Host: Aleeza Kazmi
Aleeza: [00:00:02] Welcome to All Together Now, Fridays with The Moth. I'm your host for this week, Aleeza Kazmi. Today, two stories about the ups and downs of growing up.
Our younger selves may have been self-conscious and made some questionable fashion decisions, but how we handle these awkward moments as kids makes us who we are as adults.
Our first story this week is from Dante Jackson. Dante came to The Moth through our Education Program, just like I did. We first met during a show produced by The Moth’s EDU team at a public school here in New York City. We’ve told stories together over half a dozen times, and I love his story more and more with each retelling.
My favorite part is watching the students hear it for the first time. By the end, they’re usually rolling on the floor laughing, both figuratively and literally. Dante told this story at a New York City high school StorySLAM, where the theme of the night was Freedom. Here’s Dante, live at The Moth.
[cheers and applause]
Dante: [00:01:07] Okay. Well, back in middle school, I wasn’t really the type of kid to let myself have any fun. I was afraid that if I let myself have fun, I’d end up being judged. I don’t like being judged. [audience chuckle] So, eighth grade comes around. Prom is coming up. Everybody’s talking about it. “Hey, you going to prom?” “I’m going to prom.” “You know what you’re wearing?” “You know who you going with?” “Oh, I know who I’m going with.” [audience chuckle] But me, I wasn’t planning on it. I didn’t really want to go. I thought I’d just skip it. I thought I’d just end up being a kid in a corner, chicken in hand, [audience laughter] just standing there. So, after being constantly bugged by friends and family, I decided, “You know what? What the heck? Might as well go. Let’s just hear what it’s going to be about.”
So, graduation and prom was on the same day. Graduation was early on in the day. We sang Celine Dion. I hated it. [audience laughter] So, I go home, I get dressed, I throw on my suit, have my little fedora on, [audience laughter] stunting. So, I’m going to my friend Shannon’s house. It’s a block away from my house, not far. She lives next to this daycare I used to go to. There’s a family of Trinidadians, I’ve known them since birth. They’re like my second family.
We’re all outside chilling. My mom’s taking a bajillion pictures, how they get around this time. [audience laughter] Yeah. [chuckles] Well, I should say first that Shannon comes outside. Typically, she’s a tomboy. She’s usually just [unintelligible 00:03:06] shirt, jeans, sneakers, that’s it. But she comes out, she got her hair down, she got her little white dress on, she got the real huge hoop earrings. [audience laughter] So, now, I’m standing here, I’m like, “Huh. [audience laughter] Well, now.” [chuckles]
So we get in the truck. It’s about a 15, 20-minute drive, not very long. I get there, and all my friends are standing outside. “Hey, Dante. Hey, you decided to show up.” I’m like, “Hey.” So, I go inside. The space is a little smaller than I thought it would be. Granted, there’s not a lot of us, but it looked pretty fancy looking. I thought it was a good place to be. Music starts playing. Everybody’s on the dance floor. I’m in the corner, standing there chicken in hand. [audience laughter]
I had a few people come up to me and tried to pull me onto the dance floor, but I wasn’t moving. I was not moving. I wasn’t moving for anything, but chicken. So, the DJ decides to put on this song and now he starts saying, "Everybody that's not dancing. Got to grab 'em, pull 'em on that dance floor. Anybody, you see anybody standing on the wall, you got to grab 'em, bring 'em on the floor." So, immediately, 20 heads come at me [audience chuckle] and try to drag me onto the dance floor.
At this point, I'm just done fighting it. I'm like, "You know what? What the heck? I'm just going to go on that dance floor. I'm going to have a good time." I'm standing awkwardly in the middle of the dance floor, just looking around. [audience laughter] So, I try not to make myself look suspicious, so I started doing a little-- [audience laughter] I started doing a little two steps. This is where it was at. [audience laughter] So, gradually over time, I start getting more into it.
The little two step turns into a little, turns a little to a shuffle [audience laughter] and that shuffle turns into a crisscross and that crisscross turns into God knows what. [audience laughter] I don't even know what I was-- [audience laughter] I don't even know what I was doing anymore. I just know that I'm on fire [audience laughter] and I'm busting moves I never thought was possible for me. I wasn't aware of this until I took the time to look around and I'm stuck in that little circle they make. Everybody's like, "Hey, go Dante. Go Dante." [audience laughter] "Hey." It turns out that was one of the best nights of my life. It was like my life up until that point. I was locked in a dark room, but then I decided to unlock the door and I took a step out and I learned how to dance.
[cheers and applause]
Aleeza: [00:06:18] That was Dante Jackson. Dante first came to The Moth during his senior year of high school back in 2014. He went on to tell the story at The Moth's first ever high school GrandSLAM, where he won third place. Dante is an aspiring dancer, and he promises he'll have videos to share with us very soon. To see some photos of Dante in the eighth grade, head to the Extras for this episode on our website, themoth.org/extras.
Our next story today is from Ivan Kuraev. Ivan told this story at a New York City StorySLAM, where theme of the night was Romeos and Femme Fatales. Here's Ivan, live at The Moth.
[cheers and applause]
Ivan: [00:07:06] So, can you hear me? Okay. [audience respond] So, all I remember about Abby was that she had long brown hair. And that as soon as I saw her, I was totally and utterly in love with her. What I remember best about her was that she wanted nothing to do with me.
It was 1997, and I was eight years old and this was my first time in America. My English was really, really, really bad. I studied some English and Russian first grade. But we learned from these Soviet textbooks that were maybe from the 1950s or 1960s. And most of the lessons were something along the lines of, "Comrade, what time do you take tea?" [audience laughter] Or "Could you please point out the way to the Red Square?" [audience laughter]
So, when I enrolled in second grade at Coralville Elementary School just outside of Iowa, these lessons were pretty useless. They were especially useless when it came to wooing Abby, because there are only so many times that I could ask her out to take tea with me, and there are only so many times that I could take to get rejected. So, Abby ended up being my incentive to learn English. But I didn't want to waste time. There are other guys out there, so I thought, actions speak louder than words, and gifts speak louder than actions.
So, every morning on my way to school, I would walk by her house and I would put a chocolate bar in her mailbox. I did this for about a week. I didn't leave any notes, but I was like, "Chocolates. Russian boy. Take tea with me. Chocolates." [audience laughter] She put the two together. She ignored me. She didn't do anything. So, I found a confidant in Mrs. Brown, my second-grade homeroom teacher, who was the nicest Iowan woman in her mid-70s. Every two weeks, she'd give the second graders assigned seating. So, one day I approached her after class, and I was like, "Mrs. Brown, I am in love with Abby and you have got to put me next to her." [audience laughter] So, Mrs. Brown says, "I'll see what I can do." [audience laughter]
The next morning, I come into school-- Oh, my God, I'm seated next to Abby and I'm thinking, this is my big break. My English has gotten better. This is going to be two weeks of flirting, and conversation and the start of an endless romance. We get our worksheets and Abby's all business. We finish the worksheet and she turns to her friends across the room and turns her back to me.
And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm getting over Abby, because my English is getting good and I'm making friends with all the other second graders. Maybe I've accepted that things with Abby aren't going to work out. But then, in the late fall, we have an in-school field trip to the school gym. [audience laughter] Because there's a performance by a string quartet that's happening in the school gym for the second graders. So, all the second graders file down to the gym, and we all sit in a semicircle around these string players and we all sit cross-legged on the floor.
I make sure to pick a position that's right underneath the first violinist, but still really close to Abby. And then, the string section starts playing. It's this really moving piece and I'm thinking, “Holy shit, this is it.” This is the chance I've been waiting for. This is my big break, because if I just show Abby how sensitive I am, if I'm moved by this music, she will totally fall for me. I'm looking up at the first violinist and I'm trying so hard to force tears. I'm trying so hard to force tears. And then, the tears come and then I'm crying and then I'm weeping and then I'm sobbing and my body's shaking. [audience laughter] I can't control the crying once I've started.
I'm sitting right under the first chair violinist. He's playing and he's looking down at me. It's only now that I look back at it and I'm thinking, “I must have made this guy's day.” [audience laughter] He's playing to this group of 20 eight-year-olds, who are picking their nose and shuffling around and talking to their friends. And then, there's this one who is looking up at him, cathartically sobbing. [audience laughter] Whatever effect I may have had on the violinist, Abby was stone. She totally ignored me.
And you know what? Second grade came and went, and so did Abby. But I wanted to commemorate that. I wanted to give her a goodbye letter. So, in May, at the end of school, I sat down and I wanted to do it with my voice. So, I sat down with my mom's little tape recorder and I put on this fake 1950s crooner voice, like when in 1950s songs they have the bridge and then the guy drops his voice down an octave. So, I sit down with my mom's tape recorder and I say, "Abby, I loved you, but you broke my heart. And now, I'm going back to Russia [audience laughter] and I will never see you. Goodbye." [audience laughter]
I spent like two hours getting this letter just right. The experience proves to be so therapeutic that I don't need to give her the tape. I lose track of the tape, and I go back to Russia and I move on. And then, like a year later, I come home from school in Russia. I come home from school to our apartment and I open the door and I hear the sound. My heart sinks immediately, because I immediately recognize the sound of my voice. I walk into the living room and I see my parents hysterically laughing by the stereo. [audience laughter]
And out of the stereo speakers, I hear, "Abby, I loved you, [audience laughter] but you broke my heart and I'm going back to Russia. Goodbye." [audience laughter] And it's so loud, my parents don't even notice that I'm in the room. They're replaying the tape. [audience laughter] Finally, my dad looks over at me, and he looks at me, and I look at him and he sees the betrayal in my eyes. I look at him. I'm speechless and he's speechless, and he just turns off the stereo and he's gathering himself. I'm gathering for the kill. He looks at me and he just says, "You know, your English was really good." [audience laughter] Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Aleeza: [00:13:23] That was Ivan Kuraev. These days, Ivan spends a lot of his time listening to other people's home recordings and audio love notes. He's a podcast editor and sound engineer living in Poughkeepsie, New York. And he's also one of our beloved live sound engineers at SLAMs and Mainstages in New York City.
Ivan's story really captured the blissful naïveté of childhood crushes, the lengths that we would go to simply be noticed, even if that means forcing yourself to cry hysterically during an assembly. With age, we may be more hesitant to embarrass ourselves, but young Ivan's courage is so heartwarming and maybe it'll inspire you to finally make that grand gesture you've been contemplating.
If our stories this week have moved you, here are a few questions to get you thinking about stories of your own. When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone? How did that make you feel? Do you have an embarrassing moment that you’ve learned to laugh at? You can also find these prompts in the Extras for this episode on our website, themoth.org/extras.
We’re sad to say that this is our last episode of our summer special series, All Together Now, Fridays with The Moth. We hope you’ve enjoyed these weekly episodes and hearing from so many different members of our staff and community. The Moth Podcast is going back to its regular schedule and will continue to feature a rotating cast of hosts from The Moth family. Some you may know and some you might meet for the first time. We always want your feedback, so let us know what you thought about All Together Now on social media or write to us on our website, themoth.org/contact. Until next time, from all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy week.
Julia: [00:15:05] Aleeza Kazmi is a former Moth Assistant Producer and alumna of The Moth Education Program. She began telling stories with The Moth in 2015. And her story, Pastels and Crayons, has been heard on The Moth Radio Hour and published in Teen Vogue and The Moth’s third book, Occasional Magic.
Aleeza: [00:15:25] Podcast production by Julia Purcell. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at prx.org.