Scott Gravatt - Buster

 

My son has always been a little countercultural. When he was in eighth grade, someone gave him a Guitar Hero video game, and he traded it in for a real guitar under the moniker dad. Real guitar heroes play real guitars. [audience laughter] 

 

When we moved here 10 years ago, he kept all of that countercultural aspect and found it in Portland in a way that Miami could not provide. [audience laughter] Well, number one, “I will be on my bike,” he said, “Forever, for all time.” He was committed through high school to riding that bike. It was a pain in the ass for me, because he would call me at 11 o’clock at night, not wanting to ride his bike home, and I would have to go get him. So, there was a couple of times where I begged him to buy a car and to get his license, and he just refused. 

 

And then came Zanna. Zanna lived in Beaverton. [audience laughter] All good stories start with love. [audience laughter] And my son, while I was sitting at the dining room table one day, said to me, “Dad, I think I want a car.” The opportunist that I am, 90 seconds later, I was on Craigslist. [audience laughter] Two minutes later, I had found a car. [audience laughter] And within three minutes I was on the phone talking to a guy. Less than an hour later, I was standing in front of him with my son behind me and $1,000 in my hand, walking around a 1994 Subaru and kicking the tires like I knew what I was doing. [audience laughter] I did not. 

 

We drove the car around the block. It was near perfect, and I wondered why it was only $1,000. And I asked the guy, I was like, “Hey, not going to haggle you for the price. This is a $1000. It's 250,000 miles, but still, why is it only $1,000?” And he says, “You see, there's this girl.” And my son, “Say no more.” [audience laughter] Totally got what was happening. So, I went to hand him the $1000. And before I did, I shook my hand out and I said, “$1,000 for the car.” 

 

He grabbed my hand and he looked me in the eyes. There was a moment there when we were holding hands, and he looked me in the eyes, and we had an exchange of energy and he said, “Before I sell you the car, there's a couple of rules, two of them, to be exact.” And I said, “Okay.” And he wouldn't let go of my hand. And he said, “Rule number one, my mom was the original owner. She passed it to me. We don't refer to it as the car. We don't refer to it as the Subaru. We don't call it the sub. We don't call it his car, your car, anyone's car. His name is Buster.” [audience laughter] [audience applause]

 

Still holding my hands. [audience laughter] To which I said, offensive pronouns aside, “We will call it Buster. No problem.” And he said, “One more thing. Buster doesn't have a CD player. There's no six CD changer. The AMFM radio doesn't work very well. Buster only plays one tape.” [audience laughter] I looked at my son knowing that this could be a deal breaker for the Guitar Hero. If you get in the car every time and Cyndi Lauper comes on. Not going to work. And the guy said, “I hope you like Led Zeppelin IV.” [audience laughter] 

 

This was a deal. I handed him $1,000, and we drove away with Buster. And for four years, my son drove from Southeast Portland to Lincoln High School and it served us well. He spent a couple of nights in the back of the car, going to assume drunk, probable deniability. It took him to the coast once. It took him to the base of Mount Hood more than once. It was very reliable. It was a family car for us. We lent it to some friends. We got him attached to Buster. So, you can see why I was bummed a couple of weeks ago when I went to go unlock Buster and he was gone. 

 

He wasn't where I left him last. And my son, who's in New Zealand right now, in school, I had to call and tell him that Buster was gone. And it felt like your family pet had run away, like your dog had gone and you couldn't find him and you didn't know where he was. All things happened. We moved houses and it's been a month. And on Friday this week, the Portland police called me and said we found Buster. [audience laughter] I was beyond excited that we had actually found Buster. I called Ransom immediately and I was like, “Yo, Buster is back. This is so cool.” 

 

Yesterday, my phone rang three times the number I didn't recognize. And the guy on the other end of the phone said to me, “You don't know me from anyone. My name's Bob. But someone sold me your Subaru. The title and registration was in the car and I paid $750 for it.” He explained to me that he was a veteran on disability and that he worked all summer long, so he wouldn't have to walk to work in the wintertime. 

 

So, today at about 6 o’clock tonight, I met Bob at the station, at the tow station. And together, we paid to get the car out of the lot. He took the car and he's 60 something years old and he shook my hand. When he did, there was a moment between the two of us. [audience laughter] I looked at him and I understood where he was coming from. He looked like he had seen some hard times, blue collar, like he had seen war. He looked me in the eyes like men of a certain age would want to do and he said to me, “Thank you. You will not understand how much this car means to me.” I didn't let go of his hand. Then I looked him right back in the eyes and I said, “We don't call it the car. [audience laughter] His name is Buster.” Thank you.