Michael Maina - Young Love

 

I was 13 years old in my first month of high school. I was both excited and nervous. There were two main differences between primary school and high school. The first was this was a boarding Christian school. They had very many strict rules we had to adhere to. The second difference was that it was an all-boys school. There were no girls at all. 

 

This difference was a bit weird as during primary school, boys and girls never really interacted a lot. Even during break time or recess, they really played separately and nobody paid much attention to the other gender. However, as soon as girls were taken away, all that we could talk about as boys was girls. It was as if absence had made our hearts grow fond of them. 

 

At this time, we had the opportunity to host an inter-high school coeducational sporting event. There were girls coming to our school. Every person was excited. Just to give you a picture, boys in our school didn't adhere to the highest standards of hygiene. They'd stayed days without taking a shower. They'd wear the same uniform. However, on this morning, there was even a line to the showers. People were wearing new uniforms, ironed, everyone was pick and span. 

 

So, finally, the event started and I went to the basketball court. I took my seat in the stands. And as soon as I sat down, there's a girl who caught my eye. She was in a black jersey with a ponytail, black necklace and black earrings. She was gorgeous. As soon as I saw her play, the elegance with which she dribbled the ball and made the important points made me more enamored with her. I decided I have to talk to her. 

 

Unfortunately, her team was eliminated during the semifinals, and my friend told me, “This is your chance. She's by herself. If you don't go, another guy will.” I was scared, but I mustered up my courage. I walked up to her. While walking, we made eye contact, and she smiled at me. This emboldened me and introduced myself. I found out her name was Sharon, and we had so much in common. 

 

First, we stayed in the same neighborhood. We had the same taste in books, same taste in movies and we shared the same sense of humor. We spoke for hours and hours, and we didn't even notice the time flying by. And it was time for her to leave. I tried to get her contacts, but she didn't have a paper where she could write her phone number. I thought, oh, I'll never get to see her again. But she took my form and wrote her number there. I was so excited. 

 

That evening, during prep time, all I could think about was Sharon. What's Sharon doing? Is she thinking about me? Sharon is so pretty. We were supposed to meet up during the holidays and have a date. I was thinking about what we were going to do, and I realized I have absolutely no idea. Something about our culture, is that people don't teach you about dating or relationships between boys and girls. Not your teachers, not your parents. You figure it out for yourself. 

 

So, I decided, why not ask my classmates? So, I told them about Sharon. They were super excited in cheering me on. And so, I asked them, so, what should I do during the first date? My friends were like, “You live in the same neighborhood?” “Yeah,” “So, invite her over when nobody's at home. When she comes, make the moves on her and have sex with her.” I was like, “What?” Mind you, we were all 13-year-olds, virgins who knew nothing about sex. They were telling me to go all the way with her. 

 

I thought the advice was a bit fishy. But after this conversation, I started having sexual thoughts about Sharon, and I didn't really know what to do about it. I decided I need more advice, now an adult's point of view. We had a school counselor who also served as the school chaplain. I walked to his office, and knocked just after lunch and he opened the door. He was this huge, imposing guy with a very stern face. He wasn't the most approachable person, but I had a problem and I needed advice. 

 

So, I sat down and told him about Sharon, how wonderful she was, how I couldn't stop thinking about her. I also told him about the sexual thoughts I've been having. As soon as he heard the word sexual, his face contorted and he gave me such a stern glare. I tried to look up to avoid eye contact, but I just saw Jesus on the cross staring disapprovingly at me. I looked down, and the pastor opened the Bible and he told me, “Sex before marriage is a sin. Even thinking about sex is a sin. That these thoughts are coming from the devil. At my age, I know nothing about love and should ignore Sharon and focus on my studies.” 

 

After hearing that, I felt shameful. I felt dirty. I felt that I was a sinner. I went back to class, and I vowed that I'd never think about Sharon again. However, that's not how the human mind works. The more you try not to think about something, the more it permeates into your mind. I was thinking about Sharon more than ever. 

 

For the next two months, I wasn't paying attention in class. I was beating myself up. I was feeling guilty. And I even failed my exams. I just didn't know what to do. Then, when our holidays grew closer, we had a physics class. Something about our physics teacher, he was the coolest teacher ever. His name was Mr. Manza, or Manza Sensei, as he encouraged us to call him. 

 

During the class, people were sleeping, because it was after lunch and it was a hot afternoon. And so, he decided to have a commercial break. He had this thing where we take a break from academics and talk about other things in life, things no other teachers will speak about, stuff like how to deal with your emotions, how to resolve family problems and how to go through school even if you don't like it. And so, he said, “For our commercial break today, we talk about girls and sex.” 

 

Every single boy in the class was awake at this time. And he said, “You know, when a man sees an attractive lady, you can get attracted to her and want to have sex with her.” The whole class burst out into laughter. And he added, “I also get those feelings.” We laughed even more. But at this point, I felt that he was actually addressing an issue I had. It's like he was reading my mind. So, I opened my books and started taking notes. And he said, “There's some ways that you can deal with these feelings.” 

 

He spoke about masturbation, which he comically termed taking matters into your own hands. [audience laughter] He also talked about exercising, taking a run, playing sports or lifting weights. And finally, he spoke about something I hadn't heard before, emotional intimacy, as opposed to only physical intimacy. He spoke about the need to know someone for who they are, grow with them and love them. He also told us the importance of respecting women and building a relationship with trust. And finally, he concluded, “If all else fails, exercise, exercise, exercise.” 

 

So, our holidays were approaching. The first thing I did when I got home was to call Sharon. I hadn't talked to her for two months. We didn't have phones in school, and I forgot to take her postal address. She might have forgotten about me. But as soon as she heard it was me, she was super excited, and it just warmed my heart. We spoke for hours on end, and we agreed to meet up tomorrow at a coffee shop. 

 

So, I arrived 10 minutes early, because I didn't want to be late and I found her already seated there waiting for me. So, she was wearing a blue dress, blue earrings and her hair looked fantastic. She was super gorgeous. I just stood there unable to move, as if petrified. But she walked towards me, she gave me a hug and she smelled so lovely. I was like, “I'm the luckiest guy in the world.” 

 

We sat down, had a conversation and enjoyed ourselves. And then, she looked at me carefully and was like, “You're a bit different from the last time I saw you. You actually look more fit.” And I told her, “Thank you, I've been exercising a lot.” Thank you very much.