Safia Ibrahim - Grounded

 

I remember when I was six years old, I would wake up every morning and crawl out of bed and go to the bathroom to comb my hair and brush my teeth. I would then crawl to the front steps of my grandmother's house, and watch my peers as they walked to school with a thermos in hand and a backpack on their backs. I wanted to go to school, too, but I contracted polio at the age of one, and I was left out of school. 

 

One day, I saw two girls playing a childhood game of hopscotch. I wanted to play, so I crawled up to them and said, "May I please join you?" One of them looked at me with a laugh and said, "How are you going to hop when you cannot even stand?" Not even knowing what I was doing, I immediately grabbed that girl by the leg and dragged her down to my level. [audience laughter] Next thing I knew, I was pulling punches while another girl was pulling my hair. [audience chuckles] 

 

Luckily, my aunt was visiting, and she saw what was happening, and plucked me out of the dust and threw me over her shoulder. She took me back to my grandmother's house. My grandmother, when she opened the door, she said, "What does she do now?" Because back then, I was known as a rebel. [audience chuckles] That was the day my grandmother decided that I was going to have to learn to walk if I was going to continue fighting with other children. [audience laughter] 

 

Using the wall and furniture, and with my grandmother's reassurance and confidence in me, I, myself, gained confidence in my new ability. But walking also came with falling, with new challenges, and that included falling. Every time I stood up, I fell down, but then I got back up again. Then I stood up, then I fell back down again. Eventually, my legs were strong enough for me to walk to the corner store to fetch oil and rice for my grandmother, just like the other children in my neighborhood did for their parents. 

 

Two years later, the civil war in Somalia broke out and my family and I immigrated to Canada. For the first time, I was able to see a doctor about my diagnosis. He gave me two braces that reached up to my thighs and crutches for support. Most importantly, this is the time when I started going to school as well. This is the time I first felt ordinary, because that's all I wanted to be growing up. I graduated from elementary school, graduated from high school, and I even went to college. 

 

I was starting to feel ordinary once more. At that point, I decided the next thing to do would be to get married. I fell in love, and got married, and I got pregnant. I went to go see my doctor and she told me to be careful, because I was high risk. A couple months later, as I was coming home from work, driving my car, I went down to the garage. I parked my car and I walked to the elevator. As I was walking, the crutches I was given for support slid and I fell front-forward onto the cold cement floor. I was 27 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I felt sharp, strong pain travel down my stomach to my pelvis and to my back. But what was more concerning to me was I didn't know how I was going to get back up. 

 

Using my crutches once more, I was able to stand up, went into the elevator, got to my apartment, took a shower and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up with cramps. Very strong, dull cramps. I immediately called my doctor, and she told me to go to the emergency room. I went to the emergency room, but then I was sent to the labor and delivery ward. They did an X-ray and I sat in a room waiting for the doctor to come. I waited, and waited and waited. Eventually, he showed up with his head down, looking at the ground. He said, "Safia, unfortunately, we’re not able to detect a viable heartbeat. You will need to be induced today." 

 

I was in disbelief. I mean, just last week, my friends threw me a baby shower, and they gave me bottles, baby blankets, and a nursing pillow. I was looking forward to raising my son, playing with my son, even vaccinating my son, so he could have an ordinary life, just as I imagined it to be. The next day, I went home. I cried. I was angry, how could polio come back and take something that was precious to me just like that? Because my whole life I have been fighting polio and I have been beating polio. But this time, it felt like polio got me. But then, I realized I'm not the type of person that focuses on what-ifs. I'm the type of person that focuses on what could be. I decided that I could get pregnant again and I will have another child.

 

Within months, I was pregnant, this time with a baby girl. I took every precaution possible. I went on early maternity leave. I stayed home in the winter months and waited for my daughter to come into the world. In the summer of 2008, my daughter introduced herself to the world with the loudest cry I have ever heard in my life. [audience laughter] A couple years after that, two years after that, I had another daughter, then a son. Now, I'm a mother of three. [audience applause] 

 

Just recently, I was at the store with my son at the cash register and I fell. Actually, [chuckles] I fell down and I said really loudly, "Wait, it's okay, I'm fine. I always fall,”. But then, I get back up. [audience chuckles] My son looked back and I said, "Hey, don't you think I'm getting the hang of this? I'm okay. I don't think I fall as much as I used to anymore." My son looked at me with a mischievous smile and he said, "Mom, you just fell in January, February, March, [audience laughter] April." But then, I realized polio doesn't really affect our family, because we're just used to me falling. And I was like, “Okay, so this is our ordinary.” And then, I realized, at that point, that I defeated polio and I wasn't just ordinary like I hoped to be, but I was extraordinary. Thank you.