Fran Kras - Lost & Found

 

 

So, when I was in my mid-40s, I gave up my city life and bought a 5-acre farm in rural Indiana. It was pure joy. It was the farm I'd always dreamed of since I was a kid. And along with it came a whole host of challenges, but it has also come with many, many joyful things, the most of which is the herd of critters I've accumulated, which now is a senior horse, a miniature donkey, two llamas, assorted cats, the occasional dog and a husband. [audience laughter] 

 

But one of the most interesting critters that we had along the way was a cat that appeared the very first night that I slept there. Well, actually, we slept there. My now husband and then boyfriend brought sleeping bags and slept in the den in front of the sliding glass doors. And along nightfall, a little face appeared at this door, a very handsome looking cat, kind of brown with white features, but also carrying, I guess, a housewarming present, a little dead thing that he proceeded to wipe all over this door, [audience laughter] which I was sort of-- sat up in my sleeping bag a little stunned. And my then boyfriend says to me, “Well, welcome to the Franny farm.” 

 

So, this cat decided that he lived there and proceeded to move into our window box. He was beautiful, big and stout, and he was a brown tiger with white features, a white bib and white paws and a white chin. He had a brown head and a chin strap that went under his white chin that looked like the leather cap that a pilot might wear, so I called him Ace. 

 

Ace was spectacular. He was the barn cat I dreamed of. He was a spectacular hunter. He took care of all the mice in the barn, yay, because hello, I moved to the country and was scared of mice. [audience laughter] He was wonderful. He was there every day when I did chores. He came and went, had adventures I did not know anything about. Sometimes he was gone for days, sometimes months. He would reappear just as if nothing had changed, and I would always be so happy to see him. 

 

One day, we were leaving the farm, actually, to go to my birthday party. We pulled out of the driveway. And on the road was Ace dead in the middle. Needless to say, this was not joyful. I was hysterical with grief. I told my husband we had to or then boyfriend, but had to go home and get something to wrap him in and give him a proper burial. So, we did that. We went home, we got my favorite sweatshirt, wrapped him up, dug a hole and my husband put him in there. I asked him to turn him over, so I could pet him, but I did not want to see his beautiful damaged face. I petted him and we buried him and I said, “Let's go to the party, but don't tell anyone, because I don't want to discuss this.” And so, we did. 

 

The Sunday following this tragedy, I was out doing my usual chores and my husband, a very large African-American gentleman, appears looking quite pale. And I'm like, “What's wrong?” And he said, “Guess who's come to dinner?” And I was like, “Who comes to dinner in the middle of nowhere, Indiana on a Sunday night?” And he says, “Ace.” Well, in a matter of seconds, I'm having a Stephen King nightmare flash before my eyes. [audience laughter] 

 

I think, oh, my God. Vet bills. Are we going to have to go through this death all over again? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I look outside, and here's this beautiful cat sitting there, looking as majestic as ever. He hadn't always been so open to having me hug him and stuff, but I picked him up, gave him a big hug, cried, laughed. I couldn't believe it. There was not a hair on his head that had been damaged. It was a miracle. 

 

So, during the following week, we talked about this incessantly about, “I can't believe this cat. How could this possibly be? I touched this cat, I put it in the ground,” blah, blah, blah. And I got really silent and I said to my husband, I said, “I did something odd today.” And he said, “What was that?” And I said, “Well, I checked the grave.” [audience laughter] And he said, “What did you find?” I said, “Nothing. It was undisturbed.” And he said, “Well, to be honest, I checked it too.” [audience laughter] And like you, we laughed and laughed and laughed. So, that became just a wonderful part of the story of this farm. And from then on, we called this cat, a snot in the hole. [audience laughter] And the one that we buried and the one that we buried, we called dead ringer. [audience laughter]