Krisy Lawlor - The Only Lonely Girl

 

So, when I was 28, all of my friends were in relationships. Everything else was great. I had finished grad school, I had my first teaching job, I was exhausted at the end of every day. But then on the weekends, I'm like, “All right, I got to blow off some steam.” I'm single, I'm ready to mingle. I was the only single girl in New York. So, I'd call up my friends and say, “Who's coming out tonight?” “Oh, we're going to go to dinner.” “Okay.” Sunday nights were the worst. Sunday night is boo night. “Oh, we're just going to catch a movie on the couch.” “Okay.” So, then I was left seeing a movie on my couch alone. 

 

So, when one of my colleagues organized a Friday happy hour that fall, I was like, “Let's do this. I'm in.” So, I'm there, four, five drinks in, and I turn to the young man next to me who's a colleague and I proclaimed quite emphatically that, “I'm either going to have to learn to knit or read Proust.” [audience laughter] And he turned to me and said, “Come over to my place Monday night. My wife will teach you how to knit and make you dinner.” [audience laughter] And my feminist sensibilities are shook, because it's like, “Is this the future? Your wife is going to make me dinner and we're going to knit?” In my head, I'm like, “Eh.” And what I say is, “What can I bring?” [audience laughter] 

 

So, on Monday, I'm at their door with a bottle of wine. And just from inside the apartment, the smells are delicious. It's warm and it's cozy and lovely, and we sit down together and the three of us share an amazing meal. After dinner, she sits down with me and starts me off with a scarf. That's the most basic beginning. She's a very patient teacher. Knit, purl, knit, purl. The needles are clunky. My hands aren't getting it, but she's good with me. She's taking it slow. She asks me why I chose the yarn colors I did. And I said, “Well, this is a Harry Potter scarf.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, then for the next hour, there was some knitting, but a lot of Harry Potter fan love. And so, at the end of the evening, she said, “Come back next Monday. We'll do a little more work on your scarf.” And in my mind, “I'm like, [sighs] “Okay.” And what I said was, “Okay.” So, the next Monday, I was back. Another delicious meal. This time, I brought a dessert. I had forgotten everything she had taught me the first time. So, she's very patiently again, showing me how to knit. I add a couple more inches. Knit, purl, knit, purl. She's like, “Your stitches are loose.” So, I’m like, “The yarn's kind of itchy.” [audience laughter] 

 

And then, we start talking about our various experiences teaching English abroad. She had taught in China, I had taught in Chile, we talked about the places we want to travel, the places we have traveled, and kind of knitting, but mostly talking. So, at the end of that night, we didn't have to check in. We just knew we'd be back again for another week. And this time, my stitches were too tight, but you know-- [audience laughter] 

 

She starts to tell me about how she grew up on the West Coast. She lived with her grandmother, who was a talent booking agent for Elvis’ impersonators. So, she grew up surrounded by all these Elvis’ and it was quirky and just weird and I was loving every minute of it. And so, we proceeded like this. Every Monday, I'd add a couple of inches and we would talk. 

 

And much later that fall, maybe beginning of winter, she tells me that, in fact, the whole thing had been a setup, that she had tasked her husband with bringing home a friend. She had moved across the country for him to take a new job. She didn't have a job. She was looking. And in the meantime, she didn't know where to begin meeting people, and she was lonely. So, he was a matchmaker, and he did a really good job. I'm like, “Wait, but you're in a relationship. How can you be lonely?” It had never occurred to me before that I was not the only lonely girl in New York. 

 

So, eight years later, I have about three feet [audience laughter] of a very amateurly knitted scarf. I'm never going to finish it. I don't like knitting, [audience laughter] but I'm hanging onto it and I've hung onto these friends and. And with very few exceptions, we've had dinner together every Monday night for eight years. Thank you.