James Fitzgerald - The Ride of a Lifetime

 

 

Growing up, the most influential person in my family was my grandmother. Not only was she our matriarch, but she was the problem solver. She was the one that everyone went to for advice, directions, guidance. And without fail, she always had the right answer or the perfect words for the situation. 

 

So, even at 5’9”, to us, she's a giant. She had this steel gray hair that I just imagine when she goes to the hairdresser, she just says, “Make me look serious.” [audience laughter] Because she always was. She was always no nonsense, very strict. Not just with her own kids, but with the grandkids. Pause. 

 

Background on me. My name is James Curtis. I'm named after my grandfather who died shortly before I was born. So, for me, I've tried my entire life to gain the approval of my grandmother, and let her rest assured that I'm carrying the name with honor and dignity and whatever knights or something. 

 

So, time back in. Our family is very close. So, throughout the year, we spend all the holidays together. Certain holidays are in certain locations. We always spend Thanksgiving at my Uncle Steve's house in Atlanta. He's the oldest of nine kids, her favorite. Very important time of the year. Typically, what we do as a family, all the Tennessee crew, we pile into cars, we drive down to Atlanta, spend Thanksgiving down there and then I'll drive back. 

 

This particular year, I'm 17, freshly licensed. I have a car. And I'm thinking, okay, I get to take part in the yearly tradition of driving down to Atlanta. For whatever reason, everyone has something to do, work, school, apocalypse. Something's holding them back from going down to Atlanta. So, I'm just like, “Okay, I got this.” My grandmother's like, “Oh, how am I going to get down there?” And I'm like, “Oh, I can do it.” She's like, “Shut up while I figure this out.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, I spend the next few days trying to convince her that I'm a solid option for this trip, but also subtly hinting that I'm your only option. [audience laughter] Eventually she laments, so it's like, I feel like Tom Brady after Belichick says, “Get in there.” And I'm just like, “Oh, yes.” So, the plan is for us to drive down there the morning of Thanksgiving, stay the night, leave probably lunchtime or whatever. The drive is like six and a half, maybe seven hours. Beautiful scenic tour as we go through the mountains of Chattanooga. It's very, very lovely. If you've never done it, find some time. 

 

So, for me, also, I'm trying to do all this preparation, good night's sleep. I eat some carbs, so I'm energized. All that good stuff the night before, but let's get into DeLorean and go back to the early 2000s. There aren't really Google Maps or GPS that you can reach out to. So, I had to get on mapquest.com. 

 

I go down to the public library to the closest computer in my small town in Tennessee. So, not only have to look up directions how to get down there, I have to print them out, so I can take them in the vehicle. My grandmother's done this trip a million times. I know she knows where we're going, but I'm in control. So, show up, ready to go. We'll stay in the past for just a second, I had to burn some CDs, so we have some good gospel music going. [audience laughter] If you don't know what that is, ask your neighbor. 

 

So, we had Kirk Franklin, Yolanda Adams, all the good gospel playing on the ride down. So, it was very lovely, great conversation. I'm already feeling like a champion. We get down to my uncle's place. Thanksgiving's great. The turkey is delicious. Everything's going splendidly. I remember sleeping that night and having a dream of being like a rock star at the family reunion as they crowd surf me for this success. So, I had a good night's sleep, wake up the next morning, plan is do the same thing, successfully back. 

 

We have a great lunch. They do some Black Friday stuff. As my grandmother's saying her goodbyes, I'm getting the car ready, still feeling good. We get in the car. We start driving back. We come to this geographic point, I'll just call it. I know it's important. It's an intersection or fork of I-75 and I-85. At this point, I'm also realizing I didn't print directions back. [audience laughter] But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's like, I'm somewhat confident in myself for this journey, so I'm like, “Oh, it's I85.” But I also have a tool to verify. I'm like, “Hey, it's I-85, right?” She's like, “Yeah, you know where you're going, right?” I'm like, “Of course, it's I-85.” So, take I-85. I'm just trying to recover to let her know, it's like, I know what I'm doing here. 

 

So, we keep driving, and I'm just pointing the conversation towards positive things that I've done. It's like, I'm on the honor roll [audience laughter] and all these other great things to get her mind off me, even appearing I didn't know what I was doing. So, two hours go by. I'm not really seeing the typical indicators that I would letting me know we're heading back to Tennessee. But what I do see is a very big indicator welcoming us to the great state of South Carolina. [audience laughter] 

 

I am very excited, because I've never been here before. I know my grandmother hasn't either. But I'm trying to split a little bit of this in myself, because for those that are geographically challenged, South Carolina is not in the correct direction of travel. So, I'm trying to hope that my grandmother's excited for this journey that we're on. I look over and there’s this hoarding, and I'm like, “Oh, crap.” She's very strict, and I'm like, “She's going to explode.” But I understand I need to pull over. I need to figure out what's going on. 

 

So, we've been driving maybe two hours. I don't know how long Atlanta to South Carolina is. I found out. But I pull over to this gas station. I go inside. I'm trying to build myself up to talk to this gas station attendant to tell him the situation, figure out what's going on, stay in control. Go in there, tell him the situation, he plainly looks at me and he's like, “In order to get back to Tennessee, what you're going to have to do is go all the way back to Atlanta. There's going to be a fork in the highway. It's going to be I-75 and I-85. What you're going to do is take I-75, you're going to go up. It's going to be a beautiful scenic tour as you go through Chattanooga.” 

 

My heart dropped, because not only is this information distressing, but I still have to communicate it to this woman in the car. I don't know what she's going to do, but I built up the courage, it's like, you got to make this happen. Let's make it happen. Let's go. So, I go outside, I hop in the car, and I look at her and I tell the situation. It's like, “Hey, we got to go all the way back. It probably is going to take an additional four or five hours before we get home. So, we're going to be driving for 18, 19 hours.” “Oh.” I'm thinking she's going to flip out. I'm prepared in every defensive posture that I can think of in the moment. [audience laughter] But what I wasn't ready for was her crying. 

 

I'd never seen my grandmother cry. Everything that I know about my grandmother presents to me one of the strongest, if not the strongest, woman walking this planet at this moment. This woman in the 1960s used to sell insurance door to door in the south. She knows some things, because she's seen some things. So, I'm just stuck in this moment watching these tears roll down her face, and I have no clue what to do. But then, it hits me. I've been in this situation so many times in the opposite seat with my tears running down my cheeks and her ready to solve whatever problem I needed to get handled. So, that's what I do. Hop in the driver's seat, I turn on the ignition, we hit the road. 

 

All those great CDs I burned. I didn't realize that the soundtrack for our trip back was going to be the random sounds of wind at 70 miles an hour, but it was very lovely, because we weren't doing very much talking. It was just more about the drive, that was the point for me, and just hoping she didn't disarm me literally and take off my arms. So, about 15, 16, maybe even 17, who knows at this point, a lot of driving. Finally, we pull into the driveway, and I'm thinking maybe she just built up this energy on the ride back and now I'm really going to get it. I'm just truly expecting anything at this point. 

 

She looks over to me and she's like, “I don't think we could have got back without your guidance. Thank you. I really do appreciate it.” She gets out of the car, walks into the house. I start to, back out of the driveway and start heading home, realizing that this particular trip may be over, but a brand new journey with my grandmother had just begun and I'm in the driver's seat. Thank you.