Shaykh Umar Al-Qadri - A Man of Peace

 

A long time ago, before I started living in Ireland, I used to live in the Netherlands. In fact, I was brought up in Holland from the age of two. My parents were Pakistani immigrants. My father was one of the earliest imams to the growing Dutch Muslim community.

 

Growing up in the Netherlands, I remember only interacting with Muslim families. All the children I played with were Muslims, except at school. I once asked my mother if I could go and visit the home, the house of one of my Dutch school friends. But I was denied. When I asked her the reason, she told me, “It's because we are different, they are different. We eat halal food and they don't. It's not appropriate, because if you visit their home, you might come in contact with that food that we are not supposed to consume.”

 

I also remember that I had a relative who had non-Muslim guests in her home, and she served them a meal in plastic cups and plates. When I asked her what the reason was, being the curious person and boy I always was, she told me, “Because we are Muslims. And it's not appropriate for Muslims to use the plates and the cups that non-Muslims have used.”

 

I grew up in a society, an isolated atmosphere that engraved in my mind that I was different, we're different. And my parents were very worried that their children would assimilate with the local non-Muslim community and would forget their own identity. So, I was brought up in a religious solitary confinement, you may call it like that.

 

When I was nine, my father had a desire and wish. He wanted his son to become a Hafiz of the Quran. Now, you might wonder what a Hafiz is. A Hafiz is a person who has preserved the Quran in his heart, who knows the complete book, the Quran by his heart. I started my journey of becoming Hafiz from the age of nine, and the next two years in the day I used to go to school, in the evenings I used to stay at home, memorize the Quran. And at the age of 11, I successfully became a Hafiz.

 

My parents were very proud. I remember they organized a celebration in which I had to recite parts of the Quran in front of a large audience. A London-based Pakistani newspaper printed my picture and stated, “This is the youngest Hafiz in Europe.” I was only 11 by that time.

 

I remember my father was extremely proud. I remember the happiness on the face of my parents when someone would congratulate them that their son is a Hafiz. From the age of 12, as a Muslim, you're obliged to pray five times a day. Now, I would be at school. I, at the age of 12, went to the secondary school. I remember on the first day of school, I tried to find a quiet space where I could perform my prayer, a secluded place. I found a place and I started praying. When a Muslim prays, he kneels down and he prostrates on the ground, which looks a bit awkward. [chuckles] I hoped nobody would see me, but someone saw me.

 

One of the boys of my class saw me praying. As soon as I went to the classroom after the break, that same person who saw me praying imitated the way I was praying and started shouting "Allahu Akbar." Everyone started laughing. I felt embarrassed, I felt upset, I felt that, “Did I do really something wrong?” Everyone was laughing, and they continued laughing the whole day. In fact, from that day for the next two years, I was bullied at school every single day. It would start from the moment I would step into the school bus, and it would end until I would leave the school bus at the end of the day. 

 

I became a shy person. I lost my self-confidence. I did very bad at school. I used to sit at the back of the class and when the teacher would ask a question, even if I knew the answer, I wouldn't raise my hand, because I was afraid people might laugh again. I stopped praying. 

 

One day while I was walking towards the bus stop, I noticed that one boy who was very proactive in bullying me was standing with his friends. With heavy feet, I walked towards the bus stop hoping he wouldn't notice me, but he did notice me. Once he noticed me, he started mocking me and he started calling me names. He started insulting me. But on that day, he did not only insult me, he insulted also my Prophet, The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. I, as a Muslim, was brought up to adore the Prophet, to honor the Prophet, to love the Prophet. And I love the Prophet more than anyone else.

 

So, when the Prophet was insulted, I couldn't remain silent. I was so angry that I pushed the boy and he fell at the ground. When he fell at the ground, it was like all the anger for the past two years came out in the form of kicks and punches. I hurt him badly. Later on, I felt very bad about it. But that very moment, it really felt good. [audience chuckles] I was shaken. I went home. And the next day when I went to school, I was expecting to be in trouble. But I was surprised. As soon as I entered the school building, all the students surrounded me. Everyone liked it, and they praised me and they said, "Wow, you did a good job. Great, wonderful." Suddenly, everybody wanted to be my friend.

 

All those that never wanted to sit with me, now suddenly they wanted to be with me. They wanted to be my friends. I was very happy to be accepted. Now, I started assimilating, because I was so happy to be accepted that I wanted it to be like this. I stopped praying already. I could have prayed now, but I didn't because I wanted to be part of it. I started smoking, which is not allowed in my religion. My parents found out through one relative who called my mother once and mentioned that she saw me smoking in the city center, and hanging out with my non-Muslim friends. When I came home, my mom had a good word with me, and she reminded me that I'm a Muslim. I'm a Hafiz of the Quran. I could not be like the non-Muslims. 

 

I felt ashamed, but secretly continued smoking. [audience chuckles] My parents decided after a few months that that was enough. They decided that they were sending their son to Pakistan to learn about his religion, learn about his values. So, I was sent to Pakistan. Honestly, I was very excited initially because of two things. Number one, I memorized the whole Quran by heart, but I never knew what it meant. Now, I was also happy, because I was going to go back to the country I belonged, the country that was my country. I always imagined that I don't belong in Holland, I belong in Pakistan. This is where I'm from.

 

But something shocked me when I arrived on the first day in my hostel. And the hostel warden introduced me to all the students. As soon as he left, the students started talking to me about life back home. I couldn't answer them, because I couldn't communicate very well in Urdu. I spoke broken Urdu. They understood that I was a foreigner. They understood. And you know what they called me? They called me stranger. They called me a foreigner. I was shocked. Because when I was in Holland, I always thought I was a stranger there and I belonged to Pakistan. Now, I'm in Pakistan and it seems I don't even belong here. I'm even a stranger here.

 

I continued my studies. During one particular moment, I was in an Islamic jurisprudence class, I was struck at the text I read. The text said that “You, as a Muslim, are allowed to eat from the same plate with the non-Muslims.” I was struck. I was like “What? This is not something I was brought up with. This is something I'd never seen.” During a class of the biography of the Prophet Muhammad, I was astonished to read that the Prophet of Islam used to interact with non-Muslims, he used to engage with the non-Muslims, he used to have meals with Christians and Jews. I was astonished and shocked that this is not what I experienced when I was growing up in Holland.

 

So, it started making sense to me that people that are Muslims, some of them, they don't have the knowledge of Islam. They are ignorant about their own faith. So, I continued my studies. And during holidays I went to Holland. When I was back home, I had a wonderful time with my mom. Every evening, I used to, after dinner, sit down with her and I used to discuss what I had learned. One day, I discussed with her and mentioned, "You know mom, that relative, that serves non-Muslims in plastic cups and plates meals, she's doing wrong." My mom said, "What do you mean?" I told her about what I had learned. 

 

My mom was surprised. She accepted what I had learned. And she said, "My son, you know better than me because you were studying the religion." And that day, my mom gave me a piece of advice and she expressed her desire. And that was, "My son, I want you to become a man of peace. I want you to be the person that promotes the true teachings of Islam." Islam, by the way, means peace.

 

I travel back to Pakistan to continue my studies. And one day while I am immersed in my studies, I receive a phone call. It is my uncle. He tells me that, “You must pray for your mom. Your mom had an accident.” My heart sinks. I can't believe what I just heard. And I start crying. I picked up the phone and tried to call my dad, but nobody picked up the phone. So, I realized something serious must have happened.

 

The whole day I spent crying, I didn't eat anything, I didn't drink anything. I was continuously thinking about my mom, and hoping and wishing and praying that she would be all right. Every time the phone rang, I used to run towards it hoping that it would be my father. It did ring the next morning 08:30 AM. I didn't sleep that night. It was my dad. He couldn't speak on me, which was strange. He gave the phone to my uncle, and my uncle told me, "Umar, your mom has died, has passed away." I couldn't believe what I just heard. I couldn't believe that I always heard about people losing their beloved one that I would be the one that would experience the same thing. But my mom had passed away.

 

After the passing away of my mom, I decided I will continue my studies and complete my religious studies. I stayed in Pakistan. One day while I was studying, I was invited to an event in the mosque. This is Lahore. This is Pakistan. One of my teachers, Shaykhul Islam, Tahirul Qadri, organized a multi-faith peace prayer in the mosque. As soon as I entered the mosque, I was astonished. I was shocked, because I saw Christians and Muslims together in the mosque praying for peace. What I saw inspired me. It was amazing. It was something I could never imagine was possible.

 

Back home, there was prejudice, there was isolation, there was enmity. And now, here I am witnessing in Lahore, Pakistan, in a mosque, people from two different traditions coming together for one common thing and that is peace. A verse of the Quran was recited which deeply inspired me up to this day, which is, "O mankind, you are different, but come together on that what is common among you." Another verse was recited which is very inspirational for me that, “You may have your faith and let others keep your faith, but come together on that what is common among you, and that is humanity, and that is what you prolong for altogether peace.”

 

That day, I knew what I had to do. I knew that this is what I want to do. After my studies, I decided to move to Ireland with my wife. And here in Ireland, 11 years ago, I established the Al-Mustafa Islamic Centre of Ireland. Through this Islamic Centre, the vision is to bring communities together. The vision is to promote the true teachings of Islam, and ultimately to become the man of peace that my mom wanted me to be. Thank you.