Wendy Paige - Peer Mediation 

 

Till age 11, I lived in the ghetto. My parents were all about God, education, God, music, singing, God. A whole lot of God. At the end of the day, they did everything they could to protect us. So, they had perimeters that we could not go. We had to be home before the streetlight came on. 

 

We moved when I was 11 to Orange County, New York, because we had a fire and it was at the end of the school year. It was terrible, but wonderful. We were leaving the ghetto. We entered into Monroe-Woodbury area, which was a predominantly all-white area at this time, 1993, I think it was 1992 or 1993. My dad pulls up to my school in his pickup truck and he says, “Now, go in there with those blue-eyed devils.” [audience laughter] He chuckles and pulls off.

 

So, I come into my classroom. I enter into the classroom and it’s an ocean of white students. I find my seat further to the back of the class, the only seat open. And the teacher had to step out to make a phone call. A student from the front of the class said the N-word. In my family, now you guys know what fight or flight is, but in my family, it was fight or fight. And if you didn’t fight, you were going to come home and have a fight. So, you had to fight, because that’s where we came from. Hard place. But I chose the latter. 

 

I ran out of the classroom. I started crying. The teacher came back. She asked, “Wendy, what happened?” I said, “Someone called me the N-word.” And she said, “Who was it?” She brought me in the classroom. She said, “Point them out.” I said, “I don’t know. They all look the same to me.” [audience laughter] And then, I realized I could be a racist, if that’s even possible but-- So, then the teacher asked the class, “Who said this to Wendy?” All the students pointed to this one kid. I changed his name, because I have 10 siblings, and they all made me change it because they don’t want me to have any problems because we still live in the same area. So, they all pointed to Dave Falte. I didn’t change it too much. Everybody who knows me knows who he is. [audience laughter] So, at the end of the day, this is my introduction to Dave Falte.

 

Fast forward, ninth grade. I’m probably right into the first quarter of the semester. I took a class called peer mediation and they taught you all the rules of how to solve a problem. I think they picked me out, because they said I was excellent. They picked out all the people they thought could be leaders. But I actually thought it was because I was one of the only Black females, tall, six feet tall. So, at the end of the day, I’m taking this peer mediation course. I’m about to get my certificate. 

 

And in this course, they teach you these tools for how to solve a problem. How you solve a problem is this, first, you go to the individual and you tell them that it is a problem. And then, if it still persists, you go back to them and you ask them to stop. You want to ask them more than once, so you ask them twice. And then, if it persists, now you go to the authorities. I had a question in class. I asked, “Well, what happens if somebody touches you?” And the teacher said, “You have the right to defend yourself.” I said, “Okay, that works. My dad would say that too.” 

 

So, it’s first period. I see Dave Falte. I’m about to get my certificate. Dave Falte walks right up to me and he says, “N-word, bitch.” I’m stunned. He takes off. I don’t get a chance to think about anything that I’ve learned in peer mediation. But two periods later, I was sure that I was going to handle Dave Falte just right. So, when I saw him, I said, “Dave Falte, would you please stop calling me a--” And he continued to say it over and over and over again. And then, I said, “You know what? Let me ask him again right away so I can get to the next step.” [audience laughter] So, I did. 

 

And he continued his chanting and laughed and ran down the hallway. So, I went right to the office. My school was rich, so I was able to write a letter and make a copy of it and put it in my principal's office, vice principal's office and my guidance counselor, and then I went to lunch. When I got to lunch, I realized that Dave Falte was cutting class, sitting on the radiator. So, I walked right up to Dave Falte and I said, "Dave Falte, would you please stop calling me a N-word B?" 

 

Dave Falte looks at me and he says, "Wow, your necklace. It says love on it." I look down and he pulls a hair off of my chest. At this point, the principal comes over. The vice principal, he comes over and says, "Hey, guys, you got to get off the radiator." And then I do not realize it, but I am going into shock, because-- But how do I know I was going into shock? My friend Renee was behind me, and she goes, [in slow motion] "Hey, Wendy, I got you a cookie." [audience laughter] So, I was hearing in slow motion. [audience laughter] Then I hear the vice principal say, "Hey, guys, you got to get off the radiator." I look at the vice principal and I say, "He touched me." 

 

Well, Dave Falte is standing there. He has long hair. I put my hands in his hair. I figured that is a spot of weakness, right? I took his hair and I proceeded to take his head. It was bad. [audience laughter] It was really bad. [spectator whistles] But we ended up on the floor, because his football player friend, like, threw me onto. But I do not remember all this. Now, I want to tell you, guys, I do not condone violence at all in any way. So, I do not actually remember all this, but this is a famous fight in Monroe-Woodbury. I think all my siblings got, like, pulled out of school that day. 

 

But at the end of the day, I am on the floor and I look up and I see the only African-American staff member of Monroe-Woodbury of 1,500 students. I realize that he is giving me a few more seconds to whip Dave Falte’s ass. [audience laughter] So, at some point, I get up, I float to the principal’s office. I am in the principal’s office. The principal is asking me like, "What happened? What happened?" And I am like, "I do not know. I do not know." And then I said, "Oh, I left a note in your mailbox." He got the note. I did not get in trouble. Dave Falte got suspended. I did not. 

 

But fast forward, like, 10 years later, I hear, "Wendy!" I turn around, and it is Dave Falte. And Dave Falte goes, "Wendy!" He has got his arms out wide like he wants a hug. And I am like, “I am going to hug Dave Falte.” [audience laughter] So, we hug. And he says, "Honey, honey, come over here. This is the girl that whipped my ass in high school." She shook my hand like I was the president. [audience laughter] I do not know. I do not believe in violence. Peer mediation works. But every once in a while, somebody just needs a good ass-kicking.