Bill Krieger - Just a Little Bit

 

So, I remember reading somewhere that routines are good for children. They help them develop, they're good for their self-esteem, and they can help them through troubling times. I would have to agree with that. But I think some of the best routines are the ones that we find by accident. And that's the way it is with me and my two daughters, McKenna, my oldest, Caroline, my youngest. 

 

You see, every night since they've been very little, I tuck them in bed before I go to bed myself. And the way it works is I go to my oldest daughter McKenna's room, and I give her a kiss on the forehead, and I give her a nice tight hug, and I tuck her in and I tell her that I love her and that I'll see her in the morning. And then, I close her door, and I go across the hallway to my youngest daughter's room, Caroline, and I give her a kiss on the forehead, and I give her a big hug and I tell her that I love her. She looks at me and says, “I love you more.” And I say, “No, you don't. I love you more.” And she says, “You're right, Dad, you do.” [audience laughter] And then, I say, “Well, I'll see you in the morning.” And she says, “Not if I see you first.” [audience laughter] 

 

I don't know if you're seeing a theme here. She's kind of a smart ass. [audience laughter] As I leave her room and close her door, she'll always say, “Close the door just a little bit,” and she'll laugh. I'll pop my head back in and say, “Don't tell me how to close the door. I know what I'm doing. I know how to close the door just a little bit.” We have a good laugh and I go off to bed. And so, that is our routine. 

 

And in the summer of 2006, I was called to active duty to serve in Iraq. I had about two months to get everyone ready for this. When I say get everyone ready, I was the company commander, so I had that responsibility of making sure everyone had the equipment they needed, and the training they needed, and that their families would be taken care of while we were gone, and the days were long, sometimes 20 hours. 

 

And every night at 9 o’clock, I had to go to this meeting. And so, I would get in my car, and I would drive 30 minutes to this meeting, and I would get out of my car, and go to the building, and climb up to the second floor where I would tuck my children in at night, because that was the most important thing I had to do every night to maybe make sure they were shielded from some of the reality that we were about to face as a family. 

 

I remember the night before I left for Iraq. I went to my oldest daughter McKenna's room, and I kissed her on the forehead, and I gave her an extra tight squeeze, and I told her I loved her, and that I would see her in the morning. And I closed her door, and I went across the hall to Caroline's room, and I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and I told her that I loved her. She just stared at me. And then, I said, “I'll see you in the morning.” She just stared at me. As I walked out of her room and began to close her door, she didn't say anything. 

 

And so, I turned around and I said, “Honey, is everything okay?” And she said, “Yeah, Daddy, everything's okay.” I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that she was staring at me. And I said, “Well, I get it, you're staring at me, but why are you doing that?” [audience chuckles] She said, “Because, Daddy, I want to burn you into my brain, so that if you don't come home, I won't forget what you look like.” It was all I could do to hold it together in that room, and give her another kiss, and walk out into the hallway. 

 

You see, for all the parenting and all the shielding and all the routines that we had, she got it. That little six-year-old blonde headed girl got it, and she knew what we were facing as a family. The next day we got up very early in the morning, and we had a breakfast together, and we hugged, and we kissed, and we laughed, and we cried, and I walked out that front door and began my journey, which would be about 18 months. 18 months away from my family, 18 months of no hugs, no kisses, 18 months of not tucking anyone into bed. Because I will tell you from experience, soldiers do not like to be tucked into bed. [audience laughter] We don't like it. 

 

And in the fall of 2007, I returned home. I returned home to my family, and I returned home to my routine of tucking my children in before I went to bed. I can tell you that I learned a lot from these experiences. I learned that routines are very important for children. It gives them stability, it helps them through tough times, but they're also important for us adults. I can tell you one thing that I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, and that's how to close the door just a little bit.