Francesca Hays - The Mettle to the Pedal

 

 

It was my deepest, darkest secret. It was one that got more and more shameful with every passing year. I was 22, and I didn't know how to ride a bicycle. Nobody knew this about me, because I kept it secret. I didn't want anyone to find out my shameful secret. I avoided bikes at all costs. So, no one really did. 

 

I didn't think about it very often. But that spring I was in college, and I would walk to campus and I would see classmates whizzing past me on their bikes. I was jealous that they were getting there so quickly. And I thought to myself, maybe I could learn, ha-ha-ha. And then, I thought, well, maybe I could learn, maybe it's possible. And then, it became an obsession that I wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle. But it was a quiet obsession, because I couldn't tell anyone because they couldn't know in the first place that I didn't know. 

 

So, I started this process that I coined, observation, simulation and visualization. So, I would observe people on bikes to figure out the mechanics and how it worked. I would simulate riding a bike on a stationary bike in the college campus gym. I had read in Cosmopolitan magazine, very credible source, that if you visualize yourself doing something, you're 10 times more likely to do it. So, every night I fell asleep imagining myself on a bike, just flying into campus, riding straight into the classroom. [audience laughter] 

 

I did this for a while. I thought to myself, well, I'm the only adult I know who doesn't know how to ride a bike, but there have to be other people out there. That's what the internet is for, is to find other weird people like yourself. And so, I went online. And lo and behold, there was a forum of adult bike learners. I learned a lot from them. 

 

The first thing I learned is they had great reasons for not knowing. They were from war torn countries where they didn't have bicycles in their childhood, or they had been a part of very conservative religions where girls couldn't ride bikes and now they wanted to learn. I had no good reason and I just felt more ashamed. But I got good tips from them, like to use a little bit of a hill and that gravity would help balance the bike and to use a bike that was a little bit too small for you. 

 

I realized I really had to get on a bike. So, I needed to tell someone, because I had to get a bike. So, I selected my friend, Carol, because I think any young person named Carol is a trustworthy person. [audience laughter] And she is. She's also that friend that just takes care of things, like she just can handle it. And so, in one breath, I confessed to her that I didn't know how to ride a bike and I wanted to learn. I told her about the online people and what they said. And she said, “Okay, I'll come by tomorrow.” 

 

I didn't really know what that meant, but she showed up the next day just like a Carol would. [audience laughter] With her, she had a big, huge, purple, enormous helmet and the littlest turquoise bike I've ever seen. It was a Mongoose, and it had the words Little Thunder splashed across [audience laughter] the top tube. I knew that this was my chance. I looked at Little Thunder and I thought, okay, we're doing this. 

 

So, the next night, that was warm and dry. I took out Little Thunder and the purple helmet, because I promised Carol-- You keep a promise to someone named Carol. I went to the slope, because the online people said so. I put one foot on the pedal on Little Thunder and I cruised down and I balanced. It was actually really easy. I was surprised, so I did that a few more times. And then, I put both feet on the pedals and I was still balancing and I was shocked. 

 

And so, then I thought, well, the next time I do this, I'm just going to pedal and see what happens. And to my surprise, when you pedal on a bike, it just balances all by itself and you don't have to do anything. You're riding a bike if you're pedaling the bike. So, all of a sudden, I was riding a bike and I was like, “Oh my God, I'm riding a bike.” I was laughing and I was crying and I said out loud to myself, “I'm riding a bike.” It's also 3 o'clock in the morning, because [audience laughter] I am 5’ 9”, 150 pounds, 22 years old. I cannot have people see me with the purple helmet on the tiny turquoise bike. I can't let anyone see this process. So, I finally got it. There's no one out there. 

 

I feel at 22 the way a five-year-old looks when they're learning how to ride a bike. I felt so free. I thought there was something stuck in my helmet. And then, I realized it was the sound of wind passing my face. I'd never heard that before. It was so exciting. But it was wild out there, because I'd never done this before. So, my steering was all over the place. I didn't know how to stop because Carol, bless her heart, didn't tell me those levers were brakes. So, when I wanted to stop. 

 

When I was getting close to the bigger street, I would just skid with my sneakers. And that wouldn't really do it. So, I would just hurl myself off the bike [audience laughter] and just bail completely. I'm sure I was getting hurt, but I didn't care. Pain was no match for my adrenaline. I was on cloud nine. It was fine that I was so wild out there on that path, just careening around, because it was so late and there was no one else out, except for then there was someone else out. 

 

There was a guy on his bike coming towards me, and he was helmet free and looking really in control and I'm on Little Thunder with the purple helmet. He's coming towards me, and I realize I don't know how to steer at all. So, I'm just praying that I don't crash into him. We pass each other and we don't crash, thank God. But under his breath, he says to me, “You know, if you're that drunk, you shouldn't be riding a bike.” [audience laughter] 

 

I realized in that moment that hipster bike police guy was my first witness. And he said I was riding a bike and I was doing it. [audience laughter] I burst into tears, happy tears, because this asshole had told me I was riding a bike. So, that meant I really was. I realized that with the help of online strangers and a friend named Carol and Little Thunder, I found my balance, and I've never stopped riding since.