Susan Earley - The Return

 

 

I grew up in New York City, and I came to Colorado every summer from the time I was 6 to 16. Secretly sad that my grandparents didn't live in Florida like everyone else's grandparents in New York. [audience laughter] But I've learned to appreciate what I had. My grandparents were incredible people, and I was very lucky to spend every summer with them growing up. 

 

When I was in college, I lived here for a summer with them, and I got to know them as adults and it was a privilege and quite fun. We had a lot of fun that summer. My grandfather passed away right before his 80th birthday. I knew it was going to be really hard on my grandmother. Everyone else in the family had come ahead of time to help with the arrangements and the logistics. And so, I arranged my schedule to come and stay extra on the back end. It was a good plan in my mind, because I knew once everyone left, it's really hard. They had been married just short of 60 years. They spent their whole adult lives together. He had been in a nursing home the last two years, but he always had hope of getting back home. 

 

My grandmother, Grandma Jane, had bought him a beautiful blue Polo shirt at Ross' in Mexico and Colorado that I drove by on my way here. When my mom left, she said to me, “Grandma wants you to return that shirt. I tried to return it. She didn't buy it there. She doesn't have the receipt. You're not going to be able to do it.” I was like, “Okay, not a problem.” So, we get up the day after everyone has left, and my grandma's like, “Oh, we got to run some errands.” I'm like, “No problem. What do you need to do?” She's like, “We have to return that shirt.” I'm like, “Okay, let's go.” 

 

We were going to go to Village Inn afterwards, which was better than Perkins, but [audience laughter] still, I was more afraid of that than trying to return this shirt to Ross'. So, she pulls up to the part at Ross', and she's sitting in her purple Toyota Camry that she hated, because it looked like a Barbie car, but it was the color my grandfather picked out, because it was the cheapest one on the lot. And she says, “My foot is killing me. You go in.” I'm like, “No problem.” So, I go in. I have the bag, I have the receipt and this really beautiful sky blue Polo shirt that would match my grandpa's eyes. 

 

So, I knew, I thought, she has bought him a birthday present every year for almost 60 years. Like, she was ready. He left the earth a few days before his birthday, but she was ready for that with a present in case he made it. He wouldn't have worn it. He didn't wear a lot of shirts, but she had something new to celebrate with him. So, I walk in, and the cashier is Yolanda. I look at her and I say, I really need your help. She's like, “What?” I'm like, “Do you see that lovely lady in the purple Toyota looking at us, watching us like a hawk?” She's like, “Yeah.” I’m like, “That's my grandma. She just lost her husband, and I cannot walk out of here with this shirt.” 

 

She was like, “Okay.” I'm like, “Look at it. She swears she bought it here. She swears this is a receipt. My mom's been in here. We can't return it.” She diligently opens the bag, she pulls out the receipt and she's like, “Yeah, we don't even sell this shirt.” I'm like, “I don't care. Give it to someone. Throw it away. Give it to someone who works here. I cannot walk out of here with this shirt.” She looks at me and she goes, “How long were they married?” I'm like, “Almost 60 years.” She's like, “No problem.” [audience laughter] 

 

She takes the shirt. She's like, “Do you want me to give you money back?” I'm like, “Yeah. Can you pretend?” She's like, “Oh, yeah.” [audience laughter] She makes a big show. She opens the register. She slides the money across the counter to me. I put the fake money in my wallet. I go back out. Grandma's like, “How'd it go?” I'm like, “We're good. I got your $12.” She's like, “Awesome.” Pull it out of my wallet. I give it to her. 

 

We go home. We're reading our books, enjoying the day. My mom calls. And of course, you know when you're having that conversation where you can't say what you want to say, because you're in the room with someone else you don't want to hear? And my mom's like, “I can't believe you did that. How did you do that?” I'm like, “You're right.” I said, it was tricky. She goes, “What do you mean?” I'm like, “Well, you're right.” [audience laughter] She's like, “What are you talking about?” She's like, “Oh, you're in the room with grandma?” I'm like, “Exactly.” [audience laughter] And she says, “So, she didn't buy it at Ross'?” I was like, “No.” “And that wasn't the receipt?” I was like, “Correct.” [audience laughter] 

 

 

She's like, “But Grandma said you got it returned and you gave her the money.” I'm like, “Exactly.” [audience laughter] And all of a sudden, you can see the light bulb over the phone and my mom go off, she's like, “Oh, my God, you gave her your money?” I'm like, “Right.” [audience laughter] Because it was about not leaving that shirt in the bag in the car, because that was a shirt that the love of her life, when she walked in the room, those blue eyes lit up and she didn't want it, and I made sure she didn't have it. Thank you.