Chiwoza Bandawe - A Message from God

 

 

In response to the intercom telling me that I had a phone call, I walked down the passage of the student residence of the University of Cape Town in South Africa, where I was trained to be a clinical psychologist, and I picked up the phone. Now, this was 1992, and there were no mobile phones in those days. So, I picked up the analog phone and I said, “Hello.” And the voice at the other end said, “Chiwoza? Hello, this is Berger.” I was surprised, because Berger was a student with whom I had shared a residence, the previous year. I was in a different residence now, but I hardly interacted with him. He mixed with shady characters. [audience laughter]

 

So, I tended to avoid interacting with him. So, I was really surprised when he then said to me, “I have something very important to tell you. Can I meet you tomorrow?” I was really curious. So, I said, “Sure.” So, the next day, we met. I came out of the dining hall of my res, met this slim, tall Berger and we went to my room. When we entered my room, he said to me, “Give me your Bible.” I was surprised, because I'd never known Berger to have any spiritual or religious inclination.

 

So, I got my brown leather Bible that had been given to me on my 21st birthday. I gave it to him. He said to me, “Sit down.” I sat down. And then, he started walking up and down my room, pacing, praying, speaking in tongues, praying, praying. I was very surprised. Then, he came to me, stood over me and then he said, “Chiwoza, I have a message for you.” And I said, “Oh, okay. [audience laughter] And then he said, “It's a message from God.” [audience laughter] And I went, “Wow. Okay.” [audience laughter] And he said, “God has told me to tell you that He knows the challenges you are having with your girlfriend, and He wants you to know that He is coming through for you.” I was astounded, because it was true. I was having problems and challenges with my girlfriend. I had reached a point where I was thinking of ending the relationship. Not because of anything she had said or done, but I felt no emotional connection anymore.

 

I knew she still cared for me. I knew that my family and my friends really liked her, but I felt it was time to move on. The challenge for me was, at that time, I was very much a people pleaser. Hurting people was something I avoided at all costs. And so, I had struggled, I had wrestled with it for so long and here was Berger telling me that God had a solution for me. [audience laughter] I felt a sense of joy, I felt a sense of relief and I said to Berger, “I feel so relieved.” He looked relieved that I was relieved. [audience laughter]

 

And he said to me, “In a few days’ time, I'm going to come back to you and tell you the way forward.” With that, he left my room. Now, I felt very relieved and joyful over the next couple of days, but there was something that was just niggling in me that was not quite right. I had grappled with it. I had lots of questions. Okay, so, if God is saying to me, will God say I should leave her, she'll be all right, or will God say I should stay with her, then will I be all right? And then, why was God not telling me immediately? Why was God giving me a few days anyway? [audience laughter] And also, why was God using Berger, of all people, to speak to me? [audience laughter]

 

So, I grappled. I wrestle with it. And then, I remember one particular day, I went back to my student resi, one, I was in the previous year to check my mail, because people still wrote to me. And on this particular day, I entered the reception room. I sat down. I was going through the carton of mail, and Berger was sitting across. He didn't seem to mind what I was doing, so I didn't give him any attention.

 

And as he sat across, I went through. And then, I noticed that somebody who wrote to me regularly had not written to me and that was my friend, Father Lane. He wrote to me from Malawi, where I originally am from. I began to wonder and began to think, “Why hadn't I heard from Father Lane?” So, I decided, you know what? I'm going to phone him. So, I phoned him and I said, “Father Lane, have you written to me recently?” And he said, “Actually, yes, I have.” And I said, “Okay, what was the contents of your letter?” And he said to me, “Well, it was about the struggles you are having with your girlfriend. [audience laughter] And I was saying that God is going to come through for you.” [audience laughter]

 

And I said, “Uh-huh, gotcha, Berger.” And so, I knew Berger’s game, but I also knew what I had to do. I struggled with pleasing people or at least displeasing people, and I was also aware of the dangers involved because of the company Berger kept. But I didn't want to be under his grip, and I knew I had to confront him. And so, I went. The next day, I picked up the phone to phone him. But before I could say anything, he said to me, “Oh, it's good that you have called. I now have the way forward from God.” [audience laughter] And I said, “Okay, so what is it?” And he said, “You have to give an offering. It's an offering of 150 rounds, which is about a $100 today and a brand-new blanket.” [audience laughter] 

 

And I thought, “A blanket? Why does he want me to give a blanket?” Then, I remembered winter was approaching, and so maybe he wants to save on his winter shopping. Anyway, I said to him, “Berger, let's meet tomorrow.” So, the next day, I came out of the dining hall, and there was Berger smiling and he said, “I hope you enjoyed your lunch.” And I said, “Berger, let's go for a walk.” I didn't want to take him to my room.

 

So, we went out and we started walking. My heart was really pounding. And the words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat. As we were approaching where we had to part, I had to delve into his icy cold stare and speak and I said to him, “Berger, you took one of my letters, you opened it, you read the contents and you are trying to scam me” and I held my breath. There was this deafening silence.

 

Berger’s response was, “Me? Never. That's an insult to my Christianity. God sends me all around the world with these messages. How could you even think that?” And that, actually, annoyed me, because he was persistent. And a wave of courage came over me and I said to him, “Berger, don't bother. You're not going to get a penny from me. In fact, I'm going to forget that this even happened.” There was silence. 

 

We slowed down the pace of our walking. His hurt face turned into an icy cold stare and he said to me, “Well, you'd better hope that I too forget about this.” I didn't engage him on that. We came to the part where we're going to part. As we were parting, he said to me, “Well, thank you for wasting my time, huh? And I said to him, because I didn't want to give him the last word, “Well, thank you for wasting mine.” [audience laughter] And we parted. Our path never crossed again. But you know what? From that experience, I edged closer to conquering the fear of displeasing people that I had. I broke up with my girlfriend, and Berger never got his blanket. Thank you. [audience laughter]