Greg Audel - Finding My Village

 

I realized at a young age that I was a very, very lucky kid. Up until the age of 12, my life was pretty normal. But then, at 12 years old, my parents divorced and my folks were occupied with their lives. My mother was trying to adjust to being a single mother and figure out how to support a family. She was in a new relationship. She was learning to be a lesbian, which wasn't easy in Friendswood, Texas. [audience laughter] She wanted my father and I to spend quality time together, which we had never done before. She just didn't find out till years later that, it was always at strip clubs and bars. I didn't really have time to go to school. To say my parents weren't strict would be a tremendous exaggeration. 

 

Instead of going to school, I would do things that interested me. I would chase celebrities. I would sleep in till noon. I was in charge of my own food. So, I lived on frozen pizzas and hamburgers. That's all I would eat. I drank three liters of soda every single day. I felt sorry for kids who grew up with strict parents. I would look at them and I didn't really understand why they would put up with it. You know, I would hear kids say things like, “Oh, I need to check with my parents about that. Oh, I need to be home by midnight.” I thought that was really strange and really pathetic in all honesty. Parents were to be counseled, they were to be helped, they had their own lives to live. 

 

And then, when I was 14, I was accepted to the high school for the Performing Arts in Houston, which was about 30 miles from my house. I was very lucky that I became friends with a kid who lived very-- Within about 10 minutes of me. And his father worked downtown. So, we would often commute back and forth. I noticed his dad was a control freak. When he would pick us up, he'd be like, “Oh, what happened at school today? [audience laughter] Do you have any homework to do? Did you get the leaves out of the pool?” Man, and I asked my friend one time, I was like, “Why do you put up with that?” [audience laughter] And he didn't really know where I was coming from. And also, this friend of mine, he changed his clothes every single day. [audience laughter] 

 

So, one night, I don't even remember why, but it was a school night, and I had to stay the night over there. I'd only known him maybe a month or so. We got to his house, and his mother had snacks for us after school. I thought, well, that's quaint. [audience laughter] And then, she said, “Well, why don't you all go do your homework?” I thought, wow, that's interesting. I hadn't done that before. So, we did our homework, and then they had dinner on the table. We sat around. Everybody talked about what their day was like and what they did. And then, we went and played video games. I'd never played video games before. I worked all the time. I was working from the time I was 12, so that was interesting. 

 

And then, at 09:45, his dad came back to the room where we were playing video games and said “Okay, guys, you got 15 minutes before lights out.” I can't tell you to this day exactly what happened. My eyes filled with tears. We went to the bathroom, and someone put a toothbrush out for me. It's been a long time since I brushed my teeth, but that was pretty cool. And then, for some reason, his mother told us, on the way back to your room, leave your clothes in the laundry room and I'll wash them for you. I felt like I was in leave it to beaver. 

 

So, we went to my buddy's room and I finally couldn't help it. I was sobbing and I said to my buddy, I said, “Do your parents act like that all the time?” He goes, “Yeah.” I said, “Does your dad tell you to go to bed at 10 o'clock at night?” He's like, “Yeah.” I said, “Can I stay tomorrow night?” [audience laughter] He said, “Yeah.” He goes, “You know, my parents told me the other night that anytime you wanted to stay here, you could stay here.” So, I pretty much stayed there for the next three years. [audience laughter] And their rules became my rules, their punishments became my punishments. 

 

I told my parents when I was in junior high that my report card was none of their business and they didn't get to see it. I tried that once with my friend's father didn't go over so well. He saw every progress report. At school, they knew if I was in trouble at school-- It's amazing. I don't think this could happen these days, but they never called my parents, they called my friend's parents. [audience laughter] 

 

And then, as I got older, I realized this thing, rules, routine, structure, there was value in it and there was also value in being that person for others. So, as I grew older, my sister became a single mother and I tried to take on uncle/surrogate father for her kids. And then, it's just a tradition that's gone on. Right now, the kids that I'm sort of Uncle Greg are to are two or two and a half, four and a half, seven, 10, 13, 20, and 22. They know we're going to have a great time together when we go out or when I'm at their house or if I have them for a week. But homework's going to be done on time, their beds are going to be made, they're going to be polite to each other. And am I strict? Yeah, I'm strict and I am so proud of it. That's it. Thanks.