Host: Brandon Grant

Brandon: [00:00:04] Welcome to The Moth Podcast. I'm Brandon Grant, your host this week. 

Folks stuck at home during the pandemic sought comfort in so many different ways. Maybe you fancied yourself a sourdough artist. Not me. Mm-mm. Or, danced with your friends on Zoom. Definitely, definitely me. But even with all of the distractions we created, so many people still felt there was something missing. And so, they took to social media and to animal rescue websites to find their perfect dog. My family is one of those households. 

In mid-July, my boyfriend and I, nervous as hell, drove from Harlem to the Grover Cleveland rest stop off I-95 in New Jersey to meet our dog, Billy. We found her through a wonderful rescue group called Wagon Inn, who brought her all the way from Louisiana to join her family. We knew she was our baby girl from the moment we saw her beautiful brown eyes and loving smile. Billy is rambunctious. She enjoys a good belly rub and has a deep, deep passion for chasing squirrels. 

While it hasn't been smooth sailing acclimating her to big city living, thank God for trainers, she's the piece of our puzzle we never knew was missing. So, this week, I'm happy to share two stories all about the love we have for and the love we receive from the dogs who chose us. 

Our first storyteller this week is Linda Fontanilla. Linda told this at a StorySLAM in Seattle, where theme of the night was Love hurts. Just a heads up. For anyone who may be sensitive, Linda's story does contain mentions of suicide. Here's Linda.

[cheers and applause] 

Linda: [00:01:46] The happiest moment in my life was when I jumped into my husband's arms and I got back home from Afghanistan. Yeah. Yeah. [chuckles] So, he picked me up from Fort Benning, Georgia. If you know where that is, it's like the armpit of America. [audience laughter] We drove to D.C., where I was stationed. I was so excited to see Gina. 

So, I had seen a ton of YouTube videos where the dogs and the soldiers reunite. It's always so heartwarming, and I was going to experience that for myself. So, I saw Gina and she barked at me, [audience laughter] because she hadn't seen me in like six or seven months. She came home and it would always be an empty house. She saw me and she was just like, “Oh, oh, that's my person.” So, she came up to me, and ran up to me and she had her tail wagging just enthusiastically. She came up to me and kissed me and circled me. So, that was wonderful. 

So, the next day, Adam, my husband, went to work at a bookstore. It was getting renovated. So, I figured he was really busy and had a lot of work to do. I, on the other hand, had a lot of days off. So, the army does a really good job at preparing you for deployment, like with TBI tests and anti-PTSD stuff. So, I was not ready to come back home. I was really lonely and alienated. I found out that I had a back injury, so I couldn't run or do yoga or do anything of those things that I like to do for stress relief. But what I did was I walked Gina a ton, and I played fetch with her, and I read books about war stories because I felt connected to the people in the books and stuff. 

But Adam was acting a little strange. He would come home late and he would be really withdrawn and quiet and stuff. So, I sat him down and I was just like, “What is up?” And he said, "You were gone, and I liked it. I never wanted to be married to you." [audience aww] Yeah. So, it didn't work out. The only reasons he gave me were, "You don't read enough. You're not artistic enough." [spectator chuckles] [chuckles] So, yeah. But divorce was still really hard for me. I thought I was going to be with him for the rest of my life.

So, I remember deciding to buy a nice purple climbing rope from REI. I was going to go on a walk with Gina, and logistically, I was going to figure out which tree to hang myself on. So, I finally found a tree. The base of the tree was big enough, so I could tie it and anchor me, that is. With a branch that was low enough for me to throw a bulky rope over it and then high enough for me, so if I jumped, I wouldn't be able to save myself because of my height, if I was indecisive or something. Then Gina found the stick. Usually, that means that you got to stop whatever you're doing, because you got to throw the stick. So, I threw the stick. She came back to me, and she had the biggest smile and enthusiastically wagging tail. And that moment, I knew that I had to take care of her and she was going to take care of me. 

So, the army decided to move me across the country to Washington State. I told Adam that I wanted to take Gina with me, because she was my best friend during this really dark time. He told me he couldn't say no to me. So, we moved here. Washington State, there's something so transformative about living here and that's-- I don't know if it's the air, the views, the mountain. It was fantastic. It's been fantastic. So, after a year of living here, the army said, "You're going to deploy again." So, I sent Gina to stay with my family down in San Diego.

My dad really enjoyed it. He said that he had found a partner to keep him healthy, because my mom was not going to be doing that. [audience laughter] Yeah, so, after a couple weeks, the army said, "Just kidding. You got canceled for that deployment." So, I went down to retrieve her. So, my dad was just like, "Hey, can I have your dog?" And I said, "No, but you could." [audience laughter] I said, "No, but you could." Like during the flu season, I work a ton and I'm going to be working on grad school and stuff, so he could keep her for a couple months. So, flu season came around and I sent Gina down to San Diego. This time, I didn't go with her. 

My parents noticed that she was drinking a lot of water and that she was really tired. We thought, she was really anxious from the flight and just really tired. So, the next afternoon, my mom decided to cook her bacon, and Gina came up to her and she collapsed and that was it. [sobs] Yeah, the next couple of days were a blur and they were fucking painful. I knew I had to tell one person who loved her as much as, sorry, as I did, and that was Adam. 

So, I told him about how I got her certified and therapy, because it was something that we talked about, hiking. I said I was sorry for letting him down. He talked about his life that involved art and books and [chuckles] he said, "I didn't let him down." Though we grew apart in passions we had the same love for a wonderful, amazing dog. I am so thankful that I had her. She saved me. Through her, I learned about focus, [sobs] joy and true love. Thank you. 

[cheers and applause] 

Brandon: [00:08:56] That was Linda Fontanilla. Then Captain, Linda served as an army nurse for nine years. She left the army to attend graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania. Linda, now Dr. Torres, has volunteered on the Board of Veterans Service organizations, including Team Foster, a nonprofit that links veterans to service dogs. She currently lives near Philadelphia with her husband and golden retriever, Ari. To see some photos of Linda and her late dog Gina, head to the Extras for this episode on our website, themoth.org/extras. 

[00:09:30] September is Suicide Awareness Month. To see a list of resources for folks who may be struggling, visit the Extras for this episode on our website. 

[00:09:39] Our next storyteller is Beth Bradley. Beth told this at a StorySLAM in Denver, where the theme of the night was Magic. Here’s Beth, live at The Moth.

[cheers and applause] 

Beth: [00:09:56] So, Suzy was not a perfect dog, but she was our dog and we loved her. My mom first laid eyes on her at the animal shelter, and she just fell in love with Suzy’s cute little foxy face. She had this curly tail and thick black fur. So, my whole family, my dad, my mom, and my two sisters and I headed over there to see if we had a good vibe with Suzy. I do remember that the animal shelter lady pointed out she was worried that my dad and Suzy might not be bonding that well. That was probably true. My dad is not that much of an animal person and thinks of pets as just, like, another hassle to deal with. But as usual, the rest of us overruled my dad, [chuckles] and we got to bring Suzy home and she became our first family dog. 

So, to be fair, Suzy really could be kind of a hassle. Her favorite hobby was barking at anyone that dared to walk by our house. And the other thing she liked to try to do was escape. So, one time, she actually combined those hobbies, and she launched herself through the front window of our house through the screen in pursuit of some strangers, so we had to go lure her back into our house. But on the other hand, she could be very sweet.

So, one time, I remember in high school, I had broken up with a boyfriend and I was crying, and Suzy came and just leaned up against me, and I could tell she was like, "You know, I got your back." But over the years, my dad’s feelings toward Suzy didn’t really warm up. He just tolerated her, generally thought of her as pretty annoying. But honestly, my dad could make my sisters and I feel that way too sometimes. [audience laughter] Yeah. [laughs] It was hard to ask him for help, and he could respond to us in the same way that he was annoyed with Suzy the dog. 

But one night, we were all sitting down to dinner. We were going to get to watch TV and eat dinner at the same time in the TV room, which was a big deal. So, we’re all getting set up and we notice Suzy is nowhere. So, one other thing about Suzy is, she might not have been as into us as we were into her. [chuckles] So, she really just mainly liked waiting at the window for people to bark at. But dinnertime was one time she would deign to be with us, because she liked to eat the crumbs off the floor. So, it was very suspicious that she wasn’t around. So, we’re calling for her. We’re like, "Suzy, Suzy." She’s not coming. So, we figured she must be outside. 

So, my two sisters and I go outside to look for her. We’re calling for her some more. We don’t see her. But we do see this little shape toward the back of the yard. So, we’re running toward it. As we get closer, we hear this weird, low wheezing sound. We get there, we see that it’s Suzy and it’s her little limp body. She’s laying there, and she’s actually gotten her head stuck in the drain from the house and she’s suffocating. So, we are panicking. We’re screaming for my parents. They run outside. It’s kind of a blur. Like, my mom finds the kitchen scissors to actually cut her out of this tube, and we free her. But by that time, she’s not breathing and we’re just panicking. So, my dad scoops her up. 

I just remember her little head just kind of lolls to the side, and her eyes had kind of glassed over. So, we run inside the house. Just total pandemonium. Crying, trying to find the vet’s number. My dad’s just sitting there on the couch holding her. We’re looking at him, he’s looking up at us and without saying anything, he cups his hand around Suzy’s snout and he puts his mouth on her mouth and he blows. [blows air] And then, he does it again. [blows air] We’re just in total stunned silence. [chuckles] 

Another thing to know about Suzy is we had seen her eat a lot of disgusting crap in her life. [audience laughter] [laughs] Like, she literally would eat crap. Like dead birds and that kind of things. So, I really would like to know the animal shelter lady’s opinion of their bond in that moment. So, he does it a few more times. He blows a few more times. And then, it was like a spell lifted. Suzy’s eyes pop open. Like, I see the life just flood into them, just like Sleeping Beauty or something and she’s blinking. 

My dad sets her down. We’re all just in complete shock. Suzy’s looking up at us like, "What?" [audience laughter] We have the vet on the phone by that time and we’re explaining what happened. And he’s like, "Well, is she walking around and everything?" And we’re like, "Yeah." And he’s like, "I think she’s okay." [audience laughter] So, [chuckles] she was. She was okay. She actually lived a very long time after that. She lived a very happy life. She became old enough to become incontinent actually and, [audience laughter] [laughs] she-- 

So, that was one more thing my dad got to deal with, was changing Suzy’s dog diapers. [audience laughter] But I’ve thought a lot about that moment in the years since like, my dad looking up at us and us looking at him, I don’t think that he realized his love for her, and that’s what made him kiss our dog on the mouth. I think that he really just couldn’t stand to see our hearts broken, and he did it because he loved us. So, I think dogs are not perfect, dads are not perfect, [chuckles] but love itself is perfect. And sometimes it even gives you magic powers.

[cheers and applause] 

Brandon: [00:15:48] That was Beth Bradley. Beth Bradley is a marketing content director who lives in Denver. She loves adventure of all kinds and has been telling stories since she could talk. Beth and her two sisters all have their own dogs now, and all three grand dogs unabashedly adore Beth’s dad. To see some photos of Beth, her dad and Suzy the dog, head to our website, themoth.org/extras. While you’re there, you’ll also find photos of my family, including Billy, our newest member. Whether you have a dog, cat, iguana or fish, we hope these stories remind you of the joy and love that animals bring to the world. 

That’s all for this episode. From all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy and woof-worthy week.

Davy: [00:16:37] Brandon Grant is a proud Jamaican-American queer man, devout Harlemite, and director of marketing for The Moth. But he counts his favorite titles as being dog dad to Billy and uncle to Kai and Quest. 

This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Jenness, Sarah Jane Johnson, Julia Purcell and me, Davy Sumner. 

The rest of The Moth’s leadership team includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jenifer Hixson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klutse, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Glodowski and Aldi Kaza. 

All Moth stories are true, as remembered by storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, visit our website, themoth.org. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.