Falen Johnson - Invisible Toronto

 

So, a few years ago, I heard this story that Graham Greene told. Now, I should specify that I mean Graham Greene, the First Nations actor, not Graham Greene, the English novelist. [audience chuckles] If you don't know who Graham Greene is, he was in a bunch of 1990s blockbusters, movies. He was in Dances with Wolves. He was in Die Hard 3 and my personal favorite, Thunder Heart. [audience applause] 

 

So, Graham has this story about one of his first acting gigs, and it was here in Toronto. And so, he's cast in this play. And in this play, Graham has to enter from outside the theater. He has to enter from the alleyway. And so, one night, he's getting ready to make his entrance. He's listening for his cue line, when a cop cruiser goes by, sees him standing there.

 

Now, the cops assume that he's just some First Nations guy loitering in the alley, and they say, "Hey, what are you doing?" And he says, "Well, I'm in this play and I'm waiting for my cue." [audience laughter] And the cops say, "Yeah, right, buddy, don't go anywhere." But at that moment, Graham hears his cue line, and he runs on the stage, pursued by the two policemen, [audience laughter] who at that moment realized that he was in fact in a play, [audience laughter] and so were they. [audience laughter] 

 

So, I've always really liked this story because I think it says something about the visibility of First Nations people and Indigenous people in the city. There is this idea that they are unseen unless they're presumed guilty. So, I'm First Nations. I am Mohawk and Tuscarora from Six Nations Reserve, which is about an hour and a half outside the city. And to look at me, a lot of people would not guess that I am. And that can be hard, because when I walk through the city, I'm just some white chick. And when I'm on the reserve, it's "Who the hell is that white chick?" [audience laughter] 

 

It hurts, because I'm really proud of who I am and where I come from and my family. And so, I work in theatre. And a few years ago, I was approached by SummerWorks Theatre Festival, which is a festival here in town. And they asked me, they said, "Hey, do you want to create a walking tour?" And I was like, "What does that mean exactly?" And they were like, "Well, we want to do walking tours for the festival this year, and we want you to make one. So, it's got to be about an hour long, and it has to be around our festival hub, which is the main venue for the festival. It can be about whatever you want." And so, I thought about it. 

 

The thing is, the festival hub was really close to the intersection of Queen and Spadina. If you're not familiar with that area, it can be kind of rough. There's a large homeless population there, and a lot of the people who live there are First Nations. So, I thought about myself, my pink self, walking through that area, giving a tour, and it made me a little bit uncomfortable. But then, I thought, you know what, maybe this is a good opportunity for me to really address my white complex to get over some stuff and deal with it. And also, the Graham Greene story had happened near that intersection. So, I thought, okay, well, at least I have that. Can I always rely on that? So, I said yes. 

 

So, I put the tour together and I decided to call it Invisible Toronto. I talk about sort of racism in the city, I talk about wooden Indians and Halloween costumes and sports team mascots and how racism has become so embedded in our culture that we don't see it anymore, I talk about the history of the city pre-paper, the Indigenous history of the city. I talk about a drop-in center that's in the area where they offer services for some of the homeless population, things like internet and telephone and a fridge to store food. I talk about colonization and genocide in a really entertaining way. [audience laughter] And then, I get to tell my Graham Greene story. 

 

So, I do the tour. It's going well, people seem to like it. I'm on my second to last tour of the series, and I get ready to go out, and I look at the group of people that I'm going to be guiding that day. I see there's a couple of artistic directors in the audience. I'm like, “That's good.” And there's the usual suspects, these older women who look like young grandmothers who are wearing floral dresses and sun hats and lots of sunscreen and tote bags with cats on it. [audience laughter] And there's the artistic types, theater types, those kinds of folks. There's also always one older white man who fancies himself a historian. He's there to make sure that I am not screwing this up. [audience laughter]

 

And so, we set out on the tour, and I'm talking about it, and everyone seems to like it, and it seems to be going really, really well. And I'm like, “Good, good, this is going good.” Until about the midpoint of the tour, where a really drunk, really rowdy, really bloody guy decides to join us. And so, I'm struggling here, because I can see it's making people uncomfortable that this guy is standing there, but also this whole thesis. My thesis of this tour is to make the invisible seen, to make people have to see this kind of thing. So, I'm like, “Okay, what do I do here?”

 

And so, I hand him a little flyer that explains what the tour is and what we're doing. [audience laughter] He takes it and he reads it and seems to like it. And so, he comes along. We get to the Graham Greene stop. He loves the story. Like, he is laughing harder and longer than anyone else. [audience laughter] It is the funniest thing that he has ever heard in his entire life. But people on the tour are getting really uncomfortable here. They look afraid. And to be honest, I'm a little bit afraid of him. He is covered in blood. [audience chuckles] So, I tell him, I'm like, "Okay, listen, you can come, but you have to be quiet, all right?" And he goes, "Okay, okay." And so, we continue on. 

 

We get to the stop where I talk about the drop-in center and the services they offer. And I say, "Phone and internet." And he screams, "Lockers, lockers, lockers." And I say, "Yes, they have lockers," which is a really important thing If you're living without a place, without a home, having a safe spot to keep your stuff is really, really valuable. So, I know that this guy probably has a locker here, and I know that he probably has his stuff in there. And so, we continue on, and we get to the question-and-answer stop. 

 

And I say, "Does anyone have questions?" He immediately shoots his hand up in the air and he says, "Hey, so, my people are Spanish, and we did a lot of terrible things to your people. What do I do about that?" [audience laughter] I am rendered speechless, [audience laughter] because it is exactly the kind of thing that I wanted people to take away from this experience. [audience laughter] This is the question that I wanted people to ask me. I just didn't think it was going to come from someone like him.

 

And I'm also a little bit speechless, because the entire time that this guy was on the tour, I thought he was First Nations. And that's a little uncomfortable for me. And so, once I get my words back, I say, "Well, by doing things like this, by coming on tours like this, and by questioning history, and by asking beautiful, simple questions like the one that you just asked me." He nods his head, and he's satisfied with my answer. And so, we start to walk back to the Festival Hub for the end of the tour. 

 

We're walking down the street, and I see someone coming towards us. He's coming pretty quickly. He is buff, and he is shirtless, and he is First Nations. I am sure of it this time. [audience chuckles] He walks directly up to our bloody Spanish friend, and he says, "You. Hey, you. You touch my hair again, I will kick your ass like I did yesterday. I will kick your ass." And the Spanish man shrinks. He becomes so tiny, and it is heartbreaking to witness. And so, I know I've got to do something, because, number one, I'm in charge here. [audience chuckles] And number two, I owe this guy. I owe him something now. 

 

So, I slide in between the two men, and I look up at the really buff, shirtless First Nations guy, and I say, "Hey, man, you don't want to do this," and then I brace myself, and then the craziest thing happens. I hear, "Leave him alone, and get out of here, and don't you touch him." I look over, and I see the tour group of young grandmothers with cat tote bags [audience chuckles] and skeptical white guys. They're all yelling at this young First Nations guy to leave our bloody Spanish friend alone. [audience laughter] I am shocked. And the Spanish guy is shocked. [audience chuckles] But by far the most shocked person is the shirtless First Nations guy. [audience laughter]

 

Because somehow, in 24 hours, this Spanish man that he kicked the snot out of a night ago has somehow gathered a crew. [audience laughter] We love theater, [audience laughter] and we will take him out. [audience laughter] And so, the First Nations guy takes a step back, refocuses on our bloody Spanish friend, he says, "All right, man, I'm going to leave you alone. You want to know why? Because you're an elder." And again, I'm like, “What?” [audience laughter] In my cultures, elders are really revered. People, they're the pillars of our communities, and so for this young First Nations guy to give that honor to someone that he had just beaten up the night before was really complex. [audience laughter] And the First Nations guy with that just takes off. 

 

So, we get back to the Festival Hub, and we're all feeling pretty tough. [audience laughter] It's been a really good tour. [audience laughter] People come up to me and they shake my hand and they say how great it was. It's good. And the last person to come up to me is my bloody Spanish friend. He shakes my hand and he says, “Thank you, I learned a lot,” and he turns and walks away. And so, when I walk through the city now, I definitely still feel pretty invisible as a First Nations person. But when I walk by Queen and Bathurst, I don't feel as scared as I used to. I've never seen my bloody Spanish friend again, but I do hope wherever he is, that he has a locker and that his stuff is safe. Thanks.