Host: Suzanne Rust
Suzanne: [00:00:02] Welcome to All Together Now, Fridays with The Moth. I'm your host for this week, Suzanne Rust. Due to the current stay at home order, I'm not able to record at our Moth studio. So, kindly bear with me and any imperfect sound as I record this podcast from my tiny New York City closet.
This month, our stories look inward and reflect on the experiences and the people who help make us who we are. Our two stories today are about the support systems that inspire and shape us. Our first story is from Neshaune Lasley. Neshaune told the story to Louisville StorySLAM. The theme of the night was Beauty. Here's Neshaune, live at The Moth.
[cheers and applause]
Neshaune: [00:00:43] "Open up your arms, relax your stance. Spread your legs. Keep going." “Oh, my God, Daddy, if you don't shut up, I'm going to come across this fence and show you how relaxed I am.” [audience chuckle]
Mind you, I'm in the middle of a 400-yard dash, which I don't know how anybody dashes 400 yards [audience chuckle] in high school. And mind you, this is also a race I did not want to run, but because I was kind of fast, but not super fast, I got to run the 400-yard dash. So, I didn't want to go. The person who was supposed to be there just didn't show up, which I was wishing I had done at that moment, [audience chuckle] but I was there.
And from the moment I stomped to my place in line to the starting little thingies, runners, my dad was there yelling, "Open up your hands. You know, open your stride. Go, Venae, go." I wasn't here for it the first couple of laps. But there's something you need to know about my dad. He has always been my cheerleader. He was a coach. So, everything he told us came out like in, “Go, you can do it. Do your best.” [audience chuckle] He always repeated everything. Like, I can tell you everything. He always told us, “Keep your eyes wide open. Expect the best from people, but be prepared for the worst.” Like, he told us the same thing over and over. But it was all to make us better people and to encourage us.
I remember one time when I came home from college, my dad was sitting in the living room watching a documentary on Beyoncé. [audience laughter] So, this was pre-Queen Bey status, but I was still digging her. [audience chuckle] So, I sat down to watch with him. We're just enjoying it just sitting down like fathers and daughters do, I guess, watch Beyoncé. [audience laughter]
At one point, Beyoncé tells when her birthday is. I'm born 1981, Beyoncé was born September 4th. Everybody knows that. [audience laughter] And so, at that moment, my dad just looks over at me, like, looks back at Beyoncé, and he looks at me again, and he looks back at Beyoncé and he's like, "She's the same age as you." I'm like, "Yeah, we just-- Both heard in 1981." He looks at me. "You know how many millions she's made?" [audience laughter] So, I looked at my dad and I said, "You realize her dad is her manager, right? [audience laughter] Okay?" [audience applause]
But me and my dad, he laughed it off and he's like, "No, I'm just trying to get you to understand. She's the same age as you. She was a little girl, and then she grew up and she followed her dreams. Now, you can do anything that you want to do, anything you put your mind to." But back to that race, [audience chuckle] I am running begrudgingly. But it seems like-- If you know how you run track, it's a circle, right? But there are corners. If you're running, that's the way it helped me break it up to think of it as, little corners. I would count the corners, and that's how I know how soon I would be done. [audience laughter]
At every dagum corner, there is my daddy. He's 50 years old, I promise you, at every corner. I'm running as fast as I can. I'm like, "How were you just here and now you're here and telling me, 'Go, Venae, go?'" [audience laughter] I really wanted to yell, "Shut up, Daddy. Like, just let me run." But I just thought, okay, the best way to shut him up is to run. I was way behind to start, because I did not want to run. But he's still there, and he's just yelling, "Go." So, I just start going.
I'm just cooking and booking. Like, “I can't wait to get to the end of this thing, so I can tell him to leave me alone, don't ever do that when I run again.” And then, suddenly, I look up and I realize, oh, crap. I'm close. I could win this thing. Here's the girl that's supposed to win. Here's everybody else, “I don't even know how this happened.” [audience laughter] But I'm like, “There's no way I'm beating her.” I wasn't close to her though, right? She's up there, but it was just me and her, right?
And so, then I hear my dad, "Come on, Venae, you can take her. You can take her." And I'm like, “No, I can't, Daddy. She's up there.” [audience laughter] But I was like, “Okay, whatever. Forget it. I'mma do it.” So, I just start booking and I'm like, “Okay, Daddy said I could do it. I can do it. It's always been true my whole life. I could do it.” And sure enough, we're toe-to-toe. And homegirl looks over at me like, "Hold up. Where'd you come from? [audience laughter] This is my race.”
She was taking all the things my daddy was saying and my name's Venae, right? And so, I'm just going. And I'm like, “I can do this.” I promise you, it was like something you see on TV, like, it was her, then it was me, then it was her, then it was me. Then I hear my daddy, "Go, Venae, go." And so, I went. It just so happened there was the line and I won. [audience cheers and applause]
I was so pumped. I'm really super sad to tell you that my dad passed in 2008. When I think about all those times he repeated things to me, it got on my nerves, I'd be like, "Daddy, shut up! You tell me that every day. You're always telling me that." But I feel like somewhere in him, he must have known or God knew, that I was going to need those things, because I lost him when I was 27. He's not there to repeat those things anymore. But I don't have to worry, because every time I get to a corner and think, I'm not going to make it, I can hear the most beautiful voice in the world saying, "Go, Venae, go."
[cheers and applause]
Suzanne: [00:06:31] That was Neshaune Lasley. She describes herself as "a teacher by trade but somewhere inside is a writer and a speaker trying to be all God wants me to be." She hopes her stories entertain and inspire others to find joy in the journey.
Up next, Sue Schmidt. Sue told the story at a Miami StorySLAM, where the theme of the night was Ambition. Here's Sue, live with The Moth.
[applause]
Sue: [00:06:59] So, the first sentence I ever learned in Italian was si prega di portare libertà, which means, "Please bring to me liberty." Or, in my great grandmother's case, bail money. [audience laughter]
My great grandmother was an Italian immigrant who came to this country and became a garment worker in New York City. She had been arrested so many times fighting with the suffragettes for the women's right to vote that this was the sentence that her daughter most remembered about her. And so-- [whispers] I'm just going to lower this. Sorry, I touched the mic. I touched it. [audience laughter] And so, my great grandmother died the year that I was born, so I don't remember much about her at all, with the exception of the stories that my family would tell. And this one picture that sat on my grandparents' wall was a picture of her wading in the waters off of Coney Island in this long black dress pulled up between her legs and tied off at the waist, because she couldn't afford a bathing suit.
And so, the thing about Italian New York families, is you might think that men are in charge. But really in my family, the people that were in charge were the people that could win the most arguments. [audience chuckle] And if arguing were an Olympic sport, the women in my family would be gold medalists. [audience chuckle] Because while the men outnumbered the women three to one, the men in my family, when they would argue, is they would use this thing called facts. [audience laughter] They argued like it was an individual sprint.
And the women would know that arguing is really a long-distance relay. [audience laughter] There are arguments that started in small fishing villages in Sicily that are happening right now in Brooklyn. And so, in the summer of 1972, this amazing thing happened. And on television one day was Karen Carpenter playing the drums. I had to pick an instrument. And I knew I wanted to be a drummer. So, I knew in order to do this, I'd have to convince the women in my family that this was a good thing to do. And so, one Sunday afternoon at dinner, I said, "I want to be a drummer." And instantly, my grandfather said, "Women don't play the drums." My aunt turned around and she said, "Yeah, women can play the drums. She can play whatever she wants."
And my father then said, “Well, there are no women drummers.” And my grandmother looked at him and said, “Karen Carpenter plays the drums.” And I thought, the gold medal's going to the women. [audience laughter] And then, my grandfather said, “Well, I don't think she's a very good role model.” And my grandmother looked at him and said, “You're not a very good role model either, [audience laughter] and yet you are still here.” [audience laughter] And my grandfather said, “Well, she wears pants on stage.” And my grandmother said, “You wear pants, and again, you are still here.” And the gold medal goes to the women.
And so, that fall, I joined a drum line, me and nine boys. Now, the other thing that was happening in 1972 was that Title IX had just been passed. So, women were showing up everywhere and boys were pissed. And so, I showed up every day with my drumsticks and I practiced really hard. In spite of everything that they did, they stole my sheet music, they would take my drumsticks, I persevered. And so, when this came for the winter concert, the band master picked me to play the drum set. And this was an incredible honor. I knew every single stroke of that music. My parents were so proud that my mother bought me this long, green velvet flowing gown. [audience laughter] And so, this thing was incredible.
I get on stage and I'm playing along, and I look over and all the boys are snickering at me and laughing at me, and I'm not just paying attention at all. And then, I realized somewhere between the Hanukkah Medley and Frosty the Snowman, that long velvet gown is not the best thing to play for the drum set. [audience laughter] And so, I look out into the audience and I'm panicked. Raven [unintelligible 00:11:24] looks over at me and is like, “I'll take your jump set solo.” And I was like, “I'm doing this, [audience laughter] and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get into the position for the drum set in this long gown.” I look out at my family, and there's like three rows of them.
My grandmother is so proud, she's crying. I know in that moment what I need to do. I stride up to the corner of that stage, and I reach down and I pull that dress up between my legs. [audience cheers and applause] And I tie that fricking thing off at the waist and I sit down at the drum set and I frickin' rock that thing. [audience cheers and applause]
I come off stage, my family's in the lobby, and my grandmother comes up to me and she hugs me and she says, “Your great-grandmother is here with you tonight, [audience laughter] and she's so proud.” I fell asleep that night with the cymbals ringing in my ears and that feeling of your heart pounding in your chest when you've worked really hard for something and you've been able to achieve.
I realized I don't think my great-grandmother meant bail money at all. I think she meant liberty. I think she |meant the right for women to vote, I think she meant the right for us to show our legs at Coney Island on a hot summer day without being harassed and I think she meant the hope that comes that if you work really hard for something, even if you don't get to achieve it, that one day, maybe your daughter or your granddaughter or your great-granddaughter will get to be up on stage and they will just get to rock that frickin' thing.
[cheers and applause]
Suzanne: [00:13:16] That was Sue Schmidt. Sue is a stand-up comedian and a storyteller. She also happens to be our regional producer for The Moth StorySLAM series in Burlington, Vermont. She actually told the story while she was on vacation in Miami.
Sue's work has been featured on New England Public Radio and CBS Sunday Morning. She's also the founder of Say It Forward Productions, an organization that helps nonprofits bring the stories of their work to life. To see Sue rocking out with her band, The Brevity Thing, you can find links on our website themoth.org.
So, although these storytellers had very different experiences, both women had people in their lives who supported them and gave them the confidence to move forward. What is your relationship like with the people who make up your support systems? Have they had a big influence on your life and your choices? Here are some prompts to help you think of stories of your own.
What's something you were able to do that surprised you? Who's a person that believed in you or helped you believe in yourself? What's something you really love to do that feels like it's part of who you are?
That's it for this week. We want to hear from you and how you're liking All Together Now. Share your photos, story prompt answers, thoughts and feelings with us on Facebook and Twitter, @themoth, and on Instagram, @mothstories. Until next time, from all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy week.
Julia: [00:14:43] Suzanne Rust is The Moth's Senior Curatorial Producer, editor of The Moth Review interview series and one of the hosts of The Moth's Friday Podcast. In addition to finding new voices and fresh stories for The Moth stage, Suzanne creates playlists and helps curate special storytelling events.
Suzanne: [00:15:02] Podcast production by Julia Purcell. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, a Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.