Host: Chloe Salmon
Chloe: [00:00:04] Welcome to The Moth Podcast. I'm your host for this week, Chloe Salmon. What's your New Year's resolution? To read more books, get back into cycling, finally finish that home improvement project? Whatever it is, I salute you. I don't think I've ever actually kept a New Year's resolution, though I'd like to hope that I'm not completely alone there.
A few years back, I finally resolved to stop trying to immediately transform into a better version of myself during the darkest, coldest and for me at least, worst time of the year. I've stuck to it. I have to say I am much less stressed out every January now. But just because I've made my peace with resolutions, it doesn't mean you shouldn't aim high. Maybe yours could even be to celebrate The Moth's 25th anniversary.
This year, we'll be producing Moth Podcast episodes celebrating each of the 25 years of The Moth's existence. We're starting in 2022, and going backwards with each episode ending in 1997 when The Moth began. We'll feature stories you've never heard before, talk a bit about the history of The Moth and explore behind the scenes magic that makes it all happen. We can't wait for you to listen.
And yes, that means that this week's podcast features a story hot off the stage from this brand-new year. Sarah Bunger told the story you're about to hear in Portland, Oregon a few days ago at one of our first StorySLAMs of 2022. The theme of the night was Goals. Here's Sarah, live at The Moth.
[cheers and applause]
Sarah: [00:01:49] I had one, I think, really simple, reasonable goal. I wasn't trying to write a book. I wasn't trying to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. I just wanted one simple thing, and it was for our new cat to like me better than my husband. [audience laughter] That was it.
In October, we head down to Salem to go to an animal rescue. My husband has one hard and fast rule about animals, and that is that they should adopt you, that they will tell you if they want you to have them. That's exactly what happened. We walk into this place, and this little kitty sniffs us and cuddles us and gets on our lap. She's black and white, she's about a year old, she's already had a litter of kittens, so she's essentially looking for a second chance. [audience laughter] And we take her, and it's all great.
Wd we name her Sadie, because she looks like a Sadie. We call her Slim Sadie or Sadie lady or Sadie B. Hawkins or Sadie Sweetheart. But here's the thing. I want her to like me more than she likes him. I want her to come to me, I want her to be on my lap, I want her to cuddle with me. And God forbid, if we're in a burning building, I want her to drag my body out first. This is what I want. [audience laughter]
So, two quick things. One, cats will not do anything that they don't want to do. And two, my husband is magic with animals. He is a cross between Dr. Dolittle, and Snow White and every animal whisperer. If he lived in the forest, birds would sew his clothes. [audience laughter] We lived in Chicago until quite recently, and he would take these long walks in Humboldt Park. And squirrels, I'm not lying. This is hand of God. Squirrels would just come up to him and eat out of his hand. [audience laughter] These are west side Chicago squirrels. [audience laughter] These are tough, little-- Yeah.
There would be like a flock of geese that would lovingly crowd around him. I don't know if you know this about geese, but geese are like dicks. [audience laughter] They're the worst of all animals, and they love my husband. He is the king of cats. If walking in our neighborhood, I'm not lying, a clowder of cats will just appear. He knows their names, even though they don't have name tags. He'll talk about how he saw Nacho today or Bellas across the street.
And one time, I swear I saw this cat, this orange tabby, run across the street to him and just lay with her belly in front of him. Like, she just went for it. Watching cats with him is like watching the footage from when those teenage girls saw the Beatles at the Ed Sullivan Theater, where they're just-- [audience laughter] and then they like collapse. So, I know that I have my work cut out for me to get Sadie B. Hawkins to like me more. But I'm in it to win it and I have a plan.
The first thing is I have the at-home advantage, because I work from home and he goes to the office. So, for 9 to 10 hours every day, I get to be with her. I become her sole issuer of food. I really go for the good stuff. I get Tiki Cat, or sometimes for special occasions, Tiki Cat After Dark. [audience laughter] And it's like duck confit with quail egg. I like, I really go for it. I also become her sole source of play. I figure out that she likes these plush toys that are about this big. So, I buy her a cricket and a lamb chop, and I lovingly dust them with catnip like a chef seasoning, like a sirloin or something. I chuck them down the hallway.
She runs so fast that for the first second, her legs are moving, but she is not. She's like Wile E. Coyote and she's just going for it. And then, I also talk to her very lovingly all day long. I encourage her. I tell her what a great jump she just did, or “Wow, what a great job licking your leg.” [audience laughter] I give her a lot of positive performance reviews. And sometimes I sing to her. During December, there were a lot of verses of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You. I sang it to her very meaningfully. [audience laughter]
And so, throughout our days, it's going pretty well because I'm home with her. I have a standing desk and I thought I would use it 50% of the time, but I use it about 90%, because she prefers my chair and she likes it preferably against the window, so she can watch her daytime soaps. [audience laughter] She wakes up from her nap and we cuddle and we do all of this. And it's going really well. Really well.
Except, except the minute my husband comes home, she races down the stairs to greet him. When he sits down, she wants on his lap. When he lays down, she tries to get into the crook of his knees or into the hollow of his chest. And if he changes positions to make himself more comfortable, she will also change even if it makes her less comfortable. And I don't know why. He doesn't give her Tiki Cat, he doesn't have the app on the phone to let me know how many times she went to the litter box today, he doesn't know where the good snacks are. He never sings Mariah Carey to her. Never. I'm genuinely miffed about this.
The other day we had this moment in the bedroom she had just jumped up on. I told her she did a great job jumping. She's jumping up on the bed. And this song by Taylor Swift is playing. It's like the 10-minute version of All Too well. I look at her meaningfully in the eyes. I make eye contact and I say something like, “Maybe I asked for too much, but maybe this was a masterpiece till you tore it all up.” She looked at me, and then yawned, and then sighed, and then licked the front of her own neck and that was it.
So, I'm making peace with the fact that, like, my job is to love Sadie and to take care of her, and Sadie's job is to be Sadie whether that means she loves me in return as well as I want or not. But we are in talks about getting a second kitty for her to play with, so wish me luck. [audience laughter]
[cheers and applause]
Chloe: [00:07:46] That was Sarah Bunger. Sarah was a high school English teacher for years before she decided to pursue a career in advertising in 2021. Instead of grading essays on The Great Gatsby, she now spends her weekends deciphering corporate speak. She recently moved from Chicago to Portland, Oregon and is happily enjoying all of the great food, hiking and beer. She lives with her husband, Vincent, and their sweetheart kitty, Sadie. To see some photos of Sarah, her husband and their absolutely adorable cat, head to themoth.org/extras.
The Moth is back in person in select markets. Make it a resolution to come out and tell your story. We want to hear it. And if you're looking for a little inspiration, The Moth's new book, How to Tell a Story: The Essential Guide to Memorable Storytelling from The Moth, is available for pre-order now. Check out our website for more details on where to get it and about Moth events near you at themoth.org.
That's all for this episode. Thank you to Sarah for sharing with us and to you for listening. We hope you come along with us as we take this year to look back on our history and most importantly, celebrate stories. From all of us here at The Moth. have a story worthy week.
Davy: [00:09:04] Chloe Salmon is a producer, an instructor for The Moth community and education programs, and a director on the Mainstage. Her favorite Moth moments come on show days when the cardio is done, the house lights go down and the magic settles in.
This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Jenness, Sarah Jane Johnson, Marc Sollinger and me, Davy Sumner.
The rest of The Moth's leadership team includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jenifer Hixson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klutse, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Glodowski and Aldi Kaza. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by storytellers.
For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, visit our website, themoth.org. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, The Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.