Michael Corso - Fun-raiser

 

 

When I was a little kid, I was a really active child. I used to run, and jump and climb everything and anything. But when I sat down to watch television, my parents recognized that I had a hard time seeing the screen. And overtime, I was inching closer and closer and closer in order to see the TV. Of course, they took me to the eye doctor, and then I had to go to some specialists and then, ultimately, I was diagnosed with an incurable eye disease called retinoschisis, which means the splitting of the retina. 

 

Unfortunately, on my 12th birthday, I woke up totally blind. It caused a lot of stress in my family and in my household. Some directed at me, but I was worried as a 12-year-old, am I going to be able to play with my friends? That's all I cared about. A little while after my going blind, my friends and I were hanging down the street as usual, and they said, “Hey, why don't we play Evel Knievel?” Any of you remember Evel Knievel? He was the crazy lunatic that would drive a car 150 miles an hour, and jump on a ramp, and go over 25 cars and break 100 bones in his body. But we wanted to do that. 

 

So, my friends were setting up the ramps and we were going to jump garbage cans. I went down to my house and pulled out my bicycle, which I hadn't ridden in a while. I come back to the area where we're playing. One of my friends says, “Are you crazy? What are you going to do?” And I said, oh, man, I'm going to try this. I'm sorry. Everybody thought I was nuts. I just forgot to think the same way as my friends. 

 

So, I get my bike set, it's my turn. I race as hard as I can. Frankie says, “Now.” I lift up the handlebars, I jump over the garbage cans, I land on down ramp with my front wheel, but not quite with my back wheel. And I blew the whole ramp out. Face down I go onto the concrete. My friends come running over to see if I'm okay. They turn me over and I'm hysterically laughing, how much fun was that, I said. Well, I lived.

 

A couple years later, I got to have some more fun when I was about 15 or 16. I went out to Long Island to see my cousins. They were motorheads. What they did was raced their muscle cars at National Speedway and they invited me to come and hang with them in the pit. I was in total excitement, because I love cars and I love their cars. One of my cousins had a 69 Road Runner with a 383 engine. My other cousin had a 67 Chevelle SS with a 427. One cousin that I didn't like too much had a Plymouth Gold Duster with a 340 engine. And my least favorite had the best car, an Oldsmobile 442 fire engine red convertible. 

 

I got to hang out in the pit with them, and I got to smell the gas, and smell the rubber burning, and be part of the chaos and the excitement and the fun. But the one thing that I always did in that pit, wonder and think, oh my God, all I really want to do is race one of those cars. Well, of course, that's not possible. So, my dreams stayed somewhere tucked inside and I went on. 

 

When I was 18, I moved on to go to college. I moved from a small town called Brooklyn to the metropolis of Albany. [audience laughter] While I was in college, I still wanted to keep my adventures and my activities, so I learned how to downhill ski. I then learned how to tandem rally bicycle race. And then, yes, folks, I learned how to play golf. [audience laughter] Now, you wonder, how does a blind guy hit a little ball into a little hole 400 yards away. I wondered the same thing. [audience laughter] I found out it ain't easy to do. [audience laughter] But what kept me going was all my sighted friends couldn't do it either. [audience laughter] [audience applause] 

 

And then, I was 40 years old, in the middle of my career. And out of the blue, the phone rings and it's my friend, Marty. And he's all hyperventilating. And he said, “Hey, do you have a radio in the office?” I said, yes. He said, “Turn it on.” I'm like, “Why? I'm working.” He's like, “Oh, no. Forget it. You got to turn on the radio.” He said, “I'm driving into work and I'm listening to PYX 106 and Bob Wolf is having a fundraiser called the IROC 500. EYE 500.” “Oh, what a cool name. But what are they going to do?” He said, “It's going to be a stock car race for 14 blind drivers.” [audience laughter] I'm like, “How the hell are they going to do that?” And he said, “Call them. Call them. They're on number 11. They only have room for three more people.”

 

I hang up the phone. I start going back to my computer. I can't think about it. I'm like, “Are they kidding? That is freaking nuts. It's going to be a demolition derby.” [audience laughter] I pause and I can't wait. I just grab the phone. I dial 476 WPYX. And the guy actually answered the phone. I never got a busy signal, which I never had happened before. And I said, hi, my name is Michael and I'm blind. He didn't even say anything. He just shot me into the studio live. I'm talking to Bob Wolf, John and Ellen live. They're interviewing me about being a driver in this race. And I'm answering the questions. And next thing I know, Bob Wolf says, “Okay, you're in. Hang on. We're going to get your contact information, and we'll see you at race day.” [audience laughter] I hang up the phone, I scratch my head and I say, what the hell did I just do? [audience laughter] 

 

It's race day, and all the drivers and their support teams, along with the officials from the track are in the infield. We're getting huddled up for a little quick meeting with the track officials. And they tell us the rules. First rule, it's a fun-raiser F U N raiser. You don't get hurt. Don't do anything crazy. We're just going to have fun. “So, every one of you blind drivers are going to be paired up with a professional stock car driver.” And I wondered, can they see? [audience laughter] We met and we learned that the place was going to be packed. 

 

They usually get 100 people at the raceway in Fonda Speedway, and they're all motorheads or mechanics and drivers. No one else goes. This day for the IROC 500, they had 6,000 spectators. We're all excited and nervous, and we go to our cars. Everybody picked a number, so you would get your car assignment. My car assignment was 12. I was so bummed, because that meant I was in the back row. In the front, it was 1, 2, and 3, and in the back it was 12, 13, and 14. I want to win this damn thing, and there's no chance sitting in the back. It's just not going to work. So, we're in the car, we hear the announcement, “Start your engines.” Everybody turns the key. I hear the engines going. And the gun goes off. And the race is on. 

 

The race is on, but we're not moving. And I say, “Jake, what's going on? How come we're not moving?” He says, “Well, it's a bit of a cluster. Everybody's in front of you trying to figure out what to do. There's left turns and right turns and spins going on. Just wait, you'll get your turn.” [audience laughter] Oh, my God. I said, I don't believe this. I'm sitting stuck behind a bunch of blind people that don't know how to drive. [audience laughter] Then I hear engines behind me. And if you know about stock cars at all, one of the features is they don't have any glass, which keeps it safer. Glass is the thing that could really hurt. 

 

There's no windshield, there's no rear windshield, there's no side windows and there's no headlights, not that I would need them if I had them. [audience laughter] but I hear engines behind me and I said, Jake, what's those engines? What is that? And he looks behind and he says, “Oh, that's cars 1, 2, and 3. They made the first lap.” “Jake, we didn't even move yet.” I was so bummed. It's a four-lap race and I'm down one lap. It's my turn to go. He says, “Okay, you can start going.” I step on the gas, and the gas pedal doesn't move much and we're crawling. And I said, Jake, what's going on with this gas pedal? I'm trying to move and it's not going. And he says, “Every car has a governor underneath the gas pedal. It's a block of wood. So, you stay at a reasonable hour. Remember fun-raiser?” I said, bull. Something else. 

 

I took my foot, I kicked underneath the block and I knocked it out. I put the car in neutral, I rev it up. Vroom, vroom. Jake says, “You're sick.” I said, no, no I just want to win. I've got the whole car now and I'm so excited. I said, Jake, just tell me where to go. Tell me exactly the directions. I will pay attention. He's like, “Oh, my God, this is not the rules.” I said, what rules? No one told me I couldn't kick the block out from under the gas pedal. They didn't even tell us we had that. He says, “Okay, go left. Go left, go a little right, go a little left. Oh, my God.” He goes, “You're responding beautifully.” I said, of course, I am. What do you think I want to do? Kill myself? [audience laughter] But guess what? He was definitely pooping his pants. [audience laughter] 

 

But I was going to be smart and listen to him and do my best. So, I tell him, where do we go? Where do we go? Come on, I want to win. He says, “Go left, go left, go right, straighten it out, straighten it out. You had a clear path. Go.” He says, “Go, go, go. You're doing great. Go, go, go.” I'm flying past a bunch of cars. He says, “Michael, go into the right, now straighten it out. Okay, you're in the middle of the track and you just passed a load of cars.” And I'm psyched. We're going, and we're going and we’re going. I feel the wind blowing through my hair. Yes, folks, I had hair then. [audience laughter] And I feel the dust blowing up off the track, hitting me in the face and being sticky. But I'm so excited, because I'm moving what I think is about 40 miles an hour, not 15. [audience laughter] 

 

So, he says, “You're doing great. You're really doing great.” He says, “You're holding the road in. You're doing the nice bend to the left the track.” Of course, bends to the left, it's a counterclockwise track and it bends into the left. I'm just following the contour of the track. So, I said, where are the other cars? He says, “Cars 1, 2 and 3 are in front of you. They're about 200 yards up and they're making the turn on the last lap.” And I'm like, “Okay, let's get them.” So, I start stepping on the gas, and I'm going and I am going. And he says, “Okay, you're good. They're on the right side, so stay right there, stay right there. Go a little bit left, a little bit left. Okay, now go, gun it, gun it, gun it.”

 

I fly past these cars. And he's like, “You're doing great.” He says, “Hold on, slow down.” He goes, “You're going 100 miles an hour.” [audience laughter] I said, nah. I grabbed my head. And he goes, “Will you please hold the wheel?” Oh. I grabbed the wheel. I'm trying to be cool. I'm a nervous wreck. Everything's going crazy. My heart's going 200 miles an hour. The car's only going 100. Finally, he says, “Okay, you're coming up to the checkered flag. You're coming up to the flag.” He says, “Stop, stop. You won, you won, you won.” I am freaking thrilled to my core. I jam on the brakes, I get out of the car, I stand there listening to the crowd roaring and then I hear out of the blue a car drive right by me. And I said, Jake, what was that?” And he said, “Get back in the car. That was the winner. I didn't think you were going to stop so short and you stopped 50ft short of the flag.” 

 

I complied. I put it in drive, I went forward the 50ft, not a foot further, pulled the car over, shut the engine, put my head on the steering wheel. I was so bummed that I lost this race. I shouldn't have lost it. But only a second or two went by and I realized that was so fun. That was so unbelievable. That was so sick. That was so dangerous. That was so stupid of these guys from PYX 106. [audience laughter] But, but I felt the same way right now as I felt that day, because today is 20 years ago to the day of that race [audience applause] 

 

I actually was amazed, because I actually realized I had a dream come true. I got to drive a race car. Woo-hoo.