Host: Jenifer Hixson
[Uncanny Valley by The Drift]
Jenifer: [00:00:13] From PRX, this is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jenifer Hixson. The Moth is true stories told live. People often ask us, “What are you looking for in a story?” And that's a hard one to answer because there's no one thing but some of the stuff you want in there, something at stake, a unique perspective, maybe a twist, and really important details, not all the details, but the details that are significant. Take this first story by Danusia Trevino. In lots of stories, details about clothing, what someone was wearing might not be significant. But for Danusia, her thoughts on specific items of clothing really help us see the story through her eyes. You'll see what I mean. [cheers and applause] Danusia’s got an accent. She's from Poland. But her story happened in the place she's made home, New York City. Here's Danusia.
Danusia: [00:01:05] I didn't rebel when I was a teenager. I started late and was still going at it the summer I turned 30, [audience laughter] I just became an American citizen. [cheers and applause] I divorced my husband. I got a big tattoo of a bat on my arm, and I joined a New York City punk band. [audience laughter] I was just beginning to play bass guitar. So, for the first show, I borrowed a tambourine from a friend, and I started hitting it so hard that my whole arm went through the drum skin. And an acquaintance of mine came up to me and she said, “You might benefit from going to therapy.” [audience laughter] And she handed me a card for a therapist, and I took it and I went.
And at the first session, this therapist asked me, “Why are you here?” And I said to her, “I am here because I am angry at the world and its people.” And she said to me, “The world is like a mosaic, and you are one of its tiny pieces. You are very important, but so is equally everybody else.” And I wanted to say to her, “I did not go through all this trouble to come all the way from Communist Poland to New York City to pay you $75 an hour so you could turn me into some happy tile.” [audience laughter]
So, I continued doing my thing. I used to go out almost every night. I used to practice with the band and then go out almost every night to dance, drink. I used to come home at sunrise, and I would watch as regular people were going to work, and I felt great pity for their lives. [audience laughter] And around that time, I got my first jury duty summons in the mail. So, I asked my rock and roll friends about it, and they said, “Jury duty sucks and it needs to be avoided at all costs because the system is corrupt, so why bother?” And then they coached me on how not to get picked. They said, “Whatever the case is, tell them you have personal experience with it.” So, if somebody was attacked, tell them you have been attacked. And if somebody was pickpocketed, you have been pickpocketed. So, I felt very confident on a day. And I got dressed for my jury picking day. I spiked my hair. I made sure my bat tattoo was in full view. I put motorcycle boots, jeans with holes, and a T-shirt that said, “I want to be your dog.” [audience laughter]
And I arrived like that at the court and I sat in a huge room with lots of other people. And shortly after, my name got called into another room for something called voir dire, where I learned that the defendant was a young black man accused of robbery. And I thought to myself, this is great. I don't even have to lie. So, I raised my hand and I said, “Pardon me, but I cannot be impartial because I have been twice arrested for shoplifting.” [audience laughter] The judge was in the room. He was very old and very mean because when I raised my hand again, he sent me a cold look that said, “I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work.” And I really wanted to see the expression on his face when I tell him about my job, but I didn't think it was a good idea to announce in court that for the past six years I have been delivering magic mushrooms and marijuana for money. [audience laughter] so I kept quiet and I got selected as the juror number one. [audience laughter]
And then I had to sit and watch as they select the 11 remaining jurors. 10 very uptight, rigid, Wall Street type of people, and one elderly Spanish gentleman. There was this anemic looking woman wearing a blue suit with flat shoes, straight black, uneventful hair. Then there was middle-aged guy with beige pleated pants that went above his waist, blue oxford shirt with bow tie and a very low-quality toupee. And he acted as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with that look. [audience laughter] Then there was this younger guy with a briefcase, the groovy type who thinks Eric Clapton is a God and invented the Blues. And rest of them were wearing suits.
I was positive they were all Republicans, [audience laughter] that they were probably married to their childhood sweethearts, had fantastic jobs with all benefits and a room for promotion, that probably on Sundays they went with their whole families to the park to walk slowly, take in the air and admire the vegetation. [audience laughter] What a life, I thought. And now were locked here together and they were going to put this young man in jail.
And for the first time I realized, “Thank God, they Picked me so he could have at least one truly liberal, open-minded soul on his side.” The case was scheduled for the following week. I lost sense of time and I went out the night before as usual. I came home at sunrise; I passed out on the couch and I woke up because my phone wouldn't stop ringing. It was the court clerk saying, “Where are you? We're about to go into session and the judge insists on waiting for you, so please hurry.” So, I quickly got in a cab and I went Downtown. And when I got into the court, I was told that our case got moved into the afternoon because of my lateness. So, I went into everybody and I apologized, even though I wanted to say to them, “You know don't blame me. You could see I was trying to help you not to pick me.”
So finally, after lunch, we entered the courtroom. The family of the defendant was already there. What seemed to be his grandmother, his grandfather, parents and siblings. And they looked little concerned when they saw us all pretty much white there. And I wanted to wave to them and say, “Don't worry, I've got this.” Then the case began, the hearing began, and the prosecution made a complete mess of things. They gave us a lot of facts that we were later told to erase from our memory, like that's easy to do. Then the defense lawyer was not very helpful because he was disheveled, depressed, and not very passionate about saving his client from going to jail. And I could see that the old judge was not happy with their performance either because when we were walking to deliberate, he stopped us and in his speech to us, he just said, “Just go with your gut.” [audience laughter]
And I've never been to law school, but I knew I would have done a much better job [audience laughter] just from watching crime movies. So, we finally went into deliberation room, the door got locked and we started talking and everybody had a chance to say something. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I remember we all agreed that the guy probably committed the crime. But then some of the people were saying that they didn't think that the prosecution proved their case. So, after 40 minutes of that, finally our foreman said, “Is anybody ready to vote?” And nobody was raising their hand. So, I raised my hand and I said, “I'm ready and I vote guilty.” And they all looked at me. And then the anemic woman raised her hand and she said, “I'm ready too, and I vote not guilty.” And I thought, she's probably religious or something.
So, then this Spanish guy raised his hand and he said, “I'm ready too. And I vote not guilty.” And then, one by one, they voted not guilty. And I was the only one with the guilty vote. [audience laughter] And I was a little surprised myself because I was supposed to be the one to save him. But I couldn't ignore my gut. And what happened next is that these 11 people talk to me one by one, with patience and gentleness. And they didn't say that I was wrong, they said they understood where I was coming from, that they said, “Maybe you were influenced by the information we were supposed to forget.” And when I was still not convinced, they sent the older Spanish gentleman to talk to me. And he sat very close to me, and he looked me in the eyes and he said, “You know maybe one day somebody that you love very much will be in this situation where it will look like they have committed a crime, but they are actually innocent. And this law that says a person is innocent until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt will save their life. By any means, it's not a perfect law, but it's the law we have and we were asked to follow and honor it in this court today, so please consider that.” [sobs]
And I was a little surprised how thoughtful all these people were. And I changed my vote and we went back to the court. And when that final question is posed by the judge, has the jury reached their verdict? And how do you find the defendant? And when our beautiful, handsome foreman got up and said, “Not guilty, your honor,” the family of the defendant jumped out of their seats with so much relief and they looked at us, and then they waited for us outside because they wanted to thank us personally. And as they were hugging everyone, I was hoping that nobody's going to tell them about me in deliberation room. [audience laughter] And I wanted to say to them, “Don't thank me. Thank these 11 really incredible, probably still Republican people, [audience laughter] because they're something else. They've managed to crack my heart open against my will.”
And then came a time where I had to say goodbye to my colleagues, and I didn't want to part with them. I want to grab onto their legs and say, “Take me with you. Don't leave me here alone. Take me to the park [audience laughter] for a walk. Teach me how to admire the vegetation. [audience laughter] Teach me how to live,” but they had to go back to their regular jobs. And when somebody say today that they don't want to do the jury duty, I say to them, “Please go. You never know what can happen at the jury duty.” Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Jenifer: [00:14:47] That was Danusia Trevino live at The Moth at the State Theater, Ithaca, New York. Danusia is an actress and writer, and to know her is to understand that she will never be just a tile in a mosaic. [Viva by Fur playing] She's been called back for jury duty twice since the story happened and said she hopes she'll get called again. She always arrives with an open heart. And I'll tell you what, if I'm ever on trial, I'm going to pray for a Danusia on my jury. By the way, Danusia's punk band was called Fur, and you're listening to them right now. That's Danusha singing.
[Viva by Fur continues]
Jenifer: [00:15:37] In a moment, a man with multiple sclerosis gets his hopes up for a miracle drug.
Jay: [00:15:47] The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by PRX.
[cheers and applause]
Jenifer: [00:15:56] This is The Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jenifer Hixson. This next story is by Chuck Upshaw. He told it in East Lansing, Michigan, at the beautiful Wharton Center for Performing Arts. Here's Chuck.
Chuck: [00:16:16] Jesse Owens, Michael Phelps and Chuck Upshaw. Jesse Owens ran so fast that in the 1936 Berlin Olympics, he wiped that smirk right off of Adolf Hitler's face. Michael Phelps, for the past 10 years, has been the fastest man in the pool. Now, those of you who are pretty perceptive and who've been paying attention have probably realized by now that I'm in a wheelchair. [audience laughter] And I've been using a wheelchair since 1987. So, I know some of you are thinking “There can't possibly be much in common between Chuck and those Olympians.”
Well, it started the day that my neurologist told me about a new medication for MS Patients. A miracle drug, really. It was supposed to help MS patients walk 20% faster and he asked me if I'd be willing to try it. “20% faster? Hell, yes. Sign me up right now. What do I have to do?” He said the only thing I had to do was complete a 25-foot timed walk. Well, I understood what they were trying to do. They were going to establish a baseline. They were going to see how fast I walked before the meds and after the meds. “25 feet, I can do that in my sleep. 25 feet doesn't sound very far. It's the distance from here over there.” Most of you could probably walk 25 feet in six or seven seconds. It's not far. Unless you have multiple sclerosis, then it feels like you're walking across the Sahara Desert and that's how it turned out for me.
Late one Friday afternoon in July, I took my walker to neurologist office and started to walk. The first two steps were great. I was strong. I was strong like a bull. That third step started to get a little harder and it got progressively harder the further I walked. By the time I finished, I was out of breath [panting] and I was soaked through with sweat. My shirt was just wringing wet. And I asked the nurse how I did? And she told me-- and I said, “Well, when can I start the medication?” She said, “Chuck, you can't.” And this was the part that the neurologist had neglected to tell me. I had to walk 25 feet within a certain time period. And the time I walked was way, way, way slower than that.
Well, this was one of those WTF moments. [audience laughter] And I'll admit that I was probably using some of those ugly words. A timeframe? it would have been nice if somebody had told me, but nobody did. At that point, I was furious. But I made a decision that I was going to show the insurance companies because they are the ones who set the timeframe, the insurance companies, the man. I was going to show them. The next day I was going on vacation. And while I was on vacation, I walked 25 feet twice a day in the cool of the morning and the cool of the afternoon. And by the end of the week, I had knocked off 30 seconds. But that was still a long, long, long way from where I needed to be. When I got home, I wanted to continue walking, but I didn't have a place to walk. And for two or three weeks I thought of, “Where can I walk? Where can I walk?” And it finally came to me. I had been a mental health therapist on the psychiatric unit of a local hospital, and they had a great long hallway and I would walk there. The only problem was I didn't want anybody to see me walking. It was a pride thing, and I didn't want people to see me struggling and stumbling around, so I devised this great plan. I would only walk when patients were in treatment groups or at lunch and when staff were charting in the nurse's station. Well, that was a clumsy, slow, awkward way to do it and my times weren't coming down. So finally, I decided that I only had one solution, I would come out.
So, one Monday morning in community meeting, that's when all the patients, the staff got together. I let people know what I was going to be doing, walk in the halls, and I let them know why. I needed to walk 45-- excuse me, I needed to walk 25 feet in 45 to 8 seconds. Afterwards, two women came up to me and said they would like to help me, two patients. Linda said, “Chuck, what can I do to help?” Well, I don't ask for help very well, so I didn't have any kind of plan. Finally, I said, “Take my watch. Walk down there to where you see that strip of tape on the floor. That's 25 feet. I will walk to you. I'll say go when I start walking and when I get to you, you stop timing me.” Mary said she wanted to help, too, but I didn't have anything for her to do. Now, Mary was a sister from Mississippi. So, I said, Mary, “Here's what I want you to do. I want you to go down there and stand next to Linda. I will walk to you. And we maintain good eye contact. And I want you to be my cheerleader.” I said, “Mary, I want you to pray for me.” She said, “Chuck, I'll do that.”
So, we walked for a week, nothing. Two weeks, nothing. Finally, that third week, when I got to the finish line, Linda said, “Chuck, 44 seconds.” And Mary said, “Thank you, Jesus.” [audience laughter] And I learned two important things that day. One was how humbling it is to have people, who have their own problems and struggles, help you. The second thing I learned was how addictive speed can be [audience laughter] because even though I had gotten within the timeframe, I wanted my speed, my time, to go down, down, down, down, and it did. I kept walking. Patients kept helping me.
Now, at the same time we had on the unit, a young woman who had been there two weeks, and she had been completely mute the whole time she was there. She had not said one syllable. No one had heard her say “Boo.” I'm a pretty good therapist. I tried everything I knew how to do, and she wouldn't talk. One day before group therapy, she came into the group room with a legal pad and a pen and she wrote, “Chuck, why is 30 seconds so important to you?” Well, I was stunned that she was communicating. But I told her, I told her about the medication. I told her about the time-frame. I told her that mostly 30 seconds was important to me because I wanted to stick it to the man. [audience laughter] She smiled, but she didn't talk. After about another week, her physicians thought that she should go to a longer-term hospital. On the day she left, her parents came to pick her up. They walked to the elevator. I rolled to the elevator and told her thank you and I wouldn't miss her. And as the elevator doors were closing, she looked up at me and said, “Chuck, I hope you get 30.” The doors closed. “Hey, wait, wait. Stop.” [audience laughter] But she was gone. Okay.
My times kept inching down slowly, but surely. And I did get 30 seconds and my time kept going down. These were my Olympic moments. It was about this time, I realized that 25 feet really isn't that far if you have people helping you. The last time I walked was three days before I retired. The young woman who was helping me, 19 and she had more attitude than all of you put together. [audience laughter] Okay, she started off the same way she did every time I walked. She said, “Ready, Chuck? Walk,” and I walked. I walked as fast as I could. When I got to the finish line, she didn't say anything. She looked up at me, but she didn't say anything. Finally, I said, “What's wrong?” She said, “Damn Chuck. I said walk, not run.” [cheers and applause] She got up, walked slowly over to me and showed me the stopwatch, 6.7 seconds. [cheers and applause] Life's a funny old thing. It's full of irony. The first time I walked, I didn't qualify because I was too slow. The last time I walked, I didn't qualify because I was too fast. [applause] Jesse Owens, Michael Phelps and me.
[cheers and applause]
Jenifer: [00:27:55] [Freedom Jazz Dance by Brian Bromberg playing] That was Charles Upshaw. Chuck is a semi-retired psychologist who, “Just can't seem to quit for good. Lucky for his patients.” Here's what he said in his self-penned bio. Charles Upshaw is a “Good-looking black man in a wheelchair who is frequently confused with Denzel Washington.” I love Chuck.
[Freedom Jazz Dance by Brian Bromberg continues]
Coming up in a moment, two SLAM stories. One about a dead-end job and another about a deluded dad when The Moth Radio Hour continues.
Jay: [00:28:45] The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by the Public Radio Exchange, prx.org.
Jenifer: [00:28:56] You're listening to The Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jenifer Hixson. Next up, two shorter stories from our slam series. At StorySLAM’s, the tellers are allowed just about five minutes. First up is Morley McBride from the GrandSLAM in Denver, Colorado, where we partner with public radio station, WUNC. Sometimes it's not just who you are that sets you apart. It's also who you aren't. [cheers and applause] This one's for all the people out there in miserable jobs. Here's Morley.
Morley: [00:29:27] So, I moved west to California, fresh out of college with grand dreams of launching my creative career. I felt super lucky when I landed my first job as a receptionist at a big advertising firm. I'd never had a corporate job before. I had to look up what business casual meant on the Internet. And I was so relieved to see closed toed shoes because I was like I have a lot of those. My Dr. Martens, my sneakers, my hiking boots. [audience laughter] So, despite a terribly inappropriate Wardrobe, I tried my best to fit into this new office culture. I answered phones, I made coffee, I helped people falsify their expense reports. [audience laughter] I was basically responsible for anything and everything that no one else in the office wanted to do and I hated it. It was sort of soul crushing.
Things went from bad to worse, when as a cost cutting measure, the firm fired their travel agency. They were like we'll just get the receptionist to book our travel. This is pre kayak, mind you. [audience laughter] So now, in between answering the phones, I'm on the phone, all day, negotiating with airlines and managing the travel itineraries of a really busy office of executives. And booking travel is not my forte for multiple reasons. First, I was raised in a super thrifty New England family, so I hate spending money. Even if it's not mine, it still stresses me out. And second, I'm a Libra, so I consider every option there is and still can't make a decision. [audience laughter] I ponder which end of the Q-tip to use when I get out of the shower. [audience laughter]
So, needless to say, this job becomes a daily nightmare of anxiety and stress for me. And as a receptionist, there's really no place for that. You're trapped by this huge desk where everyone can always see you and you're contractually obligated to smile. So, on the surface, I'm pretending everything's fine, but underneath my professional pleasantries, a real storm is brewing. Soon, this job, the stress of it, begins to affect my personal life. I find I don't want to go out with my friends anymore for fear that they'll ask me about my work. So, to ease the pain, I come home one night and I make this iron on T-shirt that just says, “I am not a travel agent.” And I begin to put it on every day when I come home from work just to remind myself and feel a bit better. [audience laughter] My routine was to come home, put my bag down, put that shirt on, grab a beer, sit on the couch. It was like a warped version of an opening scene from a Mr. Rogers episode. [audience laughter]
My only happy time during the workday was lunchtime, when I would splurge at the bodega next door on my favorite, and ice-cold Diet Coke. I've basically-- of all the world's vices, Diet Coke is mine. I've been addicted to it since childhood because both my parents drank it. And I don't know if you know any Diet Coke fanatics, but it's not a negotiable choice, there's no substitute, we're very loyal people. So, I'm sitting at that receptionist desk, eating my lunch, enjoying a Diet Coke, savoring the sweet aspartame fizz of it, when I get called into one of partners offices. I walk in, and there's sort of this Don Draper-esque character sitting at the desk across from me. He's the kind of partner that calls you “Hon,” and only flies in direct flight business class aisle seats. He says to me, “Hon, we need to talk about your drinking problem. You know you can't be drinking a Diet Coke up at that desk.” Now, this would be a good time to mention that this firm's biggest client is Pepsi, and it has been for 40 years. There's Pepsi products all over this office.
As a receptionist, I actually have the key to the soda machine so that I can let the Pepsi man come and restock it every week. But let's get back to my drinking problem, because this job has taken my pride, my sanity, my will to socialize. Remember, I'm going home every night to a DIY therapy session with a T-shirt. [audience laughter] And now it's after my one moment of joy, it's asking me to betray my roots and feign an alliance and an allegiance with the other, [audience chuckle] the enemy, Pepsi. I realize this charade has gone on way too far. I have to draw the line somewhere. So, I smile and nod to Don Draper, and I tell him I totally understand his concerns. And from that day on, I continue to drink my daily Diet Coke, but now with a post it notes wrapped around it that says in clear block letters, Pepsi. [audience laughter]
You'd think that move would have tipped them off that something else was lurking underneath my smiles and nods. [audience laughter] But for whatever reason, it didn't. But I was motivated. So soon after, I found a new job. And on my last day at that firm, I went in early before anyone else. And on my way in, I bought a Diet Coke. But this time, I bought a full case of it. And in the early morning light, I used that key to open up the Pepsi machine [audience laughter] and sprinkle Diet Coke cans randomly but strategically throughout every selection, the Pepsi’s, the Diet Pepsi’s, the Mountain Dew’s.
So, although I never felt home at that job, I mean, it was really a terrible fit. I feel like the way I left it was just right for me. [audience chuckle] My new job brought me out to Colorado and a few weeks later, sitting at my desk overlooking the mountains, I received an email from an old co-worker. And he wrote me to tell me that the temp they'd hired, after I left had, randomly grabbed a bunch of sodas from that Pepsi machine for an important client meeting, [audience laughter] and that the whole creative team had sat silent throughout the meeting, just distracted and dumbfounded by this lone Diet Coke can on the conference table [audience laughter] amongst a sea of Pepsis. Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Jenifer: [00:35:15] [hard bop music playing] Morley McBride is a design strategist, consultant, and facilitator. She lives in Colorado, spends a lot of time outdoors, and reports that she has her Diet Coke dependency mostly under control. To see a picture of Morley in her DIY therapy shirt, “I am not a travel agent,” visit themoth.org. [music continues] Our final story today comes from our StorySLAM in New Orleans, where Chris Turgeon is a native. He lives in the Holy Cross Neighborhood of the Lower Ninth Ward. He's had an interesting career, working his way through college as a dining room captain at Commander's Palace, later becoming an account executive. But especially relevant to this story, he was a high school English teacher who also coached football and powerlifting. Here's Chris Turgeon
Facilitator: [00:36:22] He’s coming. He’s coming. Hey, I'm good. How are you? Moth it up.
Chris: [00:36:29] So, of course, you know in our family, a lot of people in the south had a big family bible, we had a big Webster's Dictionary. So, when I said delusions, I looked up a delusion is a fixed fake belief that's resistant to fact or to the truth. And when you delude, it's to deceive or to deliberately mislead the mind or the judgment. So not-- you think about a delusion, not such a positive connotation. So, a positive in my life was my kids. And I had a daughter first, and three years later, I had a son. And having two uncles, one in the NBA, one in the NFL and having played ball myself, I had this big gigunda's son, and I figured this guy is like NFL bound.
And so about age two, I guess his sister and her friends wouldn't let him play with him. So, they gave him-- he wanted to play Barbie with him, so they gave him one Barbie with no clothes and one arm. [audience laughter] And so, he took paper towels and napkins and folded them and he made formal gowns and stuff, started building all these little dresses, so that’s good dexterity for his fingers for when he's gouging quarterbacks in the eye through the face mask. [audience laughter] And we got down so. And he got a little bigger and he got better at that stuff. So, I said the Barbie thing, let me get you GI Joe. And he got a couple of scarves from my wife and GI Joe had a fabulous sari, [audience laughter] really nice [chuckles] pantsuit ensemble. And I said, “Well, that's cool, it's pretty creative.”
So, we were doing everything. He'd come out fishing with me, and he's a hard fishing little guy and loved being with me. We go spend weekends at the camp and do all that good stuff, go to the ball games with me. And so, he wanted to do karate. And I'm like “Yes. Thank you, Lord, yeah.” So, he's kicking everyone's ass. He's huge and really strong and winning all the time. So, I'm like he's doing his forms. One day I said, “This is great.” And then I hear [makes music sound] he's got my wife's disco thing, and he's busting moves in front of the mirror and working on his dance moves and I said, “Well, yeah, that's cool.” Once again.
And so I was raised kind of-- my parents, my mom was a college professor, dad was a TV producer and they were really liberal. So, their three sons piss them off by all becoming conservative. And it worked for them with their parents. And so, I was trying to delude, it was for me and that I was trying to delude myself. And so finally, when Mardi Gras, he said he wanted to-- He made his own costume. And so, he was the Love bug. So, it was Mardi Gras morning, he had red shorts and this great floral tunic top that he'd made. Hat, it was all piled up with all sorts of stuff hot glued on.
And so we're walking down from commanders down to the quarter, and some queen in the quarter goes, “Oh, honey, you're on your way.” And I said [chuckles]. At this point deluding is really-- it's a wicked delusion as deception. So, the years gone, and even when he's on the flag team in high school. And I said, “Yeah, but look, there's some cute girls on that team,” and he hangs out with Courtney a lot [chuckles], right. And so, one night, one of my wife's friends are over, and this girl had a bottle of Grey Goose surgically implanted in the side of her face. And she says, “Isn't it great? Isn't it great that Bryce told everyone he's gay?” I said, “Yeah, that's great because I'm thrilled about It.”
And so later that night, Bryce comes home, and I said, “You got something to tell me?” And I said, “Miss Debbie is over.” He goes, “Oh, shit.” [audience laughter] I said, “Well, in between vodka burps, I got something about you've come out like--.” And he's like “Well, I don't want to piss you off, dad.” And I said, “Well, basically, I love you, and I drove you to all those theater performances and [audience laughter] I'm going to love you, one way or another,” and I realized at that point I wasn't deluding to protect Bryce, this is all about me. It was like a kind of a bullshit prop to use. And so, I came to embrace that and so he went on to come out okay and went on a full theater scholarship to a real exclusive Catholic University. And he's now making costumes on Broadway. He called me yesterday. He said, “I'm making a dress for Jennifer Lawrence. I just wanted to tell you that, Pop.” [audience laughter and applause] He’s 25 and living on the island, and I promise I wouldn't say how tall he was, 6 foot 8. And he's working with the top dogs and one of the two biggest costume shops in New York.
And so, I looked back on that and said-- so if I was resistant in my fake firm belief to the truth or to reason, you got to figure out what-- once you got the thought, I got to say, what was this truth or reason to which I was so resistant? And I realized that-- I spent a lot of years being a football coach and in sales and so it was kind of a man's world, manly man's world. And the truth was that I was a father to an incredibly talented, incredibly fabulous gay man. And when I stopped deluding myself and just let the love take over, it was all good. Thank you all. God bless.
[cheers and applause]
Jenifer: [00:42:32] [Soul Sister by Dexter Gordon playing] That was Chris Turgeon live at the New Orleans StorySLAM, where we partner with public radio station WWNO. As Chris mentioned, his son lives in New York City, where he works in a costume shop and performs in drag as his alter ego, Fleur-de-lis. Moth headquarters are also in New York City. So, I thought it would be fun to go down and catch up with Bryce Turgeon, play the story for him and get his reaction. Bryce invited us to come and meet him at Rockbar NYC on Christopher Street. While he got ready for his show that night, I asked Bryce if the story was accurate that everyone knew but his father.
Bryce: [00:43:06] My grandma said she remembered when I was three years old, I ran out of her house and I started painting the flowers. And she asked me why, and I said, “Well, obviously, so they match the house.” And at that point they said, we have our first homosexual in the family.
Jenifer: [00:43:21] But he acts as if he was the last to know. Or do you think he was holding. Could he have possibly been holding on to something?
Bryce: [00:43:28] Well, I think it was one of those things that once it was said, it was like “Oh, of course, like obviously.” But my dad, he would always try. I was in sports. You know the world is hard when you're gay, and the world is hard when you're in sixth grade and 6 foot 1 and weigh 300 pounds and just look like a giant tubby ball of just fabulousness that doesn't know who he is or who the world is. And I think he was just trying to make it easier on us. He did everything he could like he sent my sister to private school so she could have a better friend basis and he let me do theater. I always did theater; I was never not allowed to do what I wanted. It was just always like “Well, also, there's this and also there's soccer.” And I think he realized mercilessly every season I went into a sport, it was like “Okay, we tried that one. We're going to move on. [chuckles] This one's not working, but you can be a goalie. You're giant. You don't even have to move. [Jenifer chuckles] Not working. Maybe basketball. You don't even have to jump. You can just touch the hoop.”
I mean, I was built to be just like a famous sportsman. I'm just huge. I'm a swamp giant. Right now, I am six. I feel like a prize hog right now. I'm like 6 foot 8, weighing in at, I think 290, 6 foot 8, I wear a size 17 wide shoe, which is why I don't wear high heels in my show. I only wear flats. But I'm the biggest one in my family. And my dad always says, “You are the biggest human I know doing the most delicate profession I can think of.” He just laughs whenever he sees me like crocheting lace in a corner, [Jenifer chuckles] but it does give me nimble fingers.
I love my dad. I love doing anything that my dad loved to do. I couldn't ride a bike till I was in high school. But, God, he tried. We would do it every weekend. We would go out, we would try it out, we would feel it out, we'd go fishing.
Jenifer: [00:45:15] I've noticed in a number of his stories, yeah, his emotions are very close to the surface there.
Bryce: [00:45:20] My dad wears his heart on his cuff. I mean, he's one of those people who-- He's not afraid to cry ever. And I think it came out in the last. I would say my mom passed away when I was a senior in high school. And I think that moment made us very close and it opened a vulnerability that we had never had before. And my dad and I were very estranged through high school. I mean, I had all of this. And I think once I went into college and once, we came together, he's like my best friend. I mean, he is truly my best friend. I talk to him every day. He is the one I call. And we are so polarly opposite. I mean, we're so opposite in so many ways. And I think because of that, we can laugh at each other. He makes fun of me. I make fun of him. My sister makes fun of both of us.
[Sexy Drag Queen by RuPaul playing]
Jenifer: [00:46:11] To hear more of my interview with Bryce Turgeon or to see a picture of Bryce with his dad, Chris, visit themoth.org. You can share these stories or others from The Moth archive through our website, themoth.org. We're also on Facebook and Twitter @themoth.
[music continues]
Do you have a story to tell us? A hell gig, a love story, a mystery solved, revenge, redemption, reinvention, an aha moment or a oh, no, he didn't. We want to hear it. Hopefully you can capture the essence in under two minutes. You can pitch us your story by recording it right on our site or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. The best pitches are developed from Moth shows all around the world. Here's a pitch we liked.
Martin: [00:47:07] My name is Martin Scavinato. I'm a professor at Washington State University College of Nursing in Spokane, Washington. And I was in Seattle on June of this year. Went across the restaurant, had a couple of beers, and was walking on 8th & Pine towards my hotel. And I saw a young man come at me from my right hand and he was wearing a hoodie. Very quickly, he seemed to bump into me and then he ran away. I looked down and I realized that he had stabbed me. He stabbed me right underneath my rib cage, on the right side of my abdomen.
So, as I was touching myself and realizing that blood was pouring out of me, I was sort of stumbling on the sidewalk and I tripped over someone who was just sleeping there on the sidewalk. And I fell onto him. And he got up. It was a young man with a crew cut. And he looked at me and I said, “I think somebody just stabbed me,” and I opened my jacket and I'm sure he could see the blood. Immediately he went into his backpack and started pulling all of these dressings and he started patching me up. And I realized just by looking at him that this guy was a medic. I had been a medic, an army medic myself. And I asked him, I said, “Are you a combat medic?” And he said, “Yes, sir.” And I said I was a medic myself and I blacked out. The last thing I saw was the young man standing by me. The next morning, I woke up in the hospital. The man that stabbed me had driven the knife through my liver. And when I told him what had happened, of course they didn't believe me, I never heard from the guy again. To this day, I don't know what to make up of either the man that stabbed me or the young man that saved my life.
Jenifer: [00:49:16] Remember, you can pitch us your story @themoth.org. That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time. And that's the story from The Moth.
[Uncanny Valley by The Drift playing]
Jay: [00:49:36] Your host this hour was Jenifer Hixson. Jenifer also directed the stories in the show. The rest of the Moth's directorial staff includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin Jenness, and Meg Bowles. Production support from Timothy Lou Ly. Moth Stories are true is remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Most Moth events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City, supervised by Paul Ruest. Our theme music is by The Drift. Other music in this hour from Fur, Lettice, Brian Bromberg, Dexter Gordon, RuPaul and Stellwagen Symphonette. You can find links to all the music we use at our website.
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by me, Jay Allison with Viki Merrick at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, The National Endowment for the Arts, and the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world.
The Moth Radio Hour is presented by the public radio exchange, prx.org. To find out more about our podcast, for information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.