Harold Cox - Impossible

 

I'm from Texas. We talk loud, long, and we're confident about everything that we say. These were definitely the skills that I needed when I was working as radio announcer on my college radio station. 

 

One morning when I was doing my set, I got a telephone call, which is a little unusual, but I got a telephone call from this guy who said, “Look, I'm listening to you and I really like what you're doing.” “I work at a professional radio station,” he said, “and we have a classical music program and we like to invite people to come and to sit in with us and to actually be announcers.” 

 

I stopped listening to him at that moment and I went into my own head and I thought, I have been discovered. [audience laughter] I am going to be a radio personality. I'm going to be wealthy. I am going to be able to leave graduate school. I don't have to be here any longer. And then, I went back and I was listening and he was continuing to talk, and I said, when do you want me to come? He said, “Tomorrow.” 

 

So, the next day, I went to the radio station. He again told me what he was doing, and that he wanted to consider me to be on the air. And he said, “Before we put you on the air, we want you to work with one of our professional radio announcers to learn some things.” So, I did. So, for about three or four weeks, I worked with this guy who taught me a lot about using my voice, about what the show was about, and etc., And then, he said, “You know, there are two things that you do that we don't do here. The first is that you say W, as in P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z.” He said, “Our call letters are B-U-R, and we don't say W-B-U-R.” 

 

So, I first thought, it's going to be impossible for me to unlearn what I've already learned. But I did. Eventually, I learned how to say WBUR. [audience laughter] The second thing is, he said, “Look, you have this banter with the audience, and we really like what you're doing. But every once in a while, you say some things that we don't really know what you're saying. 

 

So, for instance, you say, ‘This is not the only fish worth frying.’ I don't know what you're talking about.” [audience laughter] So, I said, you know, it really has to do with opportunity. You might have this fish, but then you might have a whole bunch of other fish, or you have this work opportunity and you have a bunch of other work opportunities as well. He said, “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not going to do that here.” So, I said, all right. 

 

Now, it's 45 seconds before I go in the air. The sound technician checks everything. Everything's fine. 30 seconds before I go in the air. I remember the things that I have been practicing now for the last four weeks. 90.9, WBUR. BUR 90.9. I say this when I get up in the morning, when I take a shower, when I drink my coffee, even when I answer the telephone. hello? 90.9 WBUR. [audience laughter] All right. So, everything's fine. 

 

15 seconds, I readjust my headset and everything. Now, he begins to count down 10, 9, 8. And then, he points to me, and I am supposed to talk. And he finishes up 3, 2, 1. And I said nothing. [audience laughter] Because for the first time in my life, I am completely frozen. I cannot remember what to say. I do not know how to say anything at that moment. And he said, “You've got to talk, because there's dead air.” I don't know what dead air is, but you’ve got to talk. I made my head and my mouth go together, and it came out something like, [onomatopoeia] 

 

And I thought, okay, so-- Maybe what I should do is just announce some music. So, I said, we will now have music by Aaron Copaline.” I do not know who is Aaron Copaline. The man's name is Aaron Copland. [audience laughter] So, then I decided well, maybe what I should do is just talk about the fish worth frying. I know they don't want me to do this, but I'll do it anyway. [audience laughter] 

 

So, when it's my time to start talking, I said, well, we're going to go out and catch a mess of fish. I do not know what I'm talking about. And we're going to cook them up in some canola oil or maybe some vegetable oil or maybe some Crisco. I do not know where this is coming from, but I can't control it and I am so scared. It just continues to get worse and worse and worse still. And finally, I pushed myself away from the place and I rushed home on my answering machine. There were messages from my friends who said, “Well, just keep on trying.” [audience laughter] 

 

Needless to say, the radio station did not invite me to come back and do it again. And I thought it was going to be impossible for me ever to find another job that I would enjoy. But indeed, over the rest of my career, I found many opportunities that I have enjoyed. And the thing that I learned about that was that radio station, as good as they were then and as good as they are now, they are not the only fish worth frying.