Pamela Mitchell - Bunny Hop

 

In 1964, three weeks before I was born, the Civil Rights Act was passed. My mother was glad that her daughter would never know a world where she wouldn't be able to go into a restaurant, or a theater or use a bathroom just because she was black. That same year, my grandparents, who were lifelong Baptists, converted to Catholicism. that's right. [audience laughter] They wanted their younger children and their grandchildren to have access to a better education, which in their mind meant Catholic, because education was the way to a better life. So, I spent 16 years in Catholic schools. 

 

I was very studious and serious. In fact, I wanted to become a librarian, which in those days was like being a nun for lay people. [audience laughter] But thankfully, I came to my senses on that one. But still, I had a very lonely childhood. I didn't have any friends. There weren't any other blacks in my class. But one day, the most popular girl in school, Amy Russo, invited me to come to her house after class. I was so thrilled, and I ran home to my mother and I said, “Mama. Mama, Amy asked me to come over after class. Can I go? Can I go play?” And she said, “Yes, you can go.” So, she took me over there, and she dropped me off and I was all thrilled. Amy and I were playing, and I was having so much fun, and I thought, oh, my God, maybe I have a friend now. 

 

And so, after about an hour, Amy said, “Well, let's go down the block and play at Betty's house.” And I said, “Okay. Great. Let's go.” So, we left, and we started walking down the block, and we got down to Betty's house, and Amy turned to me and she said, “Well, you can't go in. Betty's father doesn't like blacks, so you have to stay out here.” And she left me standing on the curb. Unfortunately, it wasn't much better with the black kids in my neighborhood. They used to make fun of me, because I spoke proper English. So, I pretty much kept to myself. 

 

But when I was 18, I got accepted to college. And not just any college, I got accepted to Harvard. This was an amazing thing for me and my family. They were so proud. I mean, my grandparents had barely gotten out of grade school, and here their granddaughter was going to not only to college, but the most prestigious college in the country. I was the first, the first person to do this in our family. But we didn't have very much money, so my mother made a list of things that I would need to go to school, like a dorm refrigerator, dish towels, a typewriter, which will tell you how old I am. [audience laughter] 

 

And a family meeting was called. All my aunts and uncles came together, my grandparents. They all took something off that list and bought it for me to send me off to school. But they were worried, because I was going so far away from home, so they had some advice for me. My grandmother was pretty blunt. She said, “Girl, you better keep your eyes on a book and those legs shut.” [audience laughter] “Thank you, Granny.” [laughs] My mother said, “Pamela, you know, as a black woman, you're going to have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. So, don't think you can fool around like the rest of those girls.” So, off I went with all their advice and love and support and pressure. [audience laughter] 

 

I worked hard for those four years. It was tough, but I finished. And on that graduation day, when I stood there with my mother and my sisters, I said, “This is so great. I have accomplished this, not just for me but for my family too. Maybe now that I have this Harvard degree and it's on my resume, no one can take it away from me. I don't have to work so hard to prove myself.” So, I chose my graduate school based upon the fact that I don't have to work so hard to prove myself. I decided to go to the American Graduate School of International Management, also known as Thunderbird, in Phoenix, Arizona. [audience laughter] 

 

Now, given its location and its specialization, they barely saw any black students, much less one from Harvard. But that didn't stop me, I was going to. So, I go to registration, and I'm standing in line, and I'm watching all the students, and they're going up, handing their transcripts over to the professors, and they're just checking it off, and they're getting their class waivers and registering and going off. This is all being routine. Everybody's handing check move, check move, check move. I'm thinking, great, no problem. So, I work my way through line. I get to the front of the line and I hand the statistics professor my transcript. He takes a look at it, and he starts looking at it and looking at it a little more. 

 

And I say, “Well, is there a problem?” And he says to me, “Well, is this your transcript?” And I said, “Yeah, this is my transcript.” “You went to Harvard?” And I said, “Well, yeah, I did go to Harvard.” He looks at it and he says, “Well, it says here that you got an A minus in statistics, but how do I know you really know statistics?” And then, he asks me, “Define for me sample space.” And I just froze. “I'm sorry. I'm drawing a blank.” “Well, it's clear to me that you don't really know statistics, so I'm not giving you a waiver,” and he shoves the sheet back at me. 

 

I said to him, “Well, I'm sorry I couldn't come up with the answer off the top of my head, but you know, I'm responsible for this knowledge, so I'll review my notes before class. But the rules say that if I have a B or better in statistics that you're supposed to waive me from this intro class.” And he says, “Well, I don't care about the rules. You haven't proven to me that you know this subject, so I'm not waiving you.” And with that, I was dismissed. It took a trip to the dean of students as well as the chair of the department in order for me to get that waiver. Although I made a formal complaint against that professor, the lesson was clear. It doesn't matter that you have a transcript from Harvard, you still have to prove yourself. 

 

So, I left and graduated and came to New York and began my standard resume building career, although because it was me, it had to be the gold standard, of course. And so, I worked on Wall Street for five years and decided I wanted to change into entertainment. So, I was talking to all the right companies, ESPN, Bravo, Nickelodeon, but Playboy made the best offer. [audience laughter] [audience applause]

 

It was the best title and the best money and well, the most interesting job. [audience laughter] So, I took it. And in 1998, I became vice president of international for playboy.com. [audience laughter] And interesting it was. Dealing with clients was very different too. Part of my job was to tell them what they could do under the brand in their local overseas markets. And at Discovery Channel, this was mostly just telling them what animals they could have on the video box art. [audience laughter] Not a big deal. But at Playboy, I get these calls from my Dutch client, “Pamela. Pamela. We need hotter content on the site. You guys, you're so puritanical in the US, but we're not that puritanical over here in the Netherlands. So, we need hotter content.” 

 

Now, for those of you who don't know all that weird shit porn that's on the internet, most of that comes out of the Netherlands. [audience laughter] So, I understood their need for hotter content. But I have to say, [audience laughter] I enjoyed my job. I had a good job, I had a good time. I took that job just as seriously as I had taken all the rest of my jobs. But unfortunately, the rest of my world, they didn't have that same attitude. My mother, she didn't tell anybody where I worked for the first two months. And my grad school roommate, didn't matter that this was an amazing job title and all that other stuff, she said, and I quote to a friend of ours, “I can't believe Pamela has sunk so low.” And my sister, the born again Christian one, well, she started praying for my lost soul. [audience laughter] 

 

But the worst moment came when I went to an Internet Business Conference. I went up to the microphone during the Q&A session, and I stood up there and I said, “Hi, I'm Pamela Mitchell. I'm Vice President of International for playboy.com.” The audience started to laugh. I looked out over these people laughing, and I was just humiliated like I used to be when the little kids would laugh at me when I was young, and I thought, oh, my God, this job is the biggest mistake of my life. I have worked so hard to be taken seriously. And now, people are laughing at me because of where I work. 

 

Afterwards, I was still a little off, but I was waiting to speak to the moderator. And a woman comes over to me and she says, “Miss Mitchell, Miss Mitchell, can I talk to you? I'd like to ask your advice.” And I'm thinking, oh, God, thank God. At least somebody wants to talk to me here. This happened to me a lot. So, I said, “Sure. I'm happy to help you. How can I help you?” And she says to me, “Miss Mitchell, I've just started going to sex clubs. I thought maybe you could help me out with this. I'd like your advice.” 

 

I looked at her and she's looking at me, expecting me to have answer about this. All of a sudden, I just started to get really pissed, like, “Oh, my God, this woman thinks that just because I'm a woman and I work for Playboy, that I'm going to know something about sex clubs.” And that professor at grad school, he thinks that just because I'm a black woman, I can't have a transcript from Harvard. All these people in my world who are all pissed off that I'm working for Playboy, well, they can't see past their own attitudes about this to know whether or not this is a right job for me. And all these people, none of them know me, and why am I working so hard to try and please all these people when they don't know me, anyway. 

 

So, I said to that woman, “I'm sorry, I can't help you.” I stayed at Playboy for three and a half years, and I did some very good deals for them. And to answer that question that I know you're all thinking, yes, I've been to the Mansion [audience laughter] and yes, I have met Hef, but that's another story. Thank you.