André De Shields  - When Iris Eyes Were Smiling

 

 

It's the winter of 1946. Very early in the morning on a cold day in the month of January, colder than a witch's tit in a brass brazier, [audience laughter] the circumstances portend something momentous is about to happen, when, boom, I was evicted from my mother's womb. [audience laughter] A prodigious 12 pounds at birth. I would later learn that the weight of the 12 pounds was the weight of dreams deferred. 

 

My parents brought 11 crumb snatchers into this world. Six boys, Sylvester, William, John, George, Jeffrey, André. Five girls, Desnee, Edwina, Mary, Carmen, Iris. When I was old enough to have an adult conversation with my parents. I asked my mother, “Mom, why did you have so many children?” She answered, “Well, André child, I told your father that if he ever put anything on it, he wasn't getting in here.” [audience laughter] “Mom, [audience laughter] is that really what you wanted to do, have so many children that you couldn't take care of them?” She says, “No, child, I wanted to be a chorus girl.” That's the term she used. She didn't say dancer. She said, “I wanted to be a chorus girl.” “Well, what happened?” 

 

“Well, my mother, your grandmother said to me, “Ain’t no decent colored daughter of mine going to shuffle her way through life. We barely shuffled our way off the Plantation.” My mother being born around the turn of the 20th century. I had a similar conversation with my father, who wanted to be a singer, had a beautiful tenor voice and he sang in community choirs and in church. His father said to him, “How are you going to be a responsible father and husband pursuing an irresponsible career as a singer?” My father deferred his dreams. 

 

I thought that somewhere in that mix of 11 children, the X and Y chromosomes of the deferred dreams of my parents would commingle, would coordinate, would collaborate, would consummate finally in the conception of one of the children who would manifest those deferred dreams. I'm lucky number nine. [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

My muse was my sister, Iris. I asked my mother, “Why did you name her Iris? It's such a beautiful name. Do you know what it means?” She says, “No, child. I just like the name.” Well, now we know that Iris is ancient Greek name identifying the Goddess of the Rainbow. 

 

Now, Iris was the first person in the family to see me. I mean, really see me. She recognized my kingly potential as I recognized her warrior goddess attitude. Iris was my protection. When the bullies would come after me after school, Iris would say, “Ah-uh, leave my brother alone or I will tear your head off your neck and shove it up your ass.” [audience laughter] 

 

Now, you have to appreciate that the 12 pounds I weighed at birth grew into a kind of jiggly belly. [audience laughter] Not because I was obese, but because I was malnourished. If you're not getting the right nutrition, if you were eating Wonder Bread and sugar all the time, your belly is going to swell. I would walk down the street and it would move, so they nicknamed me Jelly belly. Immediately after that, they shortened it to Jelly. Now, why Jelly? Because jam don't shake like that. [audience laughter] 

 

I would go to school with my books on my hips, just jellying all over the place. [audience laughter] And of course, the guys who thought it was cool to be dumb would come after me. Iris came to me one day and she said, “You know what? I can help you. Take those books off your tootsie roll hips, [audience laughter] put them in a belt, throw it over your shoulder and everything's going to be all right.” She was my protection. 

 

Iris was my inspiration. Iris introduced me to the adult life of blue lights in the basement. Iris taught me how to dance. We did the chicken, we did the Lindy, we did the Watusi, we did the Birdland, we did everything, and we did it strong. We would bop a loop, bop, shabap, bam, boom all night long and we made a pact, “Let's be entertainers together.” And we vow to one another, “We dance or we die.” [audience laughter] 

 

Now, we both wanted to get out of Baltimore. I got out by being the first child to go to college. Iris could not get out of Baltimore, because she couldn't get from under the strong hand of our devout Christian mother. So, she married at the age of 16, and that gave her egress out of the house. We kept in touch as I traveled and I said, “Iris, anytime you want to call me, just drop a dime. “That's the late 1960s, early 1970s. [audience laughter] Or, “Call me collect and we'll talk.” 

 

1975, I achieved my first national attention as the title character in the Wiz. [audience applause] 

 

More exciting than that, the Wiz did a three-city pre-Broadway tryout. And the first city it played was Baltimore, Maryland. So, the entire family came out. And Iris came with her two children, and we sat and we talked. We talked about the vow that we had made. And she said, “André, I'm so proud of you.” I said, “Thank you, Iris.” She said, “But my dream.” I said, “Don't even say it.” And then, we were on to Detroit and then Philadelphia and then New York. And then my phone rang and it was sister, Iris. And she said to me, “André, I hear voices.” I said, “So do I.” [audience laughter] I said, “What do your voices say to you?” She said, “They just called my name, Iris, Iris, Iris.” I said, “Do you ever answer?” She said, “No.” I said, “Why not?” She said, “I'm afraid,” “Iris, I'm going to come and visit you as soon as I get a chance.” 

 

The chance came two years later, 1977. I visited Iris after she had been visited by the big C. The big C took her hair, the big C took her weight, the big C took her breasts, the big C took her cervix. And she said to me as I visited her in the hospital, “Why me?” I said, “Iris, don't go there. You have two children who love you. You have a husband who loves you as well as he can. And when you go to heaven, you can take your dreams with you. Remember what your name is. Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow. And what do we know about rainbows? That somewhere over the rainbow dreams do come true.” 

 

[sings] 

 

If you believe within your heart you'll know 

That no one can change 

The path that you must go 

Believe what you feel 

And know you're rights because 

The time will come around 

When you'll say it's yours

 

Believe there's a reason to be

Believe you can make time stand still 

And know from the moment you try

If you believe, I know you will believe in yourself right from the start.

 

Believe in the magic inside your heart. 

Believe all these things not because I told you to 

But believe in yourself. 

You must believe in yourself. 

Please believe in yourself as I believe in you. 

 

 

[cheers and applause]

 

Thank you.