Josephine Ferraro - The Spumoni Caper

 

So, when I was seven years old, my best friend Rosalynn and I used to love to go to Ferrara's Bakery on Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn. We would wait all day and crave their spumoni. If you've never had spumoni before, it's Italian gelato, but mixed with different flavors, and it's scooped up and molded into these little white cups. And we loved it. It was the best part of our day. 

 

Every morning, my mother would give us money, so we could get the spumoni. But one day, she forgot to give us the money. We were standing there in front of Ferrara's Bakery and we were just staring into the window. We could see Frankie scooping up the spumoni and putting it into little white cups. I knew that I could wait until my mother came to pick us up and she would buy us the spumoni, but I didn't want to wait. I wanted it now. 

 

So, I said to Rosalynn, “I have an idea. I know how we can get money for the spumoni.” And I said, “We will just wait for people to pass by, and we'll tell them we're collecting for charity [audience laughter] and we'll buy our spumoni. And then, whatever left over, we'll put in the pour box at St. Lucy's Church.” She thought it was a great idea. So, we got our spumoni, and it never tasted as good as it did that day. [audience laughter] 

 

When my mother came, I couldn't wait to tell her my great idea. [audience laughter] So, I told her, and she just said, “Oh, no. You have to go to church on Saturday and confess what you did.” I just cried all the way home, because I didn't know I had done anything wrong. I was also annoyed with Rosalynn, because she wasn't Catholic, and so she didn't have to go to confession. [audience laughter] 

 

So, for the next three days, until Saturday, I prayed every night, “Dear God, please don't let it be Monsignor Genoa. [audience laughter] Let it be any other priest that I confess to, and I will never do a bad thing again.” The reason why was because he gave out the worst penances. He was very strict, and all the kids dreaded going to confession with him. So, that Saturday, I went to St. Lucy's Church with my mother. When we got in, I put the money in the poor box, what was left over after the spumoni, [audience laughter] and I waited my turn to go to confession. I was really scared. 

 

My mother went into the confessional box first. When she came out, she just looked at me and she said, “Mm-hmm.” [audience laughter] I knew that that meant it was Monsignor Genoa and that I was going to get it. So, I was very nervous and I was tempted to run away. But I had been raised to believe that if I had died with a mortal sin on my soul, that I was going to be going straight to hell. [audience laughter] I was more afraid of that than I was of Monsignor Genoa. So, I waited my turn. I went into the confessional box. 

 

The confessional box is very small. There's only like a little door between you and the priest. My heart was pounding. And finally, he opened the little door. I said very fast, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last confession.” I was trying to think of other sins that I may have committed that week, but I couldn't think of any. So, I had to tell him right away about the spumoni incident. And I told him. Usually, they're like profile, you're looking at them and profile. He just turned around, and he looked at me, [audience laughter] and in a booming voice, he said, “You lied, you cheated and you stole.” My heart was pounding. And he said, “You will put the remaining money in the poor box and you will say 20 our fathers and 20 Hail Mary’s as your penance.” 

 

I walked out and I didn't look at anybody, because I knew that they had heard Monsignor yelling at me. I walked to the altar, and kneeled down on the marble step and I said my confession. I said my penance. It took me a long time, but after that, I never begged for spumoni money again.