Host: Dan Kennedy
Dan: [00:00:01] Hey, this is The Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy.
And summer is officially here. I mean, I'm saying that in the middle of August, in the middle of August, I guess. Yeah, I'm a little late to the party to say summer's officially here, but you know that's a universal time to live a little easier. The days are longer, the nights seem just as long and those two things combined are a perfect recipe for fun. But sometimes the fun goes a little too far, and that's where we're going to start our first story this week.
It comes to us from a Milwaukee StorySLAM, where the theme of the night was Unintended.
[cheers and applause]
This is Marian Speerless telling her story, live at The Moth.
Marian: [00:00:42] The summer that I was seven, I killed my father's prize rooster accidentally. [audience laughter]
I was raised on a small dairy farm in the southeastern part of Wisconsin in the mid-1940s. I wasn't a typical daughter of a farmer. I liked being feminine and wearing dresses all year, sundresses in the summer. I was very fastidious. Didn't like getting dirty. Found out later that my cousins called me secretly, Princess Poo-Poo. [audience laughter] But I was a typical farmer's daughter in that I loved all the animals that were on our farm. Because I was quite little, the only task I was assigned was to feed and water the chickens and the ducks, which I loved.
Weren't very many children that were in the area, so I had to use my imagination, write plays in my head, stories in my head. And I did listen to radio. My favorites were Westerns, loved the Lone Ranger and that Silver Steed and Gene Autry. When I finished listening to Gene Autry, I would go into the barn and slide on top of the broad backs of our two workhorses, Lady and Whitey, and sing Home, Home on the Range, [audience chuckles] I'm Back in the Saddle Again. That was kind of my life.
The summer that I was seven when this incident happened, my parents were haying. They were bringing hay in from the field. And my grandfather was staying with us for the week to help him. To help them, rather. And so, I was left to my own devices, because I was such a good little girl. They knew I could safely stay there and not do anything that I shouldn't. But I was bored and I decided to play the Lone Ranger.
Our house was on a slight slope, and the barn lowered and the chicken coop was down there. So, I ran down the hill and ran through the flock of hens that was below, and they went [imitates hens] and I'm like, “Well, that was fun. Okay.” [audience chuckles] But I remembered that earlier, a couple weeks earlier, my parents had taken me with them to a movie and it may have been a newsreel, I don't know, but I saw a plane dropping bombs, and I thought, that's what I need. I need more ammunition to get these chickens going.
And so, I went down around the corner of the chicken coop where the granary was, and we had shelled corn, so the cob was lightweight. We used them to start our stove as kindling. And so, I picked up the front of my dress, my sundress, and loaded it with these corn cobs and went back up the hill and tore down the hill, throwing corn cobs amongst the chickens. [audience chuckles] I remembered in the movie, they said, "Bombs away, bombs away." So, I did that. [audience laughter] And the chickens went, [imitates the chicken]. I threw one last corn cob and my father's prize rooster, Charlie, walked out of the hen house. I'm sure he was aghast at what was going on with his ladies. [audience chuckles]
He walked in front of the corn cob, [audience laughter] and he fell on the ground. And I thought, oh, my Lord. I ran down to him, and I remember shaking him and saying, "Charlie, wake up, wake up, wake up." [audience laughter] But he wasn't going to wake up. I remember seeing the wind blow the feathers on his chest, and he was quite still. And then, I realized I had killed this rooster. And I started sobbing. I clutched him to me and I started sobbing and crying.
My grandfather had come into the pump house to get water, and he ran down. He said, "Marian, are you hurt? What's wrong?" I said, "I killed Charlie." And he said, "You killed Charlie?" I explained to him what happened. He engulfed me and Charlie, who I was now holding, and said, "Marian, it was an accident. It was an accident. You didn't do it on purpose?" I said, "No, but he's dead, and my father's going to kill me." [audience laughter] He said, "No, he isn't." He stopped for a minute, because he said, "I'm not going to tell him and you're not either." [audience laughter]
But at that time, in the 1940s, that rooster would have provided a lot of meat. So, this was a big decision on my grandfather's part to help me to do this. And so, he said, "Let's get a shovel. We're going to bury him down by the mailbox. Your father never goes that way. He takes the other drive." [audience laughter] And that's what we did. Several nights later, at suppertime, my father said casually, "You know, I haven't seen Charlie around." Oh, dear God. My heart stopped. I knew on my forehead it said rooster killer. [audience laughter]
My mouth was open. I was ready to spill my guts. I was going to just say what happened. And my grandfather quickly said to my father, "You know, John, I remember seeing a weasel down at the chicken coop." [audience aww] And my father said, "Well, he swore." But he said, "Well, we'll have to keep an eye out for the hens to make sure that nothing happens to them."
My grandfather caught my eye and smiled at me. It was one of those moments when an adult and a child bond together, because you know that that person got your back and everything's going to be okay. And the lesson I learned was that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has accidents, even children. And also, if you're going to do a skit, don't ask innocent animals to be part of it. [audience laughter]
[cheers and applause]
Dan: [00:07:27] Oh, that poor rooster. Charlie. Let me just say that we, here at The Moth, don't condone any harming of animals, and we're very sad that Charlie met such an untimely demise, even if it was accidental. Not blaming Marian. I know it's just an innocent mistake. We've all made little innocent mistakes when we were kids. Thanks, Marian, for sharing your story.
Marian Speerless is a retired remedial reading teacher and freelance writer with a passion for children, seniors and all animals.
[00:08:00] Up next, the fun gets mischievous with a story from Anne Wheeler. Anne shared this at our New Orleans StorySLAM a few years ago. The theme of the night was Strict. Here's Anne, live from New Orleans.
[applause]
Anne: [00:08:16] Hello. When I was a junior in high school, I had a much older aunt who was in her late 70s. And one day, she fell and she broke her hip. As part of the recovery, she had to live in a nursing home for a few months. I had just started driving, and I decided that I was going to go visit her and I was going to meet my cousin Terrell, who was her daughter there. But when I got there, I was a little early, and Terrell wasn't there yet, and my Aunt Honey was asleep, and so I woke her up and she just popped up immediately, which was weird. And she was like, "I'm glad you're here. We've got to do something. We got to go. We got to move quickly."
And I'm like, "Honey, what are we doing?" And she's like, "Help me into my wheelchair." And I was like, "Honey, you're not supposed to get up without a skilled nurse here to help you. And if you fall, I'm going to get in trouble." And she was like, "No, no, it's fine. It's fine. Just help me into the chair." So, that was the first rule that we broke that day. [audience chuckles]
And so, I help her into the chair, and then she grabs this book out of her nightstand and she pulls some money out that she'd been hiding. She goes, "How much money do I have?" And I like, "You have $3, Honey." [audience laughter] And she was like, "Anne, I might have to borrow some money from you." And I was like, "Okay," because she's my aunt and I'd do anything for her. But I was like, "What are we doing?" She’s like, “I've heard that somewhere around here, there's a vending machine. [audience chuckles] And in this vending machine, they have some cinnamon rolls.”
And now, Honey was on a very strict diet at the nursing home. She's pre-diabetic, and she's not supposed to eat and she hadn't been taking care of herself. Just part of the problem, why she's there. And I'm like, "Honey, are you allowed to have cinnamon rolls?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm allowed to have cinnamon rolls." And I was like, "Well, why don't we wait for Terrell to get here?" And she's, "No, no. No, we've got to go before Terrell gets here." [audience laughter] I'm like, "Okay. Honey, are you sure you're allowed to have cinnamon rolls?" And she goes, "Yes, but we have to move quickly, because Terrell's coming." [audience laughter] And I'm like, "Okay." She goes, "Push my chair." And so, we go.
We go downstairs, and we're looking for the vending machine and we can't find it anywhere. There's a group of nurses getting off their shift and they pass by us. As they're passing, one of them says, "Hi, honey. Just remember, no sugar." And I was like, “Oh, my gosh.” Literally, and I'm like, "Honey, are you allowed to have sugar?" And she goes, "That's not my normal nurse. [audience laughter] She doesn't know what my routine is, and she just doesn't know what she's talking about." I'm like, "Okay."
She asked this man, and we end up going into this employees-only room, which is our second rule that we broke. She has me get the cinnamon roll out, and then she's like, "What do you want?" And I'm like, "I don't want anything. I don't want any part of this." And she's like, "We're not leaving until you get something out of this vending machine." And I was like, "Honey, I don't feel good. I just want to go. Let's just go." I'm panicking. And she's like, "Okay, okay, all right, fine. Push my chair." And so, we go.
We're about to get on the elevator, and she's like, "There's a bag on the back of my wheelchair. I want you to put this cinnamon roll in it, zip it up." [audience chuckles] I put the cinnamon roll in and I zip it up and we get on the elevator with this nice family. She's making conversation with them like nothing has happened. [audience laughter] And I'm sweating.
We get off the elevator, and my cousin Terrell is waiting there and she's like, "Where have you been? The nurse said you left. I called your cell phone five times." I burst into tears. [audience chuckles] And I'm like, [sobbing voice] "She made me pirate cinnamon rolls. I don't know. It's in the bag. It's in the bag on her chair." Honey turns to me and she's like, "Anne." And Terrell's like, "Mother, how could you?" I'm crying and I'm like, "I'm just going to go home." And Terrell goes, "I think that would be best." [audience laughter]
[cheers and applause]
Dan: [00:12:33] That's Anne Wheeler. Anne Wheeler lives and works in Louisiana with her two cats, CeCe and Tina Fey. She's currently finishing her master's degree in library science. Anne let us know that Aunt Honey just celebrated her 83rd birthday last month. So, from everyone here at The Moth in New York, we want to wish her a happy belated birthday. To see a few pictures of Anne and Aunt Honey, just visit our site, themoth.org.
Thanks again to Marian and Anne for making their way out to their local SLAMs and sharing a story. Remember, if you're in Milwaukee or New Orleans, you should join us at our open-mic StorySLAMs. They happen every month in both cities, so spread the word. Check out our website, themoth.org. You can get dates there, upcoming themes, all of that information and we hope to see you at one of our SLAMs.
That's it for this episode of The Moth Podcast. And we hope you have a story-worthy week.
Mooj: [00:13:27] Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock On and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller with The Moth.
Dan: [00:13:36] Podcast production by Timothy Lou Ly. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.