Robin Frankel - The Princess and the Queen

 

It was 1998, Columbus Day. I was sleeping late. It was a holiday. And my mother-in-law's husband called the house phone. For those of you who don't know what that is, that's a phone [audience chuckles] that rings in the house but you can't take it outside. [audience laughter] And my stepfather basically said, he said, his name is Bob, "Robin, I'm so sorry I woke you up, but they seem to tell me that I just won the Nobel Prize in Medicine." Bob was a pharmacologist at Downstate, and he had been given a lot of awards. So, this was not a tremendous surprise. Although, okay, come on, it's a huge surprise when somebody, you know, wins the Nobel Prize. So, I was like, "What? Oh my God."

 

Okay. So, fast forward to, “Can I go to Sweden to meet the King and the Queen? I'm Princess of Westchester. [audience laughter] Can I go?” So, in the end, each Nobel laureate is allowed to bring 40 people, [audience reaction] believe it or not. Fast forward to the plane, where I'm on the plane with my husband, his mother and Bob. We're on the Scandinavian Airlines, and the pilot makes this incredible announcement that is like unbelievable. Everybody on the airplane knows that we have a Nobel laureate. And the plane lands in Stockholm, where Bob will get the Nobel Prize and the million dollars that he had to share with two other laureates, because they were all three named.

 

But nevertheless, we're heading to our destination. We get out of the airplane. And because I'm with Bob and my mother-in-law, all of a sudden, we're escorted into this area. It's like an unmarked door. Have you ever been in another country where you get out of the plane and you go through customs and you go through mayhem? I've never felt this. We walk in this unmarked door, and it opens up into the most beautiful receiving room. It's the Queen's receiving room with couches and tea and chocolate. And we meet, what is called, our attaché. Does everybody know what that is? I thought it was a briefcase, [audience chuckles] but it's actually a person who is assigned to every Nobel laureate. And our attaché is assigned to us so we can ask every stupid question, because we're going to be there for seven nights until the big night, which is the Nobel. 

 

So, during that time, I'm wondering, where is my suitcase? Because I have my ball gown that I had to buy with a train. You know what a train is? It's not what runs at 161st. It's a thing that you schlep behind you [audience laughter] when you walk in a beautiful gown and it's this material. I had to buy a gown with a train. My husband and all of the other men who were going to the big night of the Nobel were not allowed to bring any clothes, because the rule is you have to go to the King's tailor to get white tails for the big night. And then, door is opened and it's a glass door, and there is our Volvo Limo. We each get a Volvo limo with my suitcases are right in the back, and somebody hands us our passports. And we go. And the week continues. Then, it is the Nobel night. The streets in Stockholm are closed.

 

By the way, the hotel we were in was called the Grand Hotel. We were not allowed on the first floor. Arafat-- Some of you are younger. Do you know Yasser Arafat? [audience chuckles] First floor. And the third floor was Bruce Springsteen. We were only allowed on the second floor. But it was a beautiful hotel and I couldn't give a shit what floor they wouldn't let me on. [audience laughter] So, we get into our buses. We have beautiful coach buses. Each laureate has 40 people, an entourage. And the buses go through the street of Stockholm. No one is allowed to drive that night. So, everyone's waving at you. I am a princess, and I wave back to everybody [audience chuckles] as I ride in the bus to the Nobel.

 

We get there. And as you can imagine, the plates are gold, a real gold or gold plated or something fancy where they counted them, and the utensils and it is absolutely magnificent. The tables are rectangular shaped, and it must have been about a thousand people. But each table was identical. So, it's rows and rows of identical tables. There is an orchestra in the middle, and the orchestra is playing along with the wait service. It's unbelievable. So, you have the guy who's standing there with the-- What's that called? Yeah, the baton. And the waiters come in.

 

I have to go to the bathroom really quickly, so I run out and I come back in, and I am the only one left who's coming to my table. I realize the orchestra has started. That means the waitstaff has started. That means my waiter is coming and all the waiters. I look to my left and my right, there's 30 waiters waiting for me to sit down. So, I sit down and they serve that dish. It is time to meet the Queen.

 

The whole week everybody has said, "Don't touch the Queen. You don't touch the Queen. The Queen is on a red carpet with red velvet ropes. You don't touch the Queen.” That's a rule that everybody knows. But we get to meet the Queen, because my husband and my mother-in-law and my stepfather win the Nobel Prize. So, I get to meet the Queen. There's two guards on each side of her. You're supposed to go up there and you're supposed to curtsy or bow or what have you.

 

I just look at her, and she's magnificent. She's beautiful, but she's warm. She's just emoting this unbelievable feeling. I just do what comes natural to me. I go, "Come here." [audience laughter] I grab her and I see her hand go up, because the guards-- She says, "This is okay. This is okay." And I recognize finally she knows that maybe it's her way of saying, "I know you're a princess in your own way."