Grace Topinka - Shifting Gears

 

 

When I was 16, I decided that I wanted to learn how to drive stick shift, because I thought it would make me cooler. Also, stick shift cars tend to be cheaper. I had this fear that if I was ever kidnapped and the only getaway vehicle was like a six speed Jeep Liberty, I should know how to drive it. [audience laughter] I was thinking about this, because my parents had told me that they were going to get me a car, because my dad and I had both started new jobs, and our schedules were just like so crazy that they decided it needed to happen. This was a very important time in my life, because I was 16 years old and I wanted to prove that I was independent and capable, and having a car was like a huge part of that. 

 

I was a pretty confident driver. I felt like I was a good driver and a quick learner. So, I was like, “Oh, stick shift? That should be easy.” Not to mention my dad and the used car salesman were like, “Oh, driving stick is easy. The hardest part is just getting the car in first gear. After that, everything's basically the same.” I was like, “Cool. That sounds cool.” And then, I learned that [audience laughter] getting the car in first gear means making the car move [audience laughter] at all. So, I feel like they really downplayed the importance of being able to do that. [audience laughter] 

 

So, my dad took me to this quiet street in my neighborhood. The first thing he taught me was how to go in reverse. It's not that hard to reverse in a stick shift. It's basically the same as in a regular car. So, I got that really quick. I was like, “Wow, I'm amazing at this.” [audience laughter] And he was like, “Great. Now, we have to go forward.” He basically taught me it's all about the balance. You have to release the clutch and push down on the gas pedal, but with perfect timing and balance. He seemed to think that I could just feel it, because he could just feel it. He had learned how to dry stick 45 years ago. [audience laughter] 

 

So, 45 minutes passed, and I had not felt anything. [audience laughter] I could not get this car to move if my life depended on it. The worst part was that, because I kept having to restart the car, my dad was like, “We should turn off the AC, because it's not good for the AC to be turning on and off,” which is the most dad thing ever. [audience laughter] But this was in Miami in 87-degree weather. [audience laughter] So, we were sweating bullets. I was crying. I was so frustrating. I was like, “Is there a return policy on a car? I can't drive this.” 

 

My dad was trying to make me feel better. He was like, “Grace, millions of people drive stick shift every day.” [audience laughter] And I was like, “Great. I'm so happy for them.” [audience laughter] He was like, “If you drive this car half a block, I'll drive you home.” So, I put the car in reverse, and reverse half a block [audience laughter] and he drove me home. That is basically how all of our driving lessons went. And then, we got to a point where I had a car that I could only drive backwards, [audience laughter] but I had places to go, and so did my dad. So, he very graciously switch cars with me. 

 

This was fine. But I felt bad, because my car was considerably crappier than my dad's car. But then, I felt really bad when I was driving my dad's car and I got into a car accident. This was my first and only car accident, and it was a minor fender bender. No one was hurt, but I still had to call my dad and be like, “Hey, you know that car that you're letting me borrow? Do you like it with or without scratches on the front bumper?” [audience laughter] 

 

No. But really, I felt so guilty, because my parents had sacrificed a lot to get me this car, and my dad had sacrificed a lot of time and a lot of sweat to try to teach me how to drive it. I just couldn't. I felt all that confidence and independence I had felt just melted away. I felt so young, and stupid and in over my head. But I decided that if I was going to be rear ending people, I was going to learn how to do it in my own car. [audience laughter] 

 

So, my dad and I went out anytime we could. Because of our schedules, it was usually at like 06:00 AM before school or 0 o’clock at night. We would very painfully inch around my neighborhood. I was slowly improving, and my dad was very patient with me. And then, he realized something that changed everything. He was like, “You're being too hesitant on the gas pedal. That's why the car keeps stalling. Just give it way more gas than you think you need, and the tires will squeal. It will not be smooth at all, but the car will be moving and you'll be in first gear and then the rest is easy.” 

 

That worked. [audience laughter] I was squealing like crazy. If I was going from a dead stop at a red light, it sounded like I was in NASCAR, even though I was going two miles an hour. [audience laughter] Kids in my high school knew me in the parking lot, because I'd be squealing out of a parking space. [audience laughter] But after a week and a half, I officially became one of the millions of people who drive stick shift every day. I know in that context, it doesn't sound that impressive, but I was really, really proud of myself. 

 

That whole kidnapping situation, thankfully hasn't happened. But there have been at least two times where it's come in handy that I knew how to drive stick shift, so I guess it's been worth it. But now I know anytime, when I face a challenge or I have to do something that I'm really terrible at, I remember that it can be easy to go backwards or to reverse and keep doing the things that you're used to doing. But sometimes in life, if you want to move forward, you just got to slam on that gas pedal. Thank you.