Host: Suzanne Rust
[overture music]
Suzanne: [00:00:13] This is The Moth Radio Hour. And I'm Suzanne Rust, The Moth's curatorial producer. The theme for this hour is Pleasantly Surprised. Those moments that make you pause and say, “Well, I wasn't expecting this,” but in the best possible way. We'll be hearing from a Harlem comedian who discovers a new passion, a man who got in some good trouble during the civil rights movement and a love affair so special that it needed two Moth stories to tell it.
First up, Rudy Rush. He told this story at the Players Club in New York. Here's Rudy, live at The Moth.
[cheers and applause]
Rudy: [00:00:47] Three years ago, Fourth of July weekend, I was performing at Caroline's Comedy Club. I was opening it up for Tracy Morgan from Saturday Night Live. I had a great show. It happens all the time, but just this particular time. [audience laughter] After the show, everybody came up to me, they were telling me how much of a good job I did. But there were these two ladies, straight, leave it to Cleaver, Leave It To Beaver mothers, they came up to me, tell you how much I watched that show. [audience laughter] They came up to me and they were like, “Oh, my God, you did such a great job,” blah, blah, blah. “This is our first time in New York. It's our first time here. It's our first stop. You did such a great job.” And I was like, “Thank you very much.”
They were like, “Well, you seem like you know what's going on in the city? Can you point us in the right direction as to what we can go do and hang out and see?” I'm saying to myself, I'm looking at both of them and I'm like, “Whatever direction I point them in, they're going to be in the newspaper tomorrow morning.” [audience laughter] I said, “I'm going to take these two ladies out and show them a nice time.” Now, most of us are New Yorkers in here. I didn't take them too many crazy places. I took them to a couple of places where they had music and probably 8 to 10 people, but they enjoyed it. They were from all the way in Portland, Oregon, and they were here for the first time. So, reluctantly, I became the tour guide for the rest of the weekend. [audience laughter]
Two other sisters flew in. Actually, their daughters were performing at the UN. But they were really appreciative. We had a really great time. I showed them a nice time around the city. I was surprised I knew so much about the city. Just out of nowhere, one of the ladies said, “You know what? You have to come out. We do this rodeo every year in Pendleton, Oregon. You have to come.” [audience laughter] I said, “Okay.” If you haven't noticed, I'm a brother from the hood. We don't do rodeos. [audience laughter] But then, I thought to myself, I said, okay. I'm a comedian. I've done a lot in terms of seeing things. I went from Miami to Tampa, saw the orange groves, flew over the Grand Canyon, saw the mountains in Montana just because I was a comedian, not because I saved my money and went.
So, I said, you know what? This would be another adventure that I can say, at least I tried it. They fly me out there. As soon as I get out there, I have a New York City cap, got a sweatshirt on and everything. They were like, “Mm, you can't really wear that out here. So, we're going to take you and get some clothes.” [audience laughter] Well, they take me to this store where you got the Wrangler jeans and the shirts and the hats. The store attendant, she gives me these Wrangler jeans. These things were Patrick Swayze tight, [audience laughter] all right? So, I come out of the dressing room, I'm like, “Are these okay?” Everybody's like, “No, those are perfect.” [audience laughter] I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I'm like, “Damn.”
So, I got this whole get up on. I got this black Stetson. I'm looking like Will Rogers dipped in chocolate, right? [audience laughter] So, we go out to this bar and we all having drinks. The ladies’ husbands are there, we're having a great time. So, this guy comes up to me and he's like, “Come with me. I want to show you something.” So, my buddy, Tom, he's with me. He's like, “No, I'll walk with you, guys.” So, we walk two blocks. This is no lie. We walk two blocks to a small little pub just for him to show me a picture of a black dude who was there in 1915. [audience laughter] Then I thought about it. I'm like, “Okay, maybe this is his way of just trying to show me that I'm accepted.” He didn't know how to do it.
I'm just thinking in the back of my mind like, “100 years from now, they're going to show some other black kid of my picture.” [audience laughter] [chuckles] So, the following day, my buddy Tom, he's a photographer, so he gets all access to the fields, to the rodeo grounds and everything like that. So, I'm feeling uncomfortable with Tom, but he's protecting me. So, I'm like, “All right, I'm cool. I'm a little comfortable.” So, he introduces me to the fence crew. Now, for you who don't know what the fence crew is, these are the guys who go out on the field and make sure the fences are up and make sure everything's right for the rodeo and blase blah.
One of the funniest things is working with the fence crew, they actually snuck me on the field during the festivities. I mean, you got thousands of people in the crowd. If you guys don't know, they have like this thing, the bronco bucking. That's when the horses come out and they throw the guys every which away. And it's very dangerous. Just my luck, this wild horse is coming at me with two guys trying to corral a horse to get into the pit. So, I'm like, “Okay, I'll play basketball. [audience laughter] I got some moves.” So, I actually dodged and I got out of the way. My hat fell off and I got up. Everybody was cheering. I'm like, “I never heard this applause at a comedy show ever.” [audience laughter] Anyway, I've been going back for the last three years. [audience laughter] [audience applause]
These are like my best friends now. [audience laughter] I cut off my schedule in September and I'm like, “I'm going to the rodeo.” [audience laughter] I'm like, fucking Batman. I put my little hat and my boots and my pants in my bag. “Yo, where you going?” “Nowhere, bruh. [audience laughter] Going to rodeo.” But the thing that is so special about this experience for me, is that I actually happened to be out there during 9/11 and the three-hour difference. I wake up at 07:00 in the morning to watch SportsCenter, and these buildings are collapsing. And I'm thinking, what movie is this, until the reality strikes me that this is actually happening. My mother works not too far from there, and my sister and I can't get in touch with anybody.
They're okay. But at the same time, these people stopped everything that they were doing. There was no rodeo until-- Because I'm the only guy from New York out there. They knew I was from New York City, so the cowboys are coming from the pits and everything like that just to make sure that I got in contact with my family. I thought that was very, very, very special, which makes me want to go back for the next 50 years. But that's the type of people that they are. Even the year after that, I came back again. They had a tribute to 9/11, which was funny because they flew in a firefighter from New York and this other guy from the police department. I'm like, “Hey, what's up, y'all? I'm Rudy. I'm from New York.” They were like, “What the fuck are you doing here?” [audience laughter] I was like. “It's a long story, man.” [audience laughter]
But they actually enjoyed themselves too. So, it was cool. We got to hang out and stuff. But the thing that was so special this particular year, a friend of ours, Lucas, older gentleman, he has bad arthritis. He had two fingers one hand and maybe three on the other. His wife passed away. He's an older gentleman. So, everybody grouped around him, made sure he was okay. That was the focus of our trip this year. It was so funny. During the opening festivities of the rodeo, they were singing the national anthem. Those of you who go to events, you never-- sometimes you're walking around, you never know where you're standing.
I actually happened to be at the top of the beaches with Lucas. They were singing the national anthem, and they had this F150 fighter jets or something come through. So close you could see the nuts and the bolts in the plane. It was really a touching experience. He starts crying, and I'm quite sure he was thinking of his wife, that he wished that she could see something as beautiful as that. I'm thinking of my friends that I lost in the towers. So, he puts his two fingers on my shoulder [audience laughter] and I put my hand on his shoulder-- I love those people, and those are my friends and that's my story. That's it.
[cheers and applause]
Suzanne: [00:08:35] That was Rudy Rush. Rudy is a comedian, a radio host and actor who hosted Showtime at the Apollo for almost a decade. He has also worked on projects with everyone from Dave Chappelle to Martin Lawrence. Rudy is currently based in Texas. What I love about Rudy's story is you don't expect it to lead where it does. And yet, if you look at this country's history, it really shouldn't come as such a surprise. On plantations, enslaved men often worked cattle, and they got very skilled at it. So, when the Civil War ended and many migrated out west, this was one of the few jobs open to black men. So, black cowboys are indeed a thing.
Yes, Hollywood has certainly given us the default imagery of white cowboys lassoing cattle, sharpshooting and bucking broncos. But what's missing in the narrative are their counterparts, the black cowboys, who made up roughly one-fourth of the wranglers Some of the most legendary cowboys, in fact, were black, like Nat Love, Bill Pickett and Bass Reeves.
[whimsical music]
I wanted to catch up with Rudy to hear about his latest adventures in the wild west and beyond.
Hey, Rudy. How you doing?
Rudy: [00:10:03] I'm good, Suzanne. How are you?
Suzanne: [00:10:05] I'm good. I would love to talk about your story. So, you have a great line that says, “I'm a brother from the hood. I don't do rodeos.”
Rudy: [00:10:14] [laughs]
Suzanne: [00:10:16] Everyone laughs. But the truth is, we did do rodeos. I grew up not knowing that out west in the 1800s that like a quarter of the cowboys were black.
Rudy: [00:10:25] No, they weren't.
Suzanne: [00:10:27] I didn’t know this history, growing up.
Rudy: [00:10:28] No. You know what I was. When I said it, the whole background of the joke was really the fact that being from Harlem and being from New York City, it's almost like that movie City Slickers with Billy Crystal.
Suzanne: [00:10:44] [chuckles] Yeah.
Rudy: [00:10:45] It was more like an urban thing. It was like “Yo, you know, I appreciate the offer. But truthfully, I don't know anything about rodeo the first.” You know what I mean? So, [chuckles] it was like a running joke, which turned into me actually just saying, “Hey, take a chance and do something different, step out of the box.” It turned into a great situation.
Suzanne: [00:11:07] What did you love most about attending these rodeos? What drew you to them?
Rudy: [00:11:12] So, the craziest thing-- And now, it's been some years since I've gone, but I've gone seven times like this seven years. That's a long time.
Suzanne: [00:11:21] Wow.
Rudy: [00:11:22] Yeah, absolutely. So, I took some breaks here and there. So, it wasn't consecutive. So, the greatest thing I can say about it was it gave me a different perspective on people in general, because honestly, being an African-American male from New York City and being in Pendleton, Oregon, it's a little uncomfortable to be not even in being somewhere where it's 98.8% white people.
Suzanne: [00:11:50] Right.
Rudy: [00:11:51] Because what you're told and what you see and what you understand about people across the globe, not only in America, is that you're not going to be welcomed with open arms. But I found going to Pendleton is like it was so different than what I expected which made me continue to go back, because the friendships that I actually built outside of the people who even invited me, because it went from me just being with them the first couple of times, I was there to going there and spending time with other people.
Going out to ranches where I've built these friendships and things of that nature and being friends with these people's kids and going to different cities and having breakfast with a kid who used to be 11, now they're 25 and they're getting married. Like, it's crazy. So, that was the biggest takeaway, just knowing that people are different. You can't just go by what you see and what you've taught in your neighborhood or on TV and things like that. So, it was a great experience for me in that respect.
Suzanne: [00:12:49] No. That's what I love about hearing your story. I was pleasantly surprised, because everyone goes into situations with preconceived notions and certainly going to a place where you're in the 2%.
Rudy: [00:12:59] Yeah.
Suzanne: [00:12:59] But I'm glad you were able to bridge that gap. It's the power of connecting our stories.
Rudy: [00:13:04] Absolutely.
Suzanne: [00:13:10] That was Rudy Rush. To see photos of Rudy and his rodeo buddies, go to themoth.org/extras. Coming up, marching with civil rights giants. That's when The Moth Radio Hour continues.
Jay: [00:13:27] The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
Suzanne: [00:13:36] This is The Moth Radio Hour. I'm Suzanne Rust. In the aftermath of great upheavals, great stories are born. Our next one takes place during the Civil Rights Movement and includes an interesting cast of characters with storyteller Bob Zellner front and center. He told this story at the Players Club in New York City. Here's Bob, live at The Moth.
[applause]
Bob: [00:14:00] I'm glad to be here in New York tonight. My daughter was here earlier. She's a New York psychoanalyst. [audience laughter] You just about have to be one to be analyst in New York. I'm Bob Zellner. I'm actually from LA, Lower Alabama. [audience laughter] I grew up in South Alabama. My father was a Methodist minister. He was also a member of the Ku Klux Klan. My grandfather was a member of the Klan, and most of my aunts and uncles. The aunts were, of course, in the Auxiliary Klan.
I was named after Bob Jones, who has a Bob Jones University. He also conducted the wedding ceremony for my mother and father. So, I come from a very fundamentalist, even terroristic background. [audience laughter] And so, to be known as a New Yorker is unusual. It's also unusual that someone with my background would have wound up in the Civil Rights Movement. But I went to Huntington College in Montgomery, Alabama in 1957. And if you'll remember what's happening in the south at that time, I wound up as my senior year, meeting Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks. They got me started on a life of crime. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause]
As a result of their influence, when I graduated college in 1961, I joined the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, SNCC. Some of you older people might remember that. [audience applause]
SNCC was one of the civil rights organizations. We were young and brash, and we didn't believe that we couldn't go anywhere in the United States. And so, we usually went to the roughest places there were. I was with SNCC from 1961 to 1967, and I was the first white southerner field secretary for SNCC and also one of the last whites in the organization when it became all black in about 1967. As a result of being in SNCC, I was arrested 25 times in five different states, shot at, beaten and generally mistreated.
I don't know why they did that to us in the south. But we did have a lot of supporters. We had a lot of supporters here in New York. So, I thank you belatedly for that. One of the events that I remember particularly about that time-- Muriel Tillinghast and her daughter are with us tonight also. They're SNCC veterans. But one of the things that I remember particularly was the summer of 1964. It was a particularly mythic period in the United States. Because in that summer, we organized students from all around the country to come to Mississippi, because people were getting killed, because they were black and wanted to register to vote. Many of our organizers were shot. Some of them were killed.
We thought that if we brought students from around the country to Mississippi, then we would be able to break that wall of segregation and be able to get support from the United States. We thought that the federal government would come to our aid. One of the myths was that the federal government was actually in favor of civil rights at that time. One of the movies that was made of the 1964 period, which I had something to do with, was Mississippi Burning. They participated in the mythic misrepresentation of American history when they made the FBI the heroes of the civil rights movement.
In Greenwood, Mississippi, that summer, after the murder of three civil rights workers, Chaney, Goodman and Schwerner, two of whom were white New Yorkers, this country rose up to a person practically and said, “We have to end segregation once and for all.” The federal government was not yet willing to go along with that. When we organized those students in 1964 to come to Mississippi, do you know what the reaction of our government was? J. Edgar Hoover went on television and radio the day before, 1,000 students were to come to Mississippi for the summer and said, “There will be no federal protection for civil rights workers in Mississippi this summer.”
The reaction of the Klan was to capture the first three civil rights workers who came down, crossed the state line. They were murdered and buried 18 feet deep in an earthen dam. The reaction of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and other civil rights organizations was to mobilize massively to go into Mississippi. If they thought that that would keep people out, it helped bring people to Mississippi. Brave people. One of the groups that came were American stars, American actors. I have a particular memory of Harry Belafonte, Sidney Poitier and Marlon Brando coming to Greenwood, Mississippi that summer.
Greenwood, Mississippi, was a cauldron of violence. Beckwith was from Mississippi. Beckwith had killed Medgar Evers and was a hero in Mississippi, because he murdered a black civil rights worker. Greenwood, Mississippi, was as lawless as the west ever was. It was open season on civil rights workers. And yet, Harry Belafonte, Sidney Poitier, and the mythic Marlon Brando came to us in Mississippi in the summer 1964. Now, my particular relationship with this was that I was a white southerner and a member of the SNCC. So, I was to take care of Mr. Brando. [audience laughter] Can you imagine? I'm 21 years old, I hardly ever been out of Alabama and now I've got to go around with this guy who is a legend, of course, in his own mind and ours as well. [audience laughter]
I picked him up at the airport, and we talked about how to get from the airport to this tremendous rally that had been organized for these three people and also to show that the outside world was coming to Mississippi. I picked Belafonte up, because we had to segregate. We couldn't have black people and white people in the same car, because we'd get shot at more often that way. I remember Jim Forman, the executive director of SNCC, said, “Okay, Bob, you drive Marlon to the rally and pretend you're an ordinary white people.” [audience laughter] So, I said, “Well, I can pretend, but I don't know about Marlon. [audience laughter] He's supposed to be a good actor, so hopefully we'll make out all right.”
So, we're on the way to this rally. 14,000 people waiting at the gymnasium to meet these mythic people. And Brando says, before we get there, “Zellner, I've got to go to the bathroom.” [audience laughter] And I said, “At a time like this, you've got to go to the bathroom?” He said, “Well, yeah, there's one here.” I said, “Well, there's a truck stop up here. We'll stop at that bathroom. He said, “What kind of bathroom do they have?” [audience laughter] I said, “Why does it matter?” He said, “Well, it has to be a particular kind of bathroom.” He said, “Do they have stalls? He's like, “All urinals and everything.” I said, “Well, they have some urinals. Maybe they have some stalls and everything.” [audience laughter] He says, “I hope they have stalls.” [audience laughter]
So I said to myself, “I don't care if it is Marlon Brando, I'm going to find out him about this.” So, I said, “Why is that? Marlon, I'm driving on.” He said, “Well--” He said, “It's terrible.” He says, “I'm standing there like a normal person, doing my business and everything. Somebody's right next to me. And all of a sudden, they say, you're Marlon Brando.” [audience laughter] He was certainly a great actor to be able to do that in the front seat of a car on a dark night in Mississippi. [audience laughter] I think he was putting me at ease. Anyway, I remember thinking, “Boy, I'm here with Marlon Brando now. We're going to go to this huge rally.”
We swept into the rally and all the people there, 14,000 people inside and out, they just went crazy. Here's Harry Belafonte, good friend of our Secretary of State, Powell [audience laughter] and Marlon Brando. And so, the chairman of our group stands up and he says, “We have a man tonight who's one of the greatest singers in America. We want to have a song from him right to start with,” He said, “I give you Bob Zellner.” [audience laughter] And I said, “Do you mean Belafonte?” And he said, “No.” He said, “They better hear some freedom songs. You know, we got to get this thing warmed up.” [audience laughter]
So, I happened to have been raised in the south, and I knew all the freedom songs, all the church songs and everything. So, we sang some songs. And that place rocked. I'm telling you. Here was Belafonte and them back there, and they said, “Well, they've never seen anything like this.” But it meant a tremendous amount in that summer of 1964, because just prior to them coming, Silas McGhee, who was the project director of the Greenwood SNCC office, had been shot in the side of the head with a .38 caliber slug. I caught him as he fell with the slug in the side of his head. Many other people were brutalized, because they wanted to go and register to vote.
I remember one time, a 1,000 people were standing at the courthouse in Greenwood, Mississippi. And here's what the white people did. They pulled up in a big pickup truck and they got out with the monkey. There was a sign on the monkey that says, “I want to vote too.” Now, that was both the murderers and the humorists coming to the fore. But we had humor that would beat their humor, because a huge debate broke out in the line of black people. And some people said, “That's an insult. Why would they insult us like that?” And other people said, “No, that's no insult. That 85-year-old white woman has a right to vote like anybody else.” [audience laughter]
Anyway, that was the summer of 1964. People were killed, we sang, we laughed. But it was Harry Belafonte who actually summed up the immense experience of that summer by bringing people from outside, bringing the world press to Mississippi. It was the beginning of the end of racial segregation at the voting booth in Mississippi and the rest of the south, because by 1965, the next year, the Voting Rights Act passed. And it passed because people like Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier and my friend, Marlon Brando, came south and helped us. Harry summed it up at the end of that great mass meeting when he said, “No matter what they do, it is always true that brotherhood and sisterhood is not so wild a dream as those who profit by postponing it pretend.” Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Suzanne: [00:25:15] That was Bob Zellner. Bob is the author of the memoir, The Wrong Side of Murder Creek: A White Southerner in the Freedom Movement. Bob has moved back to Lower Alabama, where he continues the fight to defend democracy, working with Dr. Reverend William Barber II, Bryan Stevenson's Equal Rights Initiative, and the NAACP. Bob and his wife, Pamela, also collaborate with youth leadership training platforms like saabill.org and they support the Black Lives Matter Movement. Bob opens his story telling us about his relatives in the Klan. I could just feel my body tense up as he described it, where was he going with the story. But to hear him break that particular family tradition and go in just the opposite direction, that gives his story wings.
I asked Bob what he thought of the recent protests. And he said that the summer of 2020 convinced him that he was right. “Freedom is a constant struggle and democracy is fragile and must be supported and corrected periodically.” To see photos of Bob during the time of the story, go to themoth.org/extras. Coming up after the break, a love story for the ages. That's when The Moth Radio Hour continues.
Jay: [00:26:35] The Moth Radio Hour is Produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
Suzanne: [00:26:45] You're listening to The Moth Radio Hour. I'm Suzanne Rust. Our final teller is Cynthia Riggs. If you've been listening to The Moth for a while, you might remember her first story about a late in life romantic correspondence with a man she worked with as a young woman. That story ended with Cynthia telling us she was planning to travel to California to meet him again after 60 years. Well, this story is chapter two. But don't worry if you haven't heard the first story. Cynthia gives a little context at the top for precisely that reason. Cynthia told the story at The Tabernacle on Martha's Vineyard, where our promotional partners were WCAI and Atlantic Public Media. Here's Cynthia Riggs.
[cheers and applause]
Cynthia: [00:27:35] I love being waited on like this. [laughs] Well, in 1950, I was a clueless 18-year-old student at Antioch College. They have a work study program, and they found me a job at Scripps Oceanographic Institution sorting plankton. I got to the laboratory. Most of my fellow plankton sorters were men, and they'd been sorting plankton too long. [audience laughter] They were looking for a distraction and I was it. So, they started playing all these practical jokes on me, like putting slimy things on my bicycle seat or nailing my lab door shut. I didn't really know how to deal with this. But there was an elderly man there who'd been in the Second World War and he took pity on me. He was 28 [audience laughter] and he somehow got my tormentors off my back without making things worse.
Well, I started writing notes to him on the paper towels next to my microscope. They were just simple notes, and I wrote them in code, just A equals B, B equals C. Well, my job lasted about four months, and I came back here to the Vineyard and I forgot about him. In January 2012, his name suddenly popped into my mind and I thought, well, I wonder whatever happened to that guy. So, I googled his name and I didn't find it. So, I didn't think about it anymore. Well, two weeks later, I got a package in the mail with his name on it. He must have been thinking about me the same time I was thinking about him.
So, I opened the package. And in it were all those paper towels that he'd saved for 62 years. And in it was a new note in our old code. When I decoded it, the note said, “I have never stopped loving you.” Well, I didn't know quite how to feel about this. I belonged to a group called the Wednesday Writers. So, I showed them this package with the note and I said, “What do you make of it?” Well, Amy said, “He's a stalker.” [audience laughter] Lisa said, “62 years later, this is every woman's fantasy.” [laughs]
[applause]
Kat said, “You got to get in touch with him. You've got to write to this guy.” And I said, “I can't, because his return address was latitude and longitude.” [audience laughter] It wasn't easy. But I did find him eventually. It led to a correspondence that went on-- Every day, we were writing. And the time came after this correspondence had been going on for a couple of months. Lisa said, “You have to go see him now.” And I said, “No.” [audience laughter] Well, they prevailed and they essentially got me a ticket, put me on the airplane and sent me off. [laughs]
Well, you can probably imagine how I was feeling. The last time this guy saw me, I was 18. [laughs] And at this point, I was 81. [laughs] I had severe cold feet. My stomach hurt. I couldn't eat anything. I was sweating and I was icy cold. He met me. He was carrying a long-stemmed red rose and he had a sign-- He was holding a sign. And on the front was our code for hugs and kisses. He turned the sign over and on the back was our code for passion. [audience laughter]
Well, I'd only planned to stay with him for a day and a half, because I figured, well, whatever happens, I can deal with it. So, we decided what we were going to do with a short time. We were sitting in his house. He had a house perched on the edge of the canyon in San Diego. I guess about 15 minutes into this planning session, he came out with a little white box, about 2x2x2. And I said, “Oh, no,” [audience laughter] I was trying to think what I was going to say. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, because we'd really gotten to know each other pretty well in the correspondence. Well, he opened the little white box, and in it was a paper cigar band. [laughs]
He said, “I know you don't like rings. I know you don't like jewelry, but I thought you might like to try this on.” And I laughed. The guy really knew me. And I said, “I do make an exception for rings.” [audience laughter] So, that was his proposal, and that was my acceptance. [audience laughter] Well, he decided he was going to move to Martha's Vineyard. He'd never been east of Chicago. He got into his pickup truck-- And mind you, this guy was 91. He got into his pickup truck and with his son beside him, he drove here to Martha's Vineyard.
Well, we got married at the Congregational Church here in West Tisbury. Now, Howie was a Buddhist and I'm a lapsed Unitarian. [audience laughter] We got married by the Methodist minister from the Chilmark Church, who's a defrocked Catholic nun. [audience laughter] We covered about all the bases. [laughs] Well, the wedding was just absolutely perfect. The ceremony went along and the time came when it was time for “the kiss.” So, Howie reached out to me and I reached out to him and we went into this perfect clinch and the congregation cheered. [audience laughter]
Well, we launched into this magical marriage. We knew we didn't have very much time, so we figured we weren't going to waste our time on anything petty. We were just going to make the most of it. So, we decided we'd start raising guinea hens. [audience laughter] Guinea hens love ticks. And of course, ticks are a problem here in the vineyard. Then we got some hens, then we got some ducks. Now, Howie was feeding all these creatures and he attracted wild turkeys. [laughs] I have a photograph taken on the back step where the animals are feeding on Howie's seed. There were three skunks and a rat. [audience laughter]
And Howie loved them all. He loved the guineas, the hens, the ducks, the turkeys, the skunks and the rat. [laughs] Well, he used to make my coffee for me every morning. And one morning, I found beside the coffee pot a note that said, “Good morning, wife. You are being loved all day.” He'd leave notes for me all over the place. I'd open the utensil drawer and there'd be a note there. It was a note pinned to my nightie just everywhere. We were both at Cronig’s at the deli counter one time, I guess, buying low-sodium turkey or something. [audience laughter] Howie suddenly turned to me, embraced me and kissed me right in front of the deli counter. All the people around there just applauded. [audience laughter]
We went to Conroy's Apothecary. Howie kissed me. Mind you, this was a shy guy at one time. [audience laughter] In the post office, at the dump. [audience laughter] I realized what he had decided was he was going to kiss me every place on the island, so there'd be a memory of a kiss in every place on the island. Well, I knew right from the beginning that Howie had some serious health problems. He'd sent me early on a list of the books in his library. And one of them was dealing with heart disease. One of them had something to do with diabetes. There was a book of philosophy, a book of poetry and there was a book that said living to 120. So, I said, “I'm holding you to that.”
Well, he started having this incidents where he had a racing heart, and he said to me, “You know, we don't have a lot of time together. Let's prepare for it.” So, we did. He said, “I don't want to die alone. I don't want to die in the hospital.” Well, there came a time when these incidents were coming closer together. I called 911, and these three EMTs came, these gorgeous women. Howie was really angry. He said, “I do not want to go to the hospital.” And the EMTs prevailed. He jabbed his finger at me and he said, “I'm divorcing you.” [audience laughter]
Well, a week later, I heard him shoutout. He called my name. I went to see him and I could see that was it, that was the end. So, I sat with him. I held his great hands. I held his hands in mine. I told him how much I cared for him, how much he'd meant to me. I told him I loved him and I told him he'd given me the best five years of my life. He died five years to the day of the time I got that package from him on February 1st. Well, the next day was Groundhog Day. We always have a big celebration in my house and invite everybody from the island to come. And this time, it was a grand celebration of Howie's life about-- Everybody either knew him or they knew of him.
One of the things they told me is he was known as the rockstar of the geriatric set of the island. [audience laughter] Well, we had a service at the cemetery and Kathleen Baker, the minister of the church, officiated at it. They had the Martha's Vineyard Honor Guard played. They had these flags out. They had a three-gun salute. An eagle flew overhead and they played taps. And at that, I cried. Well, the next day was a Sunday. So, I went to church and a little boy was being baptized. He was about one and a half years old, and he escaped from his father and he went running up and down the center aisle of the church laughing. And the whole congregation laughed. The little Sunday school kids in the front were facing the congregation, they were giggling. All I could think was, life goes on.
Howie is still with me. I think of him all the time. When I think of all the things he gave to me, the best five years of my life, and he gave me something I would wish on every one of you, and that is just this steady, passionate, constant love. And that's it. [laughs]
[cheers and applause]
Suzanne: [00:42:42] That was the unstoppable Cynthia Riggs. Cynthia is the author of a mystery book series, and her writing still keeps her busy. She's also a master gardener who started growing some seeds in the planter that Howie gave her many years ago. Cynthia runs a bed and breakfast that caters to poets, writers and other creative people in her ancestral home on Martha's Vineyard.
When I listen to Cynthia's story, my face actually hurts from smiling so hard. Her heart is so open and her spirit so generous. It is no wonder that Howie had her on his mind for six decades. I asked her a little bit more about that love and what she was up to.
I was wondering, would you have been emotionally ready for each other earlier, or do you think that you reconnected just at the right time in your lives?
Cynthia: [00:43:31] Well, he was emotionally ready for me, but I wasn't emotionally ready for him. Then I'd been married for 25 years to an abusive guy, and I swore never, never, never, never, never, never, never again. So, I was a safe distance. Howie was in San Diego, and you can't get further away than Martha's Vineyard comes-- [crosstalk]
Suzanne: [00:43:52] Right, right. No, that's true.
Cynthia: [00:43:55] I'm safe.
Suzanne: [00:43:56] Yeah.
Cynthia: [00:43:58] I guess I was vulnerable after all.
Suzanne: [00:44:00] What did your love for him teach you about yourself?
Cynthia: [00:44:04] Well, it told me that-- I guess I don't have a hard shell that I built around me after all. Because he really got through that.
Suzanne: [00:44:17] Yeah.
Cynthia: [00:44:18] I was far. I'd never have anything to do with a man ever again. Never, never, never.
Suzanne: [00:44:22] Then there he comes. So, Cynthia, you're almost 90 now, correct?
Cynthia: [00:44:26] Yeah, I'm going to be 90 in June.
Suzanne: [00:44:28] That's amazing. I'd say you've lived well over nine lives. Let's say you've been a geologist. You qualified for the US Olympic fencing team in the 1940s. You have a US Coast Guard license, crossed the Atlantic twice by sailboat. You earned your MFA in writing when you were in your late 60s and then started turning out mystery novels. I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but I think all of us, at least I want to know, what's your motto, your philosophy? How can the rest of us unleash our inner Cynthia Riggs? Because that's. I think, we want to know.
Cynthia: [00:44:58] I got a really neat email just this morning, just from one of The Moth fans, saying she's 42 years old and she thought her life was over. And I just said, “Get going, girl. [laughs] There's so much out there to explore at 42.” That's the age of my grandkids.
Suzanne: [00:45:23] Yeah. No, it's young.
Cynthia: [00:45:27] My time with Howie, that was the best five years of my life. But I always had so far, because what's around the bend.
Suzanne: [00:45:36] Exactly. For you, it could be-- The sky's the limit, really for you. What's next in your book of things that you'd like to do?
Cynthia: [00:45:44] Well, I'd really like to get into gardening in a big way. I've always been a gardener, but I've never known exactly what I'm doing. I looked into getting one of the master gardeners, but I think physically that's beyond me. But I think I can do a lot of reading and digging in my own garden. So, that's what I'd like to do.
Suzanne: [00:46:08] That's great. What do you do during the day? Like, what's a typical day for you?
Cynthia: [00:46:12] Well, pretty much writing. I do a lot of writing. I have two writers’ groups, my Wednesday Writers and then there's the Sunday Writers. They're an older group and quite serious and quite dedicated. So, I have to keep up with them.
Suzanne: [00:46:30] Yeah. [chuckles] I like that. It keeps you busy. It keeps your brain churning between the gardening and the writing and just your general joie de vivre. We really appreciate hearing from you today, Cynthia. Thank you so much for talking to us.
Cynthia: [00:46:43] I can't thank you guys at The Moth enough. You are just heroes, period.
Suzanne: [00:46:48] We're like huge fans over here. So, you're like a rock star for us. Cynthia.
That was Cynthia Riggs. To see photos of Cynthia and Howie on the Vineyard and to purchase a copy of her book, Howard and Cynthia: A Love story, go to themoth.org/extras. Cynthia's story first came to us through the pitch line. Do you have a story in you? If so, you can record it right on our website or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. The best pictures are developed for Moth shows all around the world.
Well, that's it for this episode of The Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time. And that's the story from The Moth.
[overture music]
Jay: [00:48:02] This episode of The Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Catherine Burns and Suzanne Rust, who also hosted this hour. Coproducer is Viki Merrick. And associate producer, Emily Couch. The stories were directed by Meg Bowles and Lea Thau.
The rest of The Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin Jenness, Jenifer Hixson, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klutse, Brandon Grant, Inga Glodowski, Sarah Jane Johnson and Aldi Kaza. Moth stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers.
Our theme music is by The Drift. Other music in this hour from Sonny Rollins, Chet Atkins, Bill Frisell and Ben Webster. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts.
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Audacy, including executive producer, Leah Reis-Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.