Eve Engel - First Kiss

 

So here I was, like any good young Jew on my first teen trip to Israel. I was so excited, because every second of this trip was planned. The itinerary was beautiful. I love that because I'm this compulsive daydreamer, this neurotic over planner. I think and think about things in my head a lot and how I want them to be. So, this really excited me. But the one thing I didn't plan on was meeting a guy on this trip. It was hilarious, because what happened was I met this guy, Danny. We would sit next to each other on bus rides and entertain each other with really bad, “That's What She Said Jokes”, really mature. We did that and we bonded. 

 

But the one thing we didn't do was kiss, because the thing was, is that it was going to be my first kiss and I wanted it to be perfect. I didn't know how it was going to be perfect, but I knew it had to be and I knew the one way it wasn't going to be was if I kissed him first. He had to be the one to do it. So, this brings us to the end of the trip. The trip started in Israel and then it ended in this Christian retreat center in New Jersey, of all places. [audience laughter] And it was my birthday. It was my birthday and it was the best day. They threw me a surprise party and it was just so amazing. I kept thinking to myself, the only thing that could make this day better is if I had my perfect first kiss. So, I keep waiting to see if he'll do it. 

 

And then we get to after this bonfire at night and he says, “Hey, you want to go for a walk?” And I'm like, “Okay.” [audience laughter] And so, then, he brings us to this gazebo. I see this gazebo and I know what happens in gazebos. [audience laughter] Romantic first kisses happen in gazebos. [audience laughter] So, I was so excited. So, I sat down. I keep, like, we have this awkward silence and I keep waiting for him to just kiss me. But he keeps looking at his watch and I'm like, “Okay, we're not on the same page maybe.” 

 

But I couldn't even be bothered, because I was having such a good day. I was wearing this white dress that made me feel really pretty, and the gazebo had twinkly lights over it, which was really romantic. It was that kind of cool summer night where you could just smell it. I was so happy. And then, finally, he looks up from his watch, he kisses me, he pulls back, shows me his watch and it reads 11:59 and 59 seconds, and he says, “Happy birthday.” 

 

And I was like, “Oh.” Because I was like, “I see your romantic gesture.” [audience laughter] Like, “I see what you did there.” [audience laughter] But the thing was, is that this kiss was so underwhelming, [audience laughter] I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't know what I did wrong. I was freaking out. I was having this out of body experience. And it was midnight, so we had to go back to our cabin. So, he dropped me off at my cabin and he kisses me good night and I just walk up the stairs and I'm crying, because it was my first kiss. 

 

And something didn't go right. It didn't feel perfect. And so, I go to my counselor's room, and I'm crying and I just tell her everything. I say how it was my first kiss and something was wrong and I don't know what I did wrong. And she goes, “Honey, first kisses are supposed to be awkward. First everythings are supposed to be awkward.” Well, that just blew my mind [audience laughter] that I could think and think and plan. And things weren't going to come out the way they were in my head. And that was such a liberating feeling. 

 

And the great thing was that the next time that I kissed someone, it was so unplanned. It was on a Monday night, and I had to rush home to do a math project, and I was on a subway platform and I kissed him first. And I swear it lasted like this long, but it was perfect. Thank you.