Host: Chloe Salmon

Chloe: [00:00:04] Welcome to All Together Now, Fridays with The Moth. I'm your host for this week, Chloe Salmon. If you've ever been to a live Moth show I've produced, you might know me as the woman you've witnessed setting the scene while sprinting back and forth with a truly frightening intensity. At the moment, I'm stationary and so very excited to say hello and thank you for listening. 

Today, we will hear two stories from that most ethereal female, fierce, loving and extraordinary group of human beings, Black women. The stories in this episode remind us of the courage and determination it takes to believe in yourself and the joy that can shine through when you do. 

First up this week, a story from Shawna Renee Collins. Shawna told this story at a StorySLAM in Washington D.C., where the theme of the night was Ego. Here's Shawna, live at The Moth.

[cheers and applause] 

Shawna: [00:01:00] So, if you were to ask the 13-year-old version of myself, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd tell you one of two things. Madonna's backup singer, dancer. [audience chuckle] Yes. Or, a Broadway actress. Since Madonna had-- What's her name? Donna and Nikki, I decided, okay, I'll be a Broadway actress. And so, my journey towards stardom started at the North Rosedale Park Community Players in the beautiful city of Detroit, Michigan. [audience chuckle] Yeah.

So, it started one year when I decided that I was going to try out for every play that year. I got some really good supporting roles in Annie, and I got a supporting role in Oliver! and I played one of those like doo-wop singers in the Little Shop of Horrors. But again, these were like supporting roles. I wanted a starring role. So, I discovered that that Christmas, they were going to be doing a special children's Christmas play, Princess and the Pea or Once Upon a Mattress. You know, same thing. 

Anyway, I said, “This is my chance. I am going to star in this play.” [audience chuckle] So, I prepared a little monologue, I prepared a song and I got up there for auditions. They had us all lined up. So, I was like, “Okay, checking out the competition.” [audience chuckle] Like, “New. [chuckles] New.” Now, maybe was Ingrid Small, right? So, Ingrid Small was that very little chocolate drop. Ingrid Small [audience chuckle] was Annie in Annie. Ingrid Small was Oliver in Oliver! But what Ingrid Small wasn't going to be [audience laughter] was the princess. [audience holler and applause] 

So, I said, Okay. No.” So, here we are. Now, it's time for me to come up and I do my monologue. Killed it. [chuckles] [audience chuckles] And then, it was time for me to do the song. So, I said, "Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do that song the English Ingrid sang in Oliver! And I'm going to--" I just sat up there and I breathed in and I was like, "Where is love.” Killed It. Got the part. Yes. Thank you very much. [audience cheer and applause] 

So, rehearsals start the next day. The first rehearsal, usually you're going through like blocking and lines and things like that. No problem. I got this. It's cool. The second day, we're going through the musical numbers or whatever. So, I'm like, "Okay." I'm with the music director. He's playing the piano and I start to sing, "We all live happily, happily ever after." But it sounds like a train wreck. It sounds awful. So, I'm like, "Dude, can you play the right key?" And he's like, "I'm in the right key." [audience chuckle] 

So, we go through this a couple of times. It doesn't work. I'm super frustrated, because it sounds awful. I'll have to admit, he was terrible. [audience laughter] So, I go to my dressing room, which doubled as the women's bathroom. [audience chuckle] I'm in the stall, and I hear two women talking. One of the women was like, "What's going on?" And the other one was like, "I'll tell you what's going on. The girl can't sing. She's tone deaf. They should have just let Ingrid have the part." It was Ingrid's mother, [audience aww] I'll tell you. I was devastated for two seconds, because I'm a Leo and I'm like, "I'm going to do this."[audience cheers and applause] 

So, I go home to my mom and I'm like, "Ma, look, I got to do this." I'm complaining to my mother about it. Now, my stepfather, who is one of those men, he doesn't like a whole lot of talk and complaining. He's really about business. So, he goes out of the house for about two hours and he comes back with a record. This was a little while ago, so with an LP. It was the soundtrack to Once Upon a Mattress, starring Carol Burnett. He gives it to me, he says, "Look, you guys got something in common. You both have the same part. She can't sing. Neither can you. Figure it out." [audience laughter] 

So, I spent [chuckles] the entire week between rehearsals memorizing, like every tone and intonation, everything. I'm like, "Okay, I can get this. I can get this." So, finally, I memorized everything. I could do a perfect Carol Burnett–like imitation. So, I go and I say, "Look, obviously, your music director is whack. He's not doing what he's supposed to do. So, what I would instead like for you to do is during the play, put on this record and let me do my thing." [audience laughter] [chuckles] And they did. [audience laughter] And I killed it. [audience laughter] Thank you.

[cheers and applause] 

Chloe: [00:06:06] That was Shawna Renee Collins. Shawna says that she desperately wanted to sing, despite being tone deaf. And to make it work for this show, they found the movie's score, and Shawna did her best Carol Burnett impression and as she said, hilled it. While she never made it to Broadway, Shawna did record a children's song about growing hydroponic tomatoes. It aired in West Africa on the first ever satellite radio network, WorldSpace. 

These days, Shawna Renee is an international broadcast journalist and storyteller. She says she's dedicated her life to making choices that might create interesting stories. Some good, some not so good. Out of all the things she's done, her life as a wife and mother provides her the greatest joy and the best stories. 

Up next, Audrey Pleasant. Audrey came to The Moth through our community program, which partners with organizations to deepen connections between communities. Audrey told this story at a Mainstage show in NYC, where the theme of the night was New York Stories. Here's Audrey, live at The Moth.

[cheers and applause] 

Audrey: [00:07:23] Tommy. Tommy Johnson. That was my humiliator. At the age of 13, how could you be so humiliated? Let me not get ahead of myself. You see, I was going to a church right across the street from me-- that was at 141st Street in Harlem between 7th and 8th Avenue. They had a center down there that we used to go down to dance. My dance step, side to side shuffle, [audience chuckle] side to side shuffle, regardless of what type of music it was. [audience laughter] 

I would go there and I'd sit on the side where the young ladies would sit that didn't get a chance to dance too much. I would sit and sit, and this young man by the name of Tommy Johnson would come and ask me to dance. I'd get up and I'd follow him out to the dance floor, like the moth to the flame. We get out there, Tommy would do slides, turns, splits, bend over and shake a tail feather. [audience chuckle] I would do my little favorite step, side, side, side. [audience chuckle] Regardless of what he did, I would side, side, side. That was my movement. 

Well, Tommy did this so much, and I got tired of it. I mean, I really got tired of it. I went home one night after being humiliated, and I laid on my bed crying and thinking about Tommy and his splits and his turns and his bending over and shaking a tail feather forever. I thought about doing a step. I said, “I could do this. I could do this.”

I got up off that bed, got my belt out of the closet, put it on the doorknob, tightened it up, closed that door and I started doing me some slides. Almost tripped over my own foot, [audience chuckle] but I still did my slides. I bent over and I shook a tail feather. I even did a little twirling. Then I did the half split. I couldn't do the whole split, [audience chuckle] of course, but the half split would suffice me. I kept this up for a whole month. 

I mean, I would eat. I would stop and eat, yes. I'd stop and go to school, I had to go to school, because my mother wasn't going to have that. I come back home, do my homework, have my dinner, go to my room and I'd do my little dancing. I practiced and practiced and practiced. 

And one night, the closet door came open and I bumped my head, but I just shook that off and kept right on dancing. [audience chuckle] I even practiced doing the headstand. I bumped my head again on the floor, shook that off and tried it again till I got it. Like I said, I did that for a whole month till I felt I had it together. And then, one night, one Friday night at 6 o'clock, I got dressed and I went down to the center and I sat in my same little spot. 

Now, I don't know who Tommy was dancing with while I was gone, but I guess he was dancing with somebody. But I sat in my same spot waiting, just waiting for him to come over and ask me to dance. True to form, here comes Mr. Tommy Johnson. [audience chuckle] I got up and I followed him out to the dance floor. 

Now, when you get out there on the dance floor, if you're really doing something spectacular, a crowd will gather around you. Now, that crowd is there to help you stay inside the circle to let the person that's doing the fantastic dancing, do their thing. And if you're not dancing so good and you try to get out that circle, you can't go nowhere. [audience chuckle] You got to stay inside that circle and endure the humiliation. [audience laughter] 

Well, Tommy had asked me to dance again. I was inside the circle and he was doing his splits. He was doing his turns, his slides. I mean, he had it going on. He was sliding all over the place, and then bending over and shaking a tail feather. I let him go right ahead. "Go ahead, slide some more. Do the split. Shake a tail feather." He even galloped like he was riding a pony. [audience laughter] I said, "Yeah, go right ahead, go right ahead." I got tired of looking at him doing all his slides and everything, and I slid up to his face and he stood there with his mouth wide open, [audience laughter] looking at me all wide eyed or bug eyed. 

I showed him what I could do. I showed him my slides. And I mean, I slide-- You could think I was James Brown. [audience laughter] I was sliding so good. I showed him how I could bend over and shake a tail feather. I went and did me a half split, which I could do. Did it pretty good too. He tried to walk out the circle, [audience laughter] but they wouldn't let him out. [audience laughter] They came in tighter and enforced it. And that made me more determined to do my slides, my shaker, tail feather. I even did like the pony too. [audience chuckle] Showed him I knew what I could do. And then, when I tired of him, I slid up to his face again and [blows a kiss] threw him a kiss. [audience chuckle] Let him know that, "Hey, you ain't got it all like that. I got me a little bit of it too" and I walked out of that circle. 

Now, I didn't go back to the center for a while and I didn't know what happened Tommy Johnson. But anyway, one day I was walking down 125th street between 7th and 8th Avenue. The Apollo Theater's around there. Across the street, there was a store called the Record Shack. They were playing some music. I mean, they were throwing down. It was one of James Brown's records too. 

Something just came over me and I started dancing. Next thing I knew, I had a crowd of people around me and I just showed off even more so. And this man stepped out of the audience and he said, "You know what, miss, you should be at the Apollo Theater." I looked at that man like he was crazy. [audience chuckle] He said, "I'm serious." He said, "Here.” He said, “Come here at this time and on this date.” I took the paper and I said, "Well, I couldn't lose. I might gain something." 

And on that day, and at that precise time, I went to the Apollo Theater. They had a group performing up there called the Coasters. And the lead singer was Speedo. He would come down and interact with the audience. He would take the mic and he would put it to somebody. He said, "Whoa" and then he put the mic to somebody's mouth and they said nothing. He went to the next person, "Whoa." He got nothing. He came to me, he said, "Whoa." I said, "Wow." [audience laughter] 

He jumped back and looked at me and he grabbed my hand and he pulled me up on the stage. That's the first time in my life I had ever seen anybody do the twist one leg while they got the other leg extended in front of him. Well, I couldn't do that. So, I did the best thing I could do. I turned around and showed him my posterior jumping up one at a time. [audience laughter] He took off his shirt. I screamed and I ran off the stage. I hurried up and got back to my seat.

The usher came down with a flashlight and he was shining in my face. I said, "Oh, gosh, did I do something wrong?" He said, "Miss, come here." I got up and I went to him. He said, "The manager wants to see you." And I thought to myself, I'm going to get put out of theater. They're going to put me out. They're really going to put me out. I paid to come in here. [audience laughter] But I went up to the manager, brave, very brave. He said, "Are you working anywhere, miss?" I said, "No, sir." Now here, I'm 13 years old. And he said, "Would you like to appear here on the stage with the Coasters for the rest of the week?" “Would I?” “Yes.” 

He said, "You'll get paid Friday, just like they do." I said, "Thank you." He said, "You wouldn't have to go up on the stage every show, but be here every day." I was truly formed. I was there every day. I went up on the stage some of the times. And one time, I was up there on the stage and who made an appearance was James Brown himself. I said, "Wow." Then I really did something then. [audience chuckle] I did my slides. I had trained myself so well that I could do the slide, make it into Figure 8. He looked at me and he said, "Wow, Lil mama." [audience laughter] That became my stage name, Lil Mama. 

And from there I went to the Carver Ballroom, the Renaissance Ballroom, the Audubon Ballroom, the Baby Grand, Smalls Paradise. I did my slide and my bendo and shake a tail feather. I even did the fly. [audience chuckle] I stopped doing my little side to side. That was off the hook. No more doing that. I know more doing that. But you see, I never knew what happened to Tommy Johnson. But deep down in my heart, I thanked him for humiliating me the way he did, because it made me more determined. I mean, I was determined to show him that I was not going to be a little step, step, step, step, step. I was going to show him something, and I showed him and I showed the ones that held me back in that circle that I could do something, hold him back and let me do my thing. Wow, mama got a brand-new bag.

[cheers and applause]

Chloe: [00:18:27] That was Audrey Pleasant. Audrey is a native New Yorker who has spent the better part of her life entertaining others. She's a poet, a writer, a mother and a grandmother. 

Listening to Shawna and Audrey's stories reminded me of my own grandmother, Rosa Salmon, who immigrated from Jamaica to the UK with my grandfather in the early 1950s. She worked as a nurse and raised five kids; my dad included. In addition to having a slipper that, legend has it, could maneuver around any corner and in order to catch an unruly head, she had a lot of laughter and love to give. 

My dad tells me that he cherished the impromptu dance parties my grandmother would start while cooking in the kitchen. With a declaration of "No eating without dancing," she'd grab her kids by the hand and they would boogie on down. My dad took inspiration from those kitchen dance parties when starting his own family after he moved to America. I remember many nights from my childhood when he would dust off his record collection and blast them in the basement, waiting for my brothers, my mom and myself to burst out of our rooms and dance the night away. I didn't have the voice of Shawna Renee Collins or the moves of Audrey Pleasant, but I treasured my Nana's tradition and took my piece of the joy and love that flowered where she planted it. 

Stories connect us in unexpected ways, and to share them is to extend a hand in an act of generosity. Honor those who are brave enough to share by starting a conversation and sharing a story of your own. Here are some prompts to get you started.

When was a time that learning something new brought you joy? Have you ever set out to change someone's perception of you? If so, what did you learn in your success or your failure? Need a minute to think about it? You can also find the prompts in the Extras for this episode on our website, themoth.org/extras. 

I want to thank Shawna and Audrey for their generosity in sharing their stories and their joy with us. Black Joy is a powerful medicine and a testament to the indomitable spirit of those who carry it. I'm also here with your daily reminder to celebrate, support, uplift, listen to and protect Black trans and CIS women. Until next time from all of us here at The Moth, have a story worthy week.

Julia: [00:20:56] Chloe Salmon is a producer on The Moth's Mainstage and StorySLAM teams, a director on the Mainstage and a member of the Pitchline team. Her favorite Moth moments come on show days when the cardio is done, the house lights go down and the magic settles in.

Chloe: [00:21:13] Podcast production by Julia Purcell. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.