Ernesto Quiñonez - Going to Graceland

 

So, one day I'm doing the dishes, listening to Paul Simon's Graceland album, when the lyrics, My traveling companion is nine years old. He is the child of my first marriage. These lyrics speak to me in this subliminal manner that I could not describe, only feel. And my daughter, Scarlet, at the time was nine years old. She was a child of a union that dissolved. I connect with people I love through song lyrics. It just made perfect poetry to go out and live that line. I had to go to Graceland. 

 

So, I left the dishes and I excitedly knocked at her door. She said, “Come in.” And her room was full of posters of kittens, and puppies and plants. She was sitting in the bed with her iPad and she was building something on Minecraft. And I said, “Scarlet, let's go to Graceland.” And Scarlet said, “What's that?” And I said, well, “It's where Elvis lived.” Now she knows who Elvis was, because I played her everything. I played her Fania All-Stars, I played her country, I played her jazz, classical, reggae, I played her everything. And in fact, when she turned five, I didn't give her a Barbie doll. I gave her an Elvis doll. [audience laughter] 

 

She took that doll and she destroyed it, took it apart and then threw it out the window. And something like that was happening with this idea of going to Graceland. So, I went and damaged control and I said, “Scarlet, in Graceland, there's this room. It's got all these stuffed animals, and Elvis used to play music there. It's called the Jungle Room.” And she goes, “Wow, a jungle room. Why don't we just go to the Bronx, Dad? They have a whole zoo.” [audience laughter] 

 

So, I closed the door and let it be and I plotted. I decided that when she was with me, because I shared custody of her, when she was with me, I was just going to play the Graceland album. That's it. It was going to be the Graceland album. When we would wake up to have pizza for breakfast, it was going to be the Graceland album. When we came back from Central Park or the museum, and we’re going to have pizza for lunch, it was going to be the Graceland album. [audience laughter] When we had pizza for dinner, in the background, it was going to be the Graceland album. The Graceland album was going to seep into her DNA. And that's what I did. 

 

And then one day, she's opening her laptop to watch this YouTube video of this Minecraft wizard called Stampy that she was really into. And as she's doing this, I hear her sing to herself, She's a rich girl and she don't try to hide it. I said, “Ah I know that's from the Graceland album.” It's not Graceland, but that's from the Graceland album, so it's working. And I say, “Scarlet, let's go to Graceland.” And she goes, “Why do you want to go to Graceland so bad?” I said, “I think there's something there that's going to speak to me in some spiritual way and I want to go. I want to go with you.” 

 

She's not really into it. I can see how her shoulders dropped. And for some reason, I said, “You know what, Scarlet? It's very American.” [audience laughter] I think she put two and two together, she goes, “Is this a road trip, Dad, because you don't drive?” I said, “Yes, Scarlet, we're New Yorkers. We take cabs, but we can take a cab from the hotel to Graceland.” I said, “Nowhere in the sun and said, they're driving. They're traveling.” She goes, “No, dad, they're driving because they're looking at the scenery, so he has to be driving.” I said, “Well, that could be on a train.” She goes, “No, they're on a highway. The song says they're on a highway. And I said, “No, Scarlet, they're trains that go parallel to the highway.”

 

And then, all of a sudden, I realized, “You don't want to go to Graceland.” And she doesn't want to say no. So, she just cowers a little and smiles a little. I said, “Fine.” What happened with that day when I was doing the dishes and the song lyrics, My traveling companions is nine years old, was that it took me back to the past. It took me back to when I was a teenager, and these musicians and these songs would speak to me in more powerful ways than my parents or any teacher could. 

 

I remember when I first heard Springsteen sing, You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all right,” this gave me hope, [audience laughter] because if the Boss can get away with such a terrible pickup line, I can do better then. [audience laughter] It took me back to listening to Héctor Lavoe saying, “Yo soy la fama, y si tú quieres aprender, la manta te da la cama.” If you want something, you go to work, man. You got to get out of bed, man. You got to chase it. 

 

It took me back to listening to Roy Orbison in the dark, when you're 16 and full of self-pity and excitement all at the same time. In fact, my daughter is connected to this music that I love. In better days, in better times, her mother and I would play Scrabble listening to Bob Dylan's Rolling Thunder Revue. But it wasn't so much Dylan that captured us, but the fiddle player. Oh, the fiddle player. Her mother and I looked up who it was in the liner notes and there it was, Scarlet Rivera, Latina. That's the baby's name.

 

I think my daughter understood this, because when I would play Dylan, she didn't exactly like it. You can see how Scarlet would cringe at this terrible voice. [audience laughter] But she somehow knew that her name was tied to this guy. So, she always put up with him. But Graceland, she wanted none of it. [audience laughter] Nine came and went. Blink of an eye, 10, 11. By 12, Scarlet was listening to her own music. She always had her EarPods on, iPhone. Whatever she's doing, she was listening to music. So, I would basically play whatever I wanted. 

 

Sometimes she actually would make fun of my music. For example, when I first played Neil Young, she laid on the couch and she had her head dangling, she goes, Helpless, helpless, helpless. She said that Neil Young sounded like he was singing from his deathbed. [audience laughter] Only once did she ask, “Who's this, Dad? Who's this?” I got really excited because I said, “Earth, Wind & Fire, you like them?” And she went, “Nah, so, so, so.” So, I pretty much gave it up.

 

Then one day, something magical happened. I do not know why, because I wasn't listening to Paul Simon. I was actually listening to George Harrison and I realized that Scarlet was 12, but that the meter, the syllables of those lyrics were still intact. My traveling companion is 12 years old. That still works. The syllables are correct. And not only that, but Scarlet's now 12, and music is speaking to her the way that it spoke to me back then and continues to. So, maybe she'll understand. 

 

So, I thought, you know what? Let me go for it. My traveling companion is 12 years old. So, I knocked at her door. She said, “Come in.” Her room is now full of posters of Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande. She was doing a watercolor. And I said, “Scarlet, let's go to Graceland.” And her face just dropped like this again. I thought this had died with the Disney Channel that I no longer watch. [audience laughter] 

 

I think she saw my expression, my panic or my disappointment, my sadness, whatever it was that she saw, because then her expression changed and it became very gentle. And she said, “Dad, all things must pass. [audience laughter] All things must pass away.” And I got really happy, because that's a George Harrison line. [audience laughter] I don't know if that was playing, but she had always been listening. And more importantly, she was speaking my language. So, I closed the door, because there was hope. 

 

Scarlet is now 14, going on 15. And we also live in Ithaca, New York, because I teach at Cornell University. You have to take a bus to go from the campus to the downtown where our apartment is. And one day, about a month or so, two months ago, I'm on the bus and I saw my daughter in the street. She was with two other friends. They were laughing up a storm, and they were giggling and talking, being girls, being teenagers, as it should be. And it was freezing. There was smoke coming out of their mouths like dragons, but they didn't care. I felt very happy for her, but at the same time, I couldn't help but to feel this painful nostalgia of when it was just me and her. 

 

I realized that the Graceland thing was also telling me that, we lose them. As soon as they are born, we start losing them. First the onesies go, then the diapers go, then preschool's over, then they lose their teeth. You try to save the teeth and know for what they decompose, they just become stains. [audience laughter] And then, grammar school's over, middle school's over. By high school, the child is gone. 

 

And Graceland was me wanting to live out this rock lyric that meant a lot to me before I completely lost her. All my friends say, “Don't worry. Don’t worry. Kids Come back. She'll come back, she'll come back. You guys will be pals again. She'll come back.”

 

I know this, I know this, I know this. I'm hoping that some years down the road that maybe these lyrics will speak to her the way they speak to me or the way they spoke to me and continue to. And maybe one day in the future, the phone will ring and it will be Scarlet. She'll say, “Dad, I have reason to believe we will both be received in Graceland.” [audience laughter] 

 

And you know what? Even though the lyric will be completely ruined, the syllables, my traveling companion is 34 years old, I mean, it doesn't work.” I'll say, “Yeah, let's go. Why not? let's go.” I'll go to Graceland with my daughter. Maybe we'll see the Ghost of Elvis. Who knows? It could happen, right? Good night.