Carolina Ureña-Ruiz  - There’s No Crying in Crafting

 

 

So, I learned at a very young age when it was okay to cry, my parents made the very difficult decision when I was eight to move from Dominican Republic into the States. Immigrant kids, you have to work your ass off when you're here. So, I worked my butt off and I made it into a special program. I was in a gifted class, which I think is not allowed anymore in New York. 

 

So, I was in a gifted class by fifth grade. And for those who've been in gifted classes, I didn't know this, but they give you homework during the summertime, and I had no idea. So, I was in DR for the entire summer. So, I was in Dominican Republic getting my tan on, and I had no clue that I had homework due when I came back. 

 

So, on my first day of school, I'm rocking my Caribbean tan, all happy, like, “Oh, my God, I'm in a gifted program. I'm so smart.” I'm sitting down, and the director of the gifted program walks into our classroom and says, “Well, guys, so I'm here to look at your summer projects. I'm here to see your autobiographies.” And I was like, “No. No idea that I was supposed to do that.” So, she's going in, looking at everybody, and the girl next to me, we grew up in the same block in the Bronx, and she just starts bawling her eyes out. And I'm like, “I'm going to join you. I'm just going to cry. [audience laughter] Let's just do this together. We'll just hold hands. [audience laughter] I want to go home.” 

 

But I was like, “Maybe they'll give us a pass, because it's the first day.” So, I see her in the first table up the front and she's like, “Oh, you didn't have it? F.” And I was like, “No, I cannot go back to two immigrant parents with an F.” I come from a household where when I would come home with a 95, my father would be like, “Los otros cinco puntos?” which is like, where are the other five points? And I was like, “What?” He was like, “There was no extra credit?” I'm like, “Oh, my God.” So, I was like, “All right, well, I'm not going home, I'm going to just walk around the Bronx and figure it out until I find another household that wants me.” [audience laughter] So, I wasn't going home. 

 

But then I was like, “Okay. So, I have two choices. I can either hold hands with my classmate and cry our eyes out, or I could figure this out.” Well, my last name is at the end of the alphabet. She's going in alphabetical order. I got at least 10 minutes until she gets to me. Meanwhile, I'm looking at the snotty extra nerdy kids, which is a lot to be called nerd in a nerd class. All happy showing off their autobiography, so I'm like, “All right, I could do this.” 

 

So, I open up my book bag, I take out pink construction paper, I take out my crayons and I take out glue. And I was like, “I'm making this shit happen right now.” So, I put four papers together, I draw myself a little plane, because we flew to the States. My story, it wasn't that long. I was only 10, so it was really short And I got to it really quickly. 

 

So, by the time that I finished, the director got right in front of me and she's like, “Oh, the one crying. I'm sorry. F.” And to me, and then I just slip and I was like, “I hope she doesn't notice. I just literally did this right now.” So, I slip it to her. She's reading it, she puts a little note on it and she passes it back. I look at it and I'm like, “Yay. Yes.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, this may sound like a really silly story to most of you, but 30 years later, that is what guides me. That 10-year-old girl who was like, “I'm not going to let something put me down and I'm going to move forward and I'm going to figure it out.” So, to this day, when I see my choices, as do I bawl-up in a corner and cry and give up, or do I take out my construction paper, my crayons and get it done. Thank you.