Daryl McCormack - I Grew Up Here

 

So, last October, I got a call from my mum. I was in college, and I answered the phone. And she says, “Daryl, have you seen the comments made about you?” And I said, “No, mum.” She sounded quite worried. And I said, “Relax, it's okay.” She goes, “If you don't and you haven't seen them, please don't look at them.” And I said, “I'll be fine, mum. Don't worry, I'll be grand.” 

 

A few weeks prior to this, I had done my first professional acting job. I was to do a two-to-three-minute video of me urging young people of Ireland to come out and vote for the referendum and the campaign. It was two, three minutes, me speaking English and Irish. And I was really proud of it. When my mom was talking about, there's a Facebook thread of a picture of me, and it was a comment section, and it was up for people to discuss whether to vote yes or no. Unfortunately, a few people, very small amount of people, made some comments about my skin color and judging my nationality, basically. 

 

I didn't really feel affected. For some strange reason, I felt I wasn't that affected. It didn't make me feel that bad. I felt mostly embarrassed for the people that came up to me being like, “I'm very sorry about that. I heard what happened,” and I was like, “Well, it's okay.” The truth was my mom felt a bit more affected than I was, because she spent her whole life trying to get me to avoid this kind of thing, where people would make comments about my appearance. She grew up in Nenagh, and left when she was 21, and she met my dad in California. She became a nanny over there for a summer. He was only about 21 as well. He was a soldier in the American Army. They had their summer romance, and she became pregnant. She got very scared and came back to Ireland like the scared little girl she was, and she gave birth. 

 

So, I grew up in Nenagh. I met my dad twice. I don't really know him that much, but for a man I've met twice, he has a massive effect on my life and an influence on my life just because of his color. I remember growing up in Nenagh, and a lot of from what I remember was young kids my same age looking at me and staring at me. It would be really prolonged stares. [audience laughter] I used to ask my mum, “Mum, why are these other kids staring at me?” She'd always come out with the answer, “It's because you're so handsome.” [audience laughter] And part of me, I didn't believe it fully. [audience laughter] But I got to an age where I was getting too older for she could keep saying that. 

 

I remember the first time I actually encountered racism. One of the first times I remember I was playing soccer in my local state named [unintelligible 00:32:51] and I was playing with my cousins. There was another guy who was also part of the estate, but a different section. He came out and played with us. I was only about 11, and we were playing soccer, and I made a bad challenge. I clipped his ankle and he turned around to me and said, “Fuck off, you black bastard.” And being 11, I think he was around 20, I was obviously taken back by it. 

 

I went home to my mum and I told my mum, “This guy called me a black bastard.” And she goes, “Well, Daryl, you're going to have to find a time where you can defend yourself, you know?” I go, “But this guy was a lot older than me.” So, she got up and she goes, “Okay, where does he live?” [audience laughter] So, me, my uncle, and my mum went over to this guy's house. This was at 11 o'clock. She knocks on the door, and the guy's dad comes out, and my mum goes, “Where's your son? I'd like to have a word with him.” He gets his son, and his son comes out, and my mama goes, “I would like you now to apologize to my son for what you called him earlier.” And he apologized. And then, my mum said, “I just want you to know that my son will grow up to be a bigger man than your son will ever be.” 

 

I just remember walking away from the house, absolutely chuffed, just being like, “Go, mum.” [audience laughter] So, we walked home. I just felt very good about it. About two years later, it's another time where I experienced a bit of racial abuse. I was walking through an estate called Cormac Drive. Cormac Drive was known to be a bit of a rough estate. I used to walk through and used to be a particular kid called Stephen. He used to shout things at me. Sometimes they were funny, sometimes they were like, “Why don't you go back to chocolate town?” [audience laughter] And I'm like, “You can do a bit better than that Stephen. Come on.” [audience laughter] 

 

But he would continually shout things at me. It made me confused, because I was like, “Well, I feel the exact same as anyone else in this town. I grew up here. I played hurling.” It continued for quite a while. A few weeks went by, and one particular time I was walking to school, and I was coming up by the cinema and he came behind me, and he was doing the same thing again. I remembered the way my mum walked up to that door of your man's house and gave out to him. So, I just stopped, and I looked to the ground to try and find something. All I could see was a chestnut. [audience laughter] 

 

So, I picked up the chestnut and I turned back around, I looked at him and I roared, “Fuck off,” and I threw the chestnut at him. [audience laughter] The best thing is I missed. [audience laughter] I didn't hit him. He laughed at me, and I walked towards school. About two days later, who do I bump into as I'm crossing the road, but Stephen? He's crossing this way and I'm crossing that way. I'm waiting here and I'm like, “I'm now about to get my head punched in.” I'm not a fighter at all. I was reared by two mothers, my mum and my grandmother. So, no means streaking me. I can talk for Ireland. I can talk my way out of any situation. [audience chuckles] But this time, I felt like I was just going to have to suck it up. 

 

He came over to me and he just put out his hand and he said, “I'm very sorry about what I said the other day.” I was awkward, because I was like, “I don't expect this.” I'm still waiting for a punch to come up my face. But he just said, “I'm sorry.” And I said, “It's all right.” Don't get me wrong. Growing up in Nenagh, I've had a great childhood. It wasn't all doom and gloom, apart from these two situations. I played hurling with Nenagh Éire Óg, my local hurling club. I felt like I was some Seán Óg Ó hAilpín. [audience laughter] 

 

I remember when I was in school, I got elected for the student president. And at the time, Barack Obama was elected the first black president. [audience laughter] Everyone was like, “Daryl, you're the first black president of Nenagh CBS.” [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

But I was lucky, because my mum was always there, as well as enjoying being different and standing out. There was a flip side, and my mum protected me from that flip side. Although she's a Facebook warrior, always messaged me, I'm only now starting to realize how grateful I am for that. She gave me the space to allow me to just be myself and grow as a person, no matter what color, and I suppose I just want to say, “Thank you, mum.”