Diana Thompson - Dancing Through Life

 

 

I guess so, yeah. Hi, this is my first Moth ever. It's Thursday evening. I've just arrived from work half an hour ago. I'm standing outside this church hall in southwest London, in the suburbs, in Surbiton, actually. It's an event that I'm not interested in attending, but my mother was really keen on us going, so I went along to support. 

 

It was the open evening of the Scottish Countryside Dance Society. Does anyone know what Scottish countryside dance is? So, it's a very complicated form of dancing that has a lot of choreography that's based on different couples. It's all very symmetrical and very beautifully done, but it also means that if one of the dancers messes up, the entire thing falls apart, kind of. I've done it very briefly before, but not really. 

 

We walk into that church hall, and I don't know if you guys know, but deep southwest of London is not really as diverse as Central London is. So, the average age in the room was about 65. I walked in with my mom. Our entrance was very much noticed. My mother is my height. She's wearing jeans, and a very colorful top and wearing a white headscarf on her head. And in the very British polite way, everybody tried not to stare. Everyone was very smiling. 

 

A couple of people approached us, and they welcomed us into the space and they asked us to join the dances. Every single dance I or my mother took part in completely fell apart. The tea break happened, and I was like, “Yeah, we've got this. It's all right. People are not too staring. It's fine.” And I go and I grab a cup of tea for my mom. And as I look back, I see people approaching her. She's very nervous, because her English is not very good, which made the instructions of the dancers not really easy for her either. So, I got really worried and I could see her nervous smile on her face, and I just paced really quickly to stand by her and be there to help her with the English. 

 

I was just hoping that no one would ask that one specific question. But of course, everybody did, “Where are you from?” As a Syrian who's been living in London for eight years, I do long the days when I would say Syria, and people would stare at me very blank and think, “Ah, where was that again?” But it's no longer the case. Now, the questions come in three. “Where are you from?” “Syria,” I said. Everybody smiled and nodded. Eyes getting wider and wider in curiosity. 

 

Second default question is, “How long have you been here?” “Well, I've been here eight years. My mom has been here for about five.” And third inevitable question is, “How long? Sorry. “How did you make it here?” I would explain that I was a student before the war happened, and then my brother was here who was also a student, and we managed to bring my mom over when we were working, and we had to apply for asylum. It's complicated, but she made it here on a plane. I would always have to reassure everyone. [audience laughter] 

 

You see, my mom is an amazing woman. Everybody says that about their moms, probably. But she's been through a lot in her life, before and during the war. One of the many things that happened in her life was losing her job, because her architectural practice was blown up by a bomb. She lost family members, and she ended up having to be forcefully displaced in a country where she hardly speaks the language at age of 56. But here we are at the Church Hall in Surbiton dancing to the tunes of Scottish countryside dance music. [audience laughter] 

 

The music was about to wrap up. The evening was wrapping up, and one of the society members came over to check how we enjoyed the evening. Everyone was very sweet, because every time we made a mistake, everyone said, “Oh, no, it's all right. Nobody gets it at first. You have to do it for a bit until you get on with it.” And the lady was explaining about the society and how to become members and so on, and I was translating to mom. And I said, “Oh, thank you.” I picked up the flyer and thought, “You know what? Yeah, that's okay. We'll think about it and come back.” 

 

And then, mom pulls me my hand and goes like, “No, we're signing up now.” And I'm like, “What? Weren't you here? Didn't you see the mess we created? What do you mean sign up now?” She's like, “No, no, we'll sign up now.” And I'm like, “Okay.” Because when mom wants something, mom want something. So, we sign up. The dances are every Thursday. And it's been four months now where my mom shows up every Thursday to the dance. I try and do my best to be there for most of the Thursdays. 

 

And every time I show up in the dances, I make sure I sit out at least a couple of dances to just watch her, and just look at this woman dancing with a wide smile, messing up her steps and not caring and just enjoying herself, holding her head up high, talking to people in her very broken English, and connecting with everyone, and making friends and choosing to have the life she wants, no matter what. And I think to myself, if I ever turn 61 with half of her courage, I'll be so lucky. 

 

And then, last week, it was my mother's birthday. We received this phone call from the head of the college where she learns English. We're told that my mom was nominated for the best improving student in the class of English, and she is to be awarded in the ceremony at the town hall. And I'm 31, and I don't know if I will ever have kids of my own and become a parent, but you know that pride that people talk about when they have kids? [audience laughter] I am so grateful for my mom, because she got me to feel that even without having kids. I'm proud of my mom, because my mama does rule. Thank you very much.