Lori Tucker-Sullivan - Really, Diane, I’m Not

 

 

Okay. So, in the summer of 2010, my husband, Kevin, who was in the hospital dying of cancer, a stage IV diagnosis. He had tumors that were in his lungs and in his spine. And the ones in his lungs, we had treated successfully. But the ones in his spine didn't respond to treatment, and so he had surgery. The first surgery went pretty well, but the second surgery did not, and it rendered him a quadriplegic. So, he was in the hospital for about 50 days. 

 

During that time, we also had two kids, our daughter was in middle school and our son had just graduated from high school and was getting ready to leave for college. I was still working, and we had a house and all of this other stuff, life that was going on. And so, my day would consist of getting up around 09:00 or 10:00 in the morning, and getting the kids ready, and figuring out who was going to care for them and who was going to feed them and how they were going to make it through the day, and then I would go off to the hospital and I would stay with him until about 09:30 at night, and then I would come home and try to get some sleep, and then start the routine all over again the next day. 

 

So, this is August. He's been in the hospital for about 35 days. I'm getting ready in the morning to go see him. The phone rang. It was our landline, and there was a name on the caller ID that I didn't recognize, Diane someone. And I thought, well, I don't know her, but maybe it's somebody who's delivering dinner for us tonight, and so I'd better answer it. And so, I answered the phone and Diane said to me, “I knew It. I knew you were there. You're fooling around with him, and now you're caught [audience laughter] and I'm coming for you. You're not going to get away with this.” 

 

And I said, “Excuse me, [chuckles] who are you calling for? I'm not sure who you're calling for, but I think you have the wrong number.” She said, “Don't tell me I have the wrong number. I know exactly what number I dialed. You know what you're doing. You're fooling around over there, and I'm coming for you. It's up. You've been caught, and that's it.” [audience laughter] And I said, “Excuse me, lady, but really, my husband is in the hospital. I'm going to visit him now. The last thing on my mind is fooling around with your husband. I have other things to do. I really have to go.”

 

She kept on and kept on just ranting at me that I was having an affair with her husband, and she had caught me and she was coming for me. So, I told her, finally, “I'm hanging up the phone. And if you call me again, I'm going to call the police.” So, I hung up. Before I could get out the door, she called back and she kept ranting again. I picked up the phone, and she was ranting some more. And so, I told her again, “Diane, if you call me again, I am calling the police. I don't know who you are, but you have the wrong person.” 

 

Before I could leave again, she called again, and I let it go to voicemail. She filled my three minutes of voicemail [audience laughter] with ranting about me carrying on with her husband. So, I went to the hospital, did my whole thing in the evening, came home and slept. And then, the next morning, started the routine again. As I'm getting ready to leave, I see on the caller ID. It's Diane again. [audience laughter] I thought I could reason with her this time. [audience laughter] No, I couldn't. I couldn't. [audience laughter] The same going on and on and on. So, I called a friend at that point and I said, “I'm afraid to leave my children alone and be gone all day, because this woman is threatening my life. She is saying that she's coming for me. She sounds crazy. I don't know what's going on.”

 

And so, I planned to take my daughter to her friend's house. I was talking to her mom and telling her about it. She said, “Well, what's her name?” And I said, It's right here on the caller ID. Her name is Diane something and here's her number.” And she said, “Oh, I know who that is.” [audience laughter] She said, “That's Francine's sister. You know Francine. Her kids are in the orchestra and she runs the poinsettia sale every year.” [audience laughter] And I said, oh my God, this is-- I have to call her, because I'm calling the police on her sister. And she said, “Please call Francine first and tell her before you call the police.” [audience laughter] So, I called Francine and I said, “Francine, I have this very strange situation, but your sister is calling me every day. You know what our family's going through. She's calling me and accusing me of having an affair with her husband. And she says she's coming for me.”

 

And Francine said, “Please don't call the police. That's not my sister. It's my mother.” [audience laughter] And I said, oh, please explain this. [audience laughter] She said, “A few weeks ago, we had to put my mother in a facility, because she had very quick onset dementia. She is convinced that she is very well, but my dad has put her there so that he can have an affair with a woman. [audience laughter] I see from my caller ID that your phone number is the same as hers, except for one digit. We've been visiting her in the facility, and she's been telling us that she can prove now that my dad is really having an affair with a woman because she has talked to her on the phone, [audience laughter] and the woman just keeps denying this, but she knows it's true.” [audience laughter] 

 

I said, “No, it's me, and really I'm not.” [audience laughter] She said that they have tried many times to take the phone away, but she gets upset and she demands to have the phone back. And so, the staff gives her phone back. And then, half the time, she was calling and getting her husband and ranting to him, and then the other half of the time, we figured out she was calling me. [audience laughter] 

 

So, this went on for another several days that Diane would call me and rant to me. I would just let it go to voicemail. There were times I have to admit, when I thought about picking up the phone, because my day was really crappy and I would just say, “Yeah, Diane, we're going at it. It's hot over here. [audience laughter] I'm sorry, you're stuck in there. But I didn't. I didn’t. I was always nice.” I let it go to voicemail, and she vented. And then, in September of 2010, my husband passed away. One of the first people to come to visitation was Francine with her sister and a big fruit plate and banana bread. They felt so terrible about all of this happening. 

 

I told her, “You know, what I figured out is that Diane and I actually had some things in common, because we really were both just wanted to spend time with the men we loved and were both just getting screwed over by the universe. [audience laughter] And that was that. Thank you.