Talaya Moore - A Bratz Life

 

 

My obsession with Bratz began when I was eight years old and I was gifted one for my birthday. So, Bratz are dolls, kind of like Barbies, but better. They didn't have these unrealistic dimensions. Instead, they stood about 10 inches tall with these huge heads, full lips, curvy physique and they had the coolest makeup. And also, they had these glittery punk rock boots that I loved. 

 

I knew I was hooked and I wanted more. But I could not ask my mom for more, because we were homeless. We had been homeless for over a year, and she had bigger worries, like, if she had enough money for train fare or food, what borough we would end up sleeping in and if I had a clean uniform for school. So, I knew that if I wanted these dolls, I would have to get them myself.

 

So, in the shelter, I started selling paper fans that I made and decorated to the guards for 75 cents. They would give me more money, because they saw I was hustling. I would take that money and buy pens, pencils, loose leaf and candy and sell it to the kids at school for a markup price, [audience laughter] which I was good at. And I also braided hair in the shelter. 

 

When I saved up enough money, my mom took me to the big toy store on Times Square. When I arrived, I ran straight to the Bratz section, searching the shelves for Sasha. Sasha was the Bratz doll that I really wanted. I had read about her in a pamphlet from the previous doll I had got, and she was this aspiring businesswoman, and she just seemed the coolest and I wanted her. After searching and scanning the shelves and not seeing her, I asked the sales rep if he had any more in the back. He said, “Sorry, kid, she's popular, high in demand, all sold out.” And that day, I left with Jade.

 

I was disappointed, but-- [audience laughter] I was disappointed, but I was still happy to leave with a Bratz doll. It had been over a year of living in the EAU, which was short for the emergency assisted unit. Me and my mother had been waiting for overnight placement. And it was Christmas Eve. I was sitting there and it was children screaming and making noise, and I was tired. I was hungry. I had been there since 08:00 AM and it was now going on 08:00 PM. And just as I was about to turn to complain, they called us to the triage window for our placement. 

 

As we approached the window, it's this thick glass in between my mother and me and the worker. It reminded me of a check cashing place or quarantine, like, we were kept away from all things clean. Once we received our overnight placement, we went back to sit down. And then, I heard this uproar, this cheering, this chanting from the kids in the rooms next door. So, I peeked my head out the doorway to see what was going on, like, what the fuss was about. I saw the guards dragging these clear plastic bags down the hall. And then, I realized we were going to get donated toys, that it was Christmas Eve. I had almost forgot. 

 

See, I had been here already. I'd been here last Christmas and I knew how things went. We would all be in one room, called one by one to receive a toy. So, as the guards were dragging the bags, I noticed, as clear as day, untouched, unwrapped, a Bratz doll. I knew I just had to have it. I honestly felt I deserved it. I had all As and Bs in school. I stayed out of trouble. I even helped my mom fold clothes at the laundromat, so I knew I had to be first in line. 

 

When the guards came to my room, I jumped up. And they said, “Step right up.” I died digging through those bags. You weren't even allowed to do that. You were supposed to just step up, get one toy and keep it pushing. But these were the same guards that would buy my paper fans, and they were cool enough to let me search. As I'm going through the third bag, I'm digging and I feel the outline of that Bratz doll, [audience laughter] that box, I feel it and I pick it up, and there she was, Sasha. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause] 

 

I held her up like they did Simba in The Lion King. [audience laughter] And tears of joy ran down my cheeks. Sasha was wearing this ice blue princess gown with the tiara to match. She looked magical like Brandy when she starred in that Cinderella movie featuring Whitney Houston. [audience laughter] I just felt I had met a celebrity, I was starstruck. Like, I met Tyra Banks or Raven-Symoné. [audience laughter] Sasha was beautiful. She was black and I was Black. She was gorgeous. She had this long, dark brown hair, and her clothes were the best out of all the Bratz. 

 

And in the pamphlet that she came with, they told me things about her, like, how she wanted her own urban clothing line, how she wanted to be a music producer. She had two parents and her own room. She just seemed she had it all and I wanted that. I had this carry case where I could keep only one Bratz doll in, and I always chose to put Sasha in it. Inside, it was blue velvet and a spot just for Sasha. And on the other side was her wardrobe where I kept all her clothes neatly stacked. It was like her room. Sometimes I would pretend it was my room. And for a second, I felt like the other third graders in my class had a room and a closet full of clothes. It was me and Sasha's world. 

 

It had been nearly two years of staying in the EAU, two years of waiting, two years of being denied permanent housing, and I was tired. Finally, we were moving to a semi-permanent placement called the Ellerton. Inside the Ellerton, I had one room. It had a bunk bed, a half-top stove, a mini fridge, a dresser and a bathroom. A lot of the times, I sat in the hallway and I would with other kids, but most of the time, I played alone with my dolls. And next door lived this girl, and she always wanted to play with me and my Bratz dolls. But I didn't let her because I saw how she treated her toys, and I didn't need her messing up my girls. [audience laughter] 

 

One day, I came home after school and immediately ran to the dresser where I kept my dolls. As I'm approaching the dresser, I noticed they were all gone. Sasha was gone, my Bratz were gone. I began to panic. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest, like pins and needles all throughout my body. Me and my mom searched the room looking for the dolls. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed her phone and dialed 911. [audience laughter] I said, “Hurry, come quick. We've been robbed. They took everything. 1/10 Morningside.”

 

After I hung up, my mom's looking at me in disbelief, like, “Did you just call the cops?” [audience laughter] But in my head, these are my girls. They're missing. Like, “Where's the Amber Alert? [audience laughter] When the officers arrived, I was just standing there, eyes bloodshot red, T-shirt soaking wet, nose dripping. And I said, “It was her. I knew she took my Bratz doll. It was the girl next door.” So, they started their investigation. [audience laughter] They knocked on the door and questioned her. She said no, that she didn't have my dolls, but I knew she had my dolls. They said they couldn't help me any further, because they didn't have a warrant to search. One of the officers bent over and said, “I'm sure they'll turn up. They're just dolls.” 

 

Just dolls? They were more than just dolls to me. They were my family. Especially Sasha, she was my road dog, my ride or die, my best friend. She was the first to know about my crush on Adolphus Butts in the third grade [audience laughter] and how he looked like milk chocolate. She was there with me that night I slept in my coat, and my shoes in this nasty motel and I held her tight the whole night. She was also there when I wanted to jump into bed with my mom, but there wasn't enough space and I would hold on to her. 

 

That night before bed, I was at the top bunk and I just kept looking at the dresser, and it was empty. And I felt empty. I went to bed with my pillow wet and I woke up with my pillow wet. My mom asked me what I wanted for breakfast, but I didn't have an appetite. Instead, I sat in the hallway almost all day between my door and her door, waiting for her to come out, waiting to see if she had my girls in there.

 

Later that night, I got a knock on the door and there she was, standing there with an attitude, with a plastic bag full of my Bratz dolls. I didn't even have the energy to say anything. I just grabbed the bag, slammed the door and started to spill them on the bed and examine them. They looked like they had been through something awful. [audience laughter] They were all undressed and smelled of chicken grease. [audience laughter] So, I started to dress them and clothe them and put them back on that dresser.

 

As I was doing so, I was holding Sasha and I realized that when they were gone, that was the first time I actually really felt homeless. And having them back, I felt like home again. That’s when I realized Sasha was-- she there for me. These dolls were there for me. Everyone has someone or something that may get them through the day or even a year. And for me, for nine-year-old me, it was Sasha. It was this Black plastic professional businesswoman, who doubled as a superstar in my eyes. She was a constant reminder that in a world filled with uncertainty, there could be a happily ever after. Thank you.