn that your mother works really hard for her money, and you can't just go about spending her money on things that you want to buy. You need to learn to respect that." 

 

And then, my daughter goes, “And why am I here?" [audience laughter] And I said, "Well, because sometimes the actions that we take have repercussions on those around us, just like your brother's actions have repercussions on you now. And that's a lesson that you need to learn." She didn't like my explanation, [audience laughter] but she went ahead with it anyway. So, we spent the first half of the day on this apartment that had no heating, it was the middle of the winter. On our knees, scraping the floors, making sure we took every single square of the floor out. And then, we took every nail and every piece of garbage and we polished the floor. And then, we spent the other half of the day putting the new floor on.

 

By the end of the day, we're exhausted. We're cold, we're hungry. It was a long day, but we were done. And then, I called my friend, so he could come over and look at the floor. He came over, he looked at the floor, he's like, "Okay." He gave me that $100 that he was going to pay me, and then I took my kids out to the car. But before we went into the car, I called my daughter, and I gave her a $20 bill. And at first, I thought, it's only $20. Maybe it's not enough. But she got so happy that I thought maybe I gave her too much. [audience laughter] 

 

And then, I called my son. And before I gave him the $20 bill, he goes, "Yeah, I know. That money, so I could pay my mother back." I'm like, "Exactly. You're learning." And he goes, "But I still have $5 left, right?" I said, "Yeah, you do." So, he asked me to drive him to the store, so he could buy something. I'm like, "Okay." So, we drove to the store, and my daughter and I, we stayed in a car while my son went into the store. He bought something, and he came back into the car. I was too tired to care, and I dropped them back to the house, and then I say goodbye and I drove to my house.

 

But as soon as I got to my house, the phone started ringing again. And I answered the phone. It was my ex-wife. She's like, "Your son came over and he paid me the $15." And she started to cry. So, I started to feel bad about her, and I said, "You know what? Don't worry about it. This is what happened. They were working in the house and in this apartment and we're cleaning the floor and I gave him $20. But don't worry, he has $5 left to spend on him, and he bought something." And she's like, "Yes, I know. He bought a greeting card that says, 'I'm sorry, Mom.'" [audience aw] Then it was my turn to start crying. [audience chuckles] For a while, I was silent. I didn't know what to say. And then, my ex-wife said, "You know, you and I, we didn't really get along very well, but you're a damn good parent to your kids." That day, I started to get the balance on how to raise my kids, and I also started to get the balance on the relationship with my ex-wife. Thank you.