Mary Shaughnessy - A Love Letter to my People

 

 

It's November 2020. COVID. I'm sitting in a freezing cold doctor's office hearing all the words you do not want to hear. “Thyroid cancer. Very aggressive. Stage IV.” I make a total rookie mistake and I ask, “What's the prognosis?” And the doctor said, “Four to six months.” I don't want to keep you good people in suspense. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause] Spoiler alert. I don't die at the end of this story. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause]

 

But I didn't see that plot twist coming back then. Back then, I just felt terror. I thought of my two sons, Seamus and Milo, and how they would grow up without a mother. I thought of my dear husband, Matt, and how he would be left behind to grieve. At least, he better be grieving. [audience laughter] I fell into a dark, dark place. I tried to numb myself with gin and tonics, and banana bread. [audience laughter] I know. It was COVID, and we were awash with banana bread back then. [audience laughter] 

 

Matt and I clung to each other every night and sobbed. But after about a week, I knew something had to shift. I didn't recognize myself. So, I searched my soul to think what could possibly give me comfort in the middle of this nightmare. The answer actually came to me pretty quickly. What I needed was connection, I needed my people. [audience cheers and applause]

 

So, I made this video, sent it to everyone I know. And in it, I told everybody what was going on with me. And I said, “I need you to send me radical healing love. I need you to love me.” What happened next was magic. I got emails, and texts and cards. I couldn't walk out my front door without tripping over bouquets of sunflowers or jars of matzo ball soup. [audience laughter] Spreadsheets appeared. Dinners appeared and a GoFundMe page appeared. And because I needed an outdoor space in COVID to be with people, folks came to my house and they built me a backyard. I don't mean they showed up with lawn chairs. [audience laughter] I mean, they showed up with an excavator. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause]

 

I'm serious. Right? Right? I was overwhelmed by the tidal wave of love and support that came to me and my family. Well, at the same time, I was also in treatment. And the scans showed that the treatment was working. Yeah. [audience cheers and applause] The cancer was still there. It still is. But it wasn't growing. And I started to feel hopeful. But then, in another crazy plot twist, I started to feel guilty. I said to my husband, “Hon, all these people are showing up, because they think I'm going to die in six months.” [audience laughter] But I don't think I am going to die in six months. [audience laughter] I feel like I'm taking advantage of that. [audience laughter]

 

My husband looked at me with a look that he has perfected in the 20 years of being married to me and he said, “Mary, do you think that all these people who are showing up because they love you are going to be mad at you if you don't die?” [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause] I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. It wasn't my sanest moment. After that, I fully surrendered. I let love lift me out of that dark place. Gratitude transformed me. Instead of mourning a life cut short, I began to celebrate a life so well lived. [audience cheers and applause]

 

A life so well lived that it brought to me all of these beautiful, amazing people and so much love. The phrase, now or never, usually refers to some big thing you need to do before time runs out. Those big things are important. But for me, someone for whom time may literally be running out, I got to tell you, I am not focused on a bucket list. Because in the end, I don't think that life is measured by how many big adventures we squeeze in. I think it's measured by how much love we share. 

 

I wish I could tell you that love cured my cancer. It hasn't. Not yet. I accept that. I accept all of it. But if the object of this crazy game, we call life, is to give and receive love, I can tell you with 100% certainty, I am winning.