Horace H.B. Sanders - Ninja Costume

 

 

Thank you. I was 12 years old, and I got invited to a party. This was a big deal, because in October and it was this young lady, Tracy. Now, Tracy's a big deal, because I was going to church in my neighborhood. She was the niece of the organist, Sister Matthews. So, she would bring Tracy with her, maybe twice a week. It was a big deal for me, because she was about three years older than me. She was really pretty, fine to me at 12. But I could impress her, because by her only coming twice a week, only seeing me two times out the month, I could wear that one suit I had. [audience laughter] Every other Sunday at church and she figured I had a bunch of them. 

 

So, Tracy is having this birthday party right around in the middle of October, so she's going to make it a costume party. So, all of my cousins go to church too. They're like, “Hey, we're all going to go.” Because I grew up on the east side, she's way on the west side, which is a big deal to me back then. My parents didn't do a lot of traveling on the west side. So, hey, it seemed like out of town to me. [audience laughter] We got on 94, and it said Chicago West. I thought Chicago was over that side of the [unintelligible [00:03:46] [audience laughter] “When are we ever going to go to Chicago?” “It's right over there.” [audience laughter] Always in Detroit. [audience laughter] 

 

So, she's having this party, right? So, I found out it's a costume party. I'm talking to my cousins. I'm the youngest of them. I'm like, “Hey, y'all going. Y'all going to get a costume?” They're like, “Yeah, we are going to dress up.” I'm like, “Y'all going for real? So, I'm excited. I'm building this up in my head and I'm like, “I'm not just going to buy a costume.” Because every year before this, I was only Dracula. I would be Dracula, get the little widow's peak, which I already had. My mama would emphasize it. [audience laughter] I get some of those fake teeth, and a black towel as a cape and a dress shirt. It was pretty raggedy. [audience laughter]

 

It was sweet when I was 9, 10, 11. But 12, I had my own eye set one thing. I was going to be a ninja. So, I told my mom, I was like, “Look, let's check out ninja costumes.” She's like, “Boy, we ain't got no money for no ninja costume.” I was like, “What you mean? Come on, mama. It's a big deal. It's a part of--” “I ain't got no money for no ninja costume.” My mama had one of them things where she made you think it was different kinds of money. She's like, “You got some ninja costume money?” [audience laughter] I'm like, “What is ninja costume money?” [audience cheers and applause]

 

It's funny to me. Okay. So, I'm like, “I could do.” My daddy, he had his own business. He started his own business. From the time I was born, he had his own business. I was like, “Well, fine. You won't buy me one. I'll make one.” I was like, “I'll make my own ninja costume.” Now, I couldn't order it online, because it wasn't none of that back in the day. I was 12. So, I was like, “I'll do the next best thing.” I talked to my grandma, who we all call nanny, who was like 30 years older than everybody we knew. [audience laughter] No matter what your age was, she was 30 years older. [audience laughter] 

 

So, I was like, “Nanny, what can I do?” She's like, “Baby, you can get this dye and dye whatever you got.” So, I had these white pajama set, plain pajama set. It was like Scooby Doo or something. So, white pajamas with brown, blue Scooby Doo right here. Only thing black on it was the wrist right here, the waist and the ankles. So, I'm like, “I'll dye it black. It'll be black.” So, I dye it. I'm like, “I ain't got no black hood, but I can make my own hood.” So, I got some black material. I didn't know I needed black thread. I got white thread and so the hood. [audience laughter] Got some black footies. So, I dyed it. But the Scooby Doo was still, you could see it. [audience laughter] 

 

And really, if we had better lighting in our house, I would have noticed it was a dark gray. It wasn't really black. [audience laughter] So, I got my daddy's work markers, those marker lock, no permanent markers. So, I'm like, “I'll just color this all out.” I used about three of those permanent markers. So, then I make the hood. It's looking like Ultraman. If anybody got any old school people in here. [audience laughter] Big pointy head, totally different material. This don't match this. This all nappy, this all smooth. [audience laughter] 

 

We only had one family car. My brother was going out that night. He was like, “Okay, I'll drop you off at the party.” I was like, “Good. This is what you do. You got a date. Stay out as late as you can. That way I can blame it on you that I'm coming home late.” It was like, “Perfect.” So, I was like, “Stay out late as you can.” So, he takes me over there. I called my cousin before I leave, like, “Y'all going to be there?” “Yes, we going to be there”. So, I get dropped off. I got my costume on. I walk in the house. Aunties and mothers and all upstairs, because the grown people upstairs. 

 

I'm like, “Hey.” They're like, “Hey, baby, how are you?” And I was like, “Hey, is anybody else here?” I go downstairs, I look and see it's just Tracy and three other people. I'm like, “Where are my cousins?” So, I call them on the phone, like, “Where you at?” Like, “Our mama said we can't come.” I'm like, “What you mean, y'all can't come.” All I know is Tracy here. Then people start coming in. But nobody else is dressed up. [audience laughter] This October, I'm 12. We got guys coming in. Run-D.M.C. is hot. They got Levi's, Crease, Adidas, leather jackets, [audience laughter] Bombers, silk shirts. All they best going to school, first day clothes. And I'm in this ninja outfit. [audience laughter] [audience applause]

 

So, I'm in the basement. I'm like, “Well--” I can't get home. You know what I'm saying? It's only one car my brother got. It ain't no cell phones back when I was 12, so I'm just stuck there. I was like, “Well, at least, I got this hood on.” [audience laughter] I'm like, “I'll really be a ninja tonight.” [audience laughter] I'll be low key. I'll stay away from the food, because everybody's coming over here. I'm getting the corner by the washing machine or something. [audience laughter] 

 

So, then, as all the neighborhood people are coming west side, they like talking. They’re like, “Tracy, who was that guy? Who's that over there? [audience laughter] Is it a guy?” No part of skin is showing. Just a little ankle right here. [audience laughter] “Who is that?” And I was like, “Oh, they talking about me.” This is under the hood. “Oh, they talking about me.” [audience laughter] She's like, “I don't know.” Tracy was always real aggressive. She's like, “I don't know. Let me see.” She walks over, just snatches the hood off. [audience laughter] “Oh, that's just Horace. My auntie made me invite him.” [audience gasps] 

 

But you don't get the bad part. Then she was like, “And what's that smell?” [audience laughter] It was the marker. [audience laughter] Ooh, it stinks so bad. [audience laughter] I spent the rest of the party upstairs in the kitchen with all the grown people. And three weeks later, I still had black mark on my chest. [audience laughter] Thank you.